Breaking a bad habbit -.-

[CharlieCheese]

Hello

So my son is 3 and has the attitude of a 14 year old so the other day he was doing my absolute nut it and my sister/his aunt had offered to have him over night, me wanting to actually have a bath without being stared at with intent by a 3 year old, I jumped at the offer.

So my little boy never usually watches the tv, I've been very strong about keeping him active with an abundance of different toys, train tracks, puzzles, books, colouring books, his