Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Hi Everyone! Not serious, just looking for opinions please....read on.... I'm fed up with mulling this over but it completely baffled me, so I'm looking for anyone else's take on this to help my sanity Okay, so, at the gym there's this guy, I know he is interested as he smiles, and anywhere I go he's there and he looks at me all the time and tried to speak to me even though I wear headphones. He seems like a decent guy not the creepy kind, but his comments are a bit confusing. What do you think, is he interested in me or just interested in getting with anyone!!! Read on.... He was lunging with a 25kg weight, I know a lot about fitness and suggested some things to help. I also said 'you know, wear headphones like I do to keep you focused during your workouts so you don't get distracted.' I was being helpful and encouraging, friendly, as that's just me. He turns round and says 'I get distracted by women' and then walked off to do something else (not in a moody way or anything). I was then left thinking, why on earth would you say that to me?? A). Was he trying to make me jealous, by making think he has women approach him. B). Was he complimenting me by making out I was distracting him because he's interested in me. C). Was he just basically saying that he is distracted by women and looks at them all the time, as in...has a wandering eye, which of course is a huge red flag!! Or any other opinion would be nice, it's not serious, it's just bugging me as to what it means, I don't see him enough there to ask him and I'm not that interested to find out why, it's just to stop my mind ticking this over!!! Thanks everyone Peace out Link to comment
zebragirl Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I think you are over thinking his comment. You said you wear headphones to drown out distraction and he replies he's distracted by women, which can be taken to mean just what he said. You can't drown out a visual distraction with headphones so he's basically saying headphones won't help him. And if you are a woman you may be distracting to him. If he shows you attention he may like the distraction. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Admittedly yep over thinking I'm guilty of here!! Do you think this means then, that generally he can't keep his eyes off any women not just me? Bit of a silly thing to say to the woman you like isn't it? Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 You were distracting him. He said what he meant...the headphones drown out noise...not sight. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 But in a good way..as in he's interested in me in particular? or he just wants me to shut up as I'm distracting him? There's so many ways of reading into this... Thanks for your insights so far though! Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Since he walked away I would say choice #2. Link to comment
missmarple Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 If someone told me what he did and then walked away, I would definitely not talk to him first again. To me it sounds like he only meant you were distracting him...not that he's interested in you. I see no compliment in what he said. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 That's what I thought, confusing because he gave me so many obvious signs of interest, then when he said this, it was like oh okay I will just shut up then and he can just go and check out other women all the time. Mixture of rude, shallow and childish. I could be wrong though..hence why I'm on here for opinions Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I don't see it as a mix of anything. You approached him...he never approached you. You gave him unsolicited pointers... Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 He said hi to me first, we were in the same area, he sat down, I then said what I did, he then said what he did, then he left. This isn't the first time we've chatted. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Saying "hi" when you are sharing an area is common courtesy. I think he goes to the gym to workout. And I think you were thinking he might be dating material. And he has shut that down very quickly and effectively. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Why did he approach me then, all the times before. It's me that goes there to work out, I'm the one wearing headphones. Why would anyone approach someone wearing headphones in the first place? I have no problem with him not being interested, I was just perplexed by his comment because for 6 months he has been following me round, smiling at me, interrupting my workouts when it's clear I'm focused plus wearing headphones. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 He may have taken your comment as a slap. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Crazy isn't it! This is what happens when people don't just come out and say how they feel, you're left to assume and then it just spirals. Even more so when you like that person, so he could be more sensitive to what I say to him. I was just disappointed if anything because I thought he was a decent guy, I thought I had my decent guy radar back on track. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I would take this as general chit chat, and not read into it any further. If he were interested in dating you, he would have asked you out by now, especially with it being six months in, IMO. In addition to that, you know the saying that goes with the term "assume." Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Assumption is the mother of all.... Yep I know it. Thanks!! I always remind myself 'if a guy is really interested in you, he will make the effort, he will ask you out' there wouldn't be any need to wonder or guess or assume because he would make things clear. Thanks everyone for all your help so far with this.... Link to comment
zebragirl Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Personally I think your unasked for pointer on wearing headphones might have put him off. A lot of people don't like unsolicited advice. If you think he's nice and wanted to actually strike up conversation I would have said something else but not given advice. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Also, adding that you use them so you aren't distracted implied he was distracting you. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 We've spoken before about fitness, but yep a guy probably doesn't like a girl giving him advice, as it may make him feel inadequate. I guess that shows I don't really have any interest as I'm too alpha around him. But genuinely I wanted to help, its up to him how he wants to read into that. But if he likes me then he would be more sensitive about anything I said. I took my headphones out as I was leaving, he was there, said hi, sat down and I commented on what he was doing, just trying to help, and that was his response. He's said to me before, 'do you just want the hot guys to approach you' that was another comment he made previously. I didn't know what that meant either. Link to comment
mhowe Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Wow, you make a lot of assumptions! Giving unwanted advice doesn't necessarily translate into him feeling inadequate. It could simply be that if he wanted advice, he would ask for it. From your other information about other conversations, I think he finds you aloof...not alpha. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Nobody knows what he was doing, but him. His behavior seems knobbish. "Okay, so, at the gym there's this guy, I know he is interested as he smiles," You don't know. It's usually a favorable sign. But that doesn't an attraction make. Link to comment
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