Sarah691607309662 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Prettycutie, he does not care for relationship. He cares to have sex and control over the girl. For this any would do. he ran away from you because he realized that he had to do all the boring stuff (r/s, liking you, respecting you) for a long time before his needs will be met (control, use, sex). Kudos to you that you did not contact him!!!! This is HUGE success, it speaks tons about your love for yourself and self-respect. Keep it up! This silence will lead you out of the woods one day. Only this silence. Meanwhile, try to come to terms with the idea that he is not hurting. He feels just fine. He tossed you like an object. Those narcissists they objectify people. People for them like toasters. You as a toaster refused to make his toasts and he discarded of you. Absence of any closure or explanation is part of devalue which takes place before the discard. That what narcs do to people. All people. It is just a matter of time when. The same thing happened to other girls he was using and the same thing will happen to all new girls he will be using. And all of these girls will suffer. Just as you do. But he will not. He will feel entitled and when something does not meet his needs, he will just toss it aside without a feeling and take something else. Those people are wired differently. This is why it is so hard to comprehend their behavior. We are coming from a different perspective. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Pretty cutie....the ones who jump from girl to girl are hiding some serious issues. To be honest he might be borderline personality too. When u get close.. they run. And they have a void that is helped by relationships...but once things get too close or hard, They run away....before they are left. They need pple to feel good but its temporary highs. Of course hes on dating sites. doesnt surprise me . He needs attention. !! Until that gets old too. Eventually he will call u ! These types always do. But by then u will be smarter and wiser. Dont let him in. Eventually hes gonna run away again and your pain of loss will be worse. Atleast u found out now. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Sarah 69 you are very right. I am going thru this same situation with a narcissist and i used to hear these stories alot...now that i experienced it I cant believe how textbook narcissist it really is. To be dumped is one thing but narcissists do it with no remorse. As if u never happened to them. And all my ex bf's previous exes had been dumped in the same way. Its very sad. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Sarah 69 you are very right. I am going thru this same situation with a narcissist and i used to hear these stories alot...now that i experienced it I cant believe how textbook narcissist it really is. To be dumped is one thing but narcissists do it with no remorse. As if u never happened to them. And all my ex bf's previous exes had been dumped in the same way. Its very sad. Yeah same here. It's like I've heard and seen these stories of guys walking off out of nowhere but little did I know it would happen to me. I had no idea I was dating a narcissist flop. But it's not like because we are over, it's the end of the world. There are decent guys out there, we just have to have them find us I guess.. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 He was with his last gf for 2 years and I know the others before her lasted at least 2 years as well, but with me not even a month. What's weird to me is a few years ago he'd always hang out with me (as friends or whatever it was) and we'd always do things as if we were dating. I knew he liked me because from my perspective guys don't always want to just hang out like that with any girl unless they're bored I guess. But I guess he got his needs satisfied awful fast with the others. He told me he was "too shy and nervous" back in the day to ask me out. Plus we were both in school at the time and he wanted to wait until we were done....but he claimed he thought about me with his last girlfriend. Like, to me that just isn't right. He said he didn't like long distance so that's why he waited 3 or so years to ask me out. But even though we knew each other, still. It's normal to just hang out first again for a few times. People change. I'm sorry if I keep ranting on and on about this guy, lol but reading all your opinions on this forum really helps me look at the positives and move on. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 I just thank god I found out now before it was months and months down the line of how this a**hole really is Link to comment
