Joanna93 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Hey so I need some advice, I have been seeing a guy for the last 5 months (Pete) In the beginning he wanted a relationship with me but I wanted to wait for a month or two until we knew each other better, anyway since then a lot has happened. Eventually he wouldnt answer my phone calls or text messages, he spends a lot of time with his friends and though I can understand that he is close with them I felt completely unappreciated and depressed by this. In retaliation I went out on dates with other men even though it was quiet an immature thing to do... I simply felt if he isn't bothered about seeing me why should I sit at home crying into my pillow on a Saturday night. The whole thing came to blows when Pete found out that I had slept with a guy that he really hates however this fling happened before anything happened with Pete. I spoke to Pete on Friday and I told him how I felt about the whole thing I told him that I want to try and make it work and I apologized for the hurt that I may have caused. He agreed to also stay saying that I make him feel good and that he does like me. However I really feel as though he's just saying this I don't have the feeling that hes serious and I haven't heard from him since Saturday after he dropped me home but this is a normal occurrence im always the one to initiate contact. Actions clearly speak louder than words I don't know why he doesn't walk away when I feel like he doesn't care and i'm wondering should I, it is worth the hassle and pain. As I mentioned he is extremely close with his friends and they really don't like me but he has said that's their problem anyways none of his friends work and neither does he. They also take a lot of drugs and so does Pete, I don't take drugs i'm in my last year of University and I work part time. He is not willing to give up drugs for me or his life style but I don't know how to walk away from this guy. I dont think neither of us are innocent in this however I am willing to try and he knows that I truly care for him but is it right to let him have his way while i've to do the chasing ?? I dont want to be made a fool of and it is causing me a lot of pain. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 He doesn't work, he takes drugs and he doesn't want a relationship. He isn't bf material. Find someone that shares your core values. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Why are you with loser??????? What does your family and friends think of this guy? Loser criteria: Jobless Does drugs Hangs with friends all the time You need to address your self esteem issues. You are the one that always initiates and are left home on date nights. He is also a very poor choice in a dating partner. Do you plan to support this guy, or do you already? You need to expect a lot more for yourself!!! Link to comment
Joanna93 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 To be honest I feel a lot for people that are often the 'underdogs', he is starting a course next week which is something positive. My family dont want him anywhere near the house and two of my close friends really dont like him. Yes I have a lot of self esteem issues I suppose its been loneliness that has kept me going back to him. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 He isn't an "under dog"...he is a loser. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Don't look for fixer-uppers! I would also look into co-dependency. Do you pay for things when you go out? Why would you think you have a future with someone like this. Other than that, he is a loser, and isn't even nice to you. You need to listen to your family and friends, as you are not looking out for your own best interest. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 It seems that you jumped from a really bad relationship to another. Have you considered taking a long break from men, and getting some counseling? You're making some very poor relationship choices. Link to comment
goddess Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 OMG! STAY AWAY from this loser!! Don't give your heart to him. He doesn't deserve it. Please, please, please don't get yourself mixed up with someone who takes drugs. This will lead to a very toxic relationship IF it ever crystalizes (which it won't, I am certain from what you've said)). If he's like this now, what makes you think it will get better? It sounds to me that he truly is not interested but hopes to use you. If he really cared about you, he'd meet you half way. STOP chasing him, girl!! Listen to what your heart is saying to you, please. You are better off alone, rather than getting involved with this nasty type of person. Do something to build up your self esteem. Write your positive attributes down and focus on them. Buy some pretty clothes, get your hair done, etc. If you project a self-confident aura, your chances of finding the right person will increase. If that doesn't work, buy some books on self confidence (or the internet), or seek counselling. Oh, one more thing: LEAVE HIM. Link to comment
Joanna93 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Thanks for the advice I know that ye are right the best thing I can do for myself and my sanity is to walk away. Link to comment
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