Stay for the career or move home to be with family

[aipangan]

Hey everyone!

 

So without trying to drag this out too long ill jump straight into it. I am 27 and I am on the fence whether or not i should move back to England where I have an amazing group of friends and family who I am really close with or stay in the US and try to establish myself in a career. I have spent one year back in the US after living in the Uk for 14 years and getting used to the culture differences is actually really hard for me. I haven't really made any friends and I just feel like im living to work at the moment. I have no social life outside of work and I don't really even know where to start with making new friends.

 

I moved here to work for my family company and to have a stable career, with better growth opportunities in terms of work. I am on 45,000 start which isn't a great deal of money for where I live, but I know there is future growth potential and job stability. If I were to move back to the Uk i know it would be much harder for me to find work but I would be around my friends and closest family members and their kids. I just see how much I am missing out on when everyone is together and I am not there. I am not really sure if this makes any sense I know iv just rambled a little bit, my heads just spinning try to get to grips with everything. If you have any questions let me know and I will try my best to fill in the blanks.

[alli]

Life is too short to spend doing something that doesn't make you happy.

 

However, having an income is also important. Consider working a bit more and aggressively saving your money as much as you can. Try to do things outside of work to meet people who could turn into great friends. It's only been a year, maybe give it a chance a little longer. Give yourself a goal- ie, save x amount of money or give it another 6-12 months. If you still don't like it, move home if you want to. But I would do as much research as I could on jobs in England before doing so. Maybe you can do Facetime or Skype interviews so you can secure a job before you get home.

 

Really, the most important thing is to do what makes you happy.

[chitown9]

Where are you originally from?

 

I think that you need to try to socialize more. Having a good career and income is sooo important. chi

[Willywagtail]

I think family and friends are important. If you feel isolated in the US, then no amount of $ is going to make up for that.

 

At least if you're in the UK, you'll have the support of family and friends when you're looking for work. You can even use them as your network to find work. The experience you've gained in the US will stand you in good stead and look great on your resume.

 

Go home. I agree with alli. Life IS too short to keep living in a country where you feel uncomfortable.

[aipangan]

Thank you for your replies everyone. Well I am originally from the US (Maryland) but moved to the UK (Manchester) when I was 13. I re-established myself meeting friends, getting myself through college and achieving my masters. I decided to move back to Maryland, but it just doesn't feel the same. Of course I was younger, but I thought it would have been easier to get with some of my older friends here in the States but I find that everyone around my age is already established in their own lives and it’s really difficult to make those connections again.

 

The area I live in now is quite isolated so it is difficult to really get out and socialize. The attempts I have made when I’ve been in the bar has more often than not led with some sort of confrontation like why is this guy talking to me feel.

 

I do agree Alli I am currently looking for job opportunities in England just to see what could be available to me if I did make the switch. I have had a year’s worth of good work experience and I do believe it will do me the world of good when applying for job in the UK. I agree that I need to start doing what makes me happy rather than chasing potential earnings.

[boltnrun]

I moved back to my home state after 4 years in another state where I was very happy. I moved back because I had NO family in the new state. I did, however, have lots of friends and zillions of activities. But I missed my family (especially my children, they are adults living in the home state) and got tired of always having to plan a JOURNEY to see them.

 

I moved back to the home state, but in a different area, in with family members. I have NO friends and there is NOTHING to do here. I am borderline miserable and daydream all the time about moving back to the state I'd lived in for 4 years and been happy in. However, the family thing would be exactly the same. I do have a job I absolutely love, and I just got promoted, plus it is so much easier to see my children, who live an hour and a half away as opposed to several hours by car. So, I've decided to stick it out in my home state and just plain make it work. I visited my "happy" state recently and it's still a great place, but my family won't follow me there! So, to paraphrase Tim Gunn, I'll "make it work".

 

I'm for living where you're happy. If you can secure employment prior to moving back, you can work your way back up to where you are now. My job paid less than the job I had in my "happy" state, but I just got promoted so it's almost back up to the same level. I'll work on making friends and I am working on finding activities to do (pickings are slim!) nearby.

 

I agree, life's too short to spent years and years being unhappy.

[aipangan]

Thanks again for your replies. I just wanted to update you all on my decision. I decided to make the move home and I feel like a lot of weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I recently told my family who I am living with at the minute and they were very understanding. I just explained that after being away for a year its made me realize that I want to and establish a life around my brothers and I am glad they support it. Moving to the US has been a lot harder than I initially thought it was going to be and I just don't think I am prepared to make the effort it takes to establish myself all over again. I am just going to take this time now to save up as much money as I can and look for jobs back in the UK. Thanks again everyone for your advice.

[BingYu]

I'm happy to be able to hear you say that after you've made your decision aipangan.

 

I had a similar decision to make to yours...except I'm slightly younger, and my move was Australia -> Germany. I had nieces and nephews all between the age of 1.5-6 years old when I moved... I had ample opportunities for me to launch a career overseas - the career prospects were many and challenging to obtain, but innumerable and far far more advanced than here in Perth (even til this day, though there has been major development in the last two years), I don't regret coming back one bit.

 

Yes, I still miss the life and independence I had over there. I miss the friends, sometimes overwhelmingly (but there's facebook and skype!! Thank God!). But I have friends here, and most of all, I have my family. The biggest thing I believe that I chose when I made the decision to move back was to be there for my niece and nephews. I didn't want to be the estranged uncle they never grew up with. I want them to grow up beside me...

 

...In my heart of hearts I believe that there's no one in the world like your own family .

 

...I'm rejoicin' with ya!!