Sarah691607309662 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Prettycuite, most likely other girls gave him sex. It is very heartbreaking to be tossed aside for not complying with sexual needs. His behavior was unacceptable. Even if he would come back, you will never be able to trust him. And to be honest, if I knew this story about a man, I would never trust him. He is just not good. As simple as that. All this sweet talk is just a sweet talk. He did it for you to lose your sense of self and completely submit yourself to him. All men are notorious for doing sweet talk in order to woo a woman. Like women dress to make themselves more attractive, men talk sweetly. With some men it is genuine. But with some it is BS. It was BS this time. I know, it hurts. I does hurt me when I trust someone and then discover that it was my big illusion and wishful thinking. But this is life. It does happen. It makes you stronger to go through this experience. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you. It's very hard and difficult to be no body to him all because of not giving what he wanted. It's just really sad. Men like him...oh excuse me. BOYS like him miss out on decent girls when they just take off. But it's a horrible process to get over but you're right, it makes us stronger in the end. And it's experience for the future as well. But again, what you said really has helped me through this. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 U can vent whenever ! I always say this....we can vent all we want and talk about it for days...as long as we arent venting to the guy ! Youll be smarter with the next guy. It wasnt ur fault to believe him. Happens to all of us. Not sure how old u are or how many bfs u had but i have to say this....u are very strong to not chase him. Most of us learn that lesson the hard way but u are very strong and have self respect. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 U can vent whenever ! I always say this....we can vent all we want and talk about it for days...as long as we arent venting to the guy ! Youll be smarter with the next guy. It wasnt ur fault to believe him. Happens to all of us. Not sure how old u are or how many bfs u had but i have to say this....u are very strong to not chase him. Most of us learn that lesson the hard way but u are very strong and have self respect. I'm basically in my mid 20 -s or will be very soon and I don't have much experience with relationships which I told him from the start. He said "my last gf only had 1 relationship before me and we made it work." But he took advantage of me having little experience. Maybe a bit too far to ruin a friendship and relationship. But everything happens for a reason. Like I'm past crying daily and feeling horrible. Now I just think about the old times we used to have back in the day. I want that guy back. Unless I just never saw the real him until we dated. But I haven't contacted him because I figured why. If he just left me because of one thing he isn't worth my time. I've never felt so miserable in my life after he dumped me. I don't want to see or hear from him again. I've blocked off all communication with him, because seeing pics and stuff and his updates will only hurt me more. But I'm taking him as experience and this has made me stronger. It's just painful to see how people really are and how they treat others. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Doesn't help he lives 10 minutes away either... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Yeah same here. It's like I've heard and seen these stories of guys walking off out of nowhere but little did I know it would happen to me. I had no idea I was dating a narcissist flop. But it's not like because we are over, it's the end of the world. There are decent guys out there, we just have to have them find us I guess.. Well, we don't know if he's a narcissist but it's pretty obvious something isn't right when someone messages you out of the blue like that. Live and LEARN. Make sure now that you know better, you run for the hills in a similar situation with him or anyone else. Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Live and learn 👍 Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Haaa my ex who walked out like this lives few blocks away. Its gonna be hard for us but look the other way i guess Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 It's funny too cuz I wanna go to his work and cuss him out but...I won't. But yeah it sounds like we could even jog to out exes houses lol Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 They'll regret walking out someday Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Lol omg yeahh ... they regret it when they see the trashy types of women out there . Thats for sure Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 I guess you have to b a to keep a guy now a days..or how society has messed everything up to only be sex sex sex Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Lol omg yeahh ... they regret it when they see the trashy types of women out there . Thats for sure Have to be a * Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Omg it won't let me type the word lol but basically the media has warped guys it seems Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Thats the thing . Too many easy girls screwing it up for the good ones. Smh Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Yep, pretty much. Guys get used to the easy ones and once they get ones who aren't like the rest, they vanish Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Thats the thing . Too many easy girls screwing it up for the good ones. Smh You don't think it was wrong of me to block him do you? I know he's deleted me off his phone and snapchat and such so he won't contact me. But idk...it helps me so I won't constantly be checking his updates and pictures Link to comment
mandeelove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 No u were right. U would have went crazy seeing that stuff. U showed him he cant have access to u after what hes done Link to comment
prettycutie Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Yeah ur right. Thank you and to everyone else for putting up with all my ranting Link to comment
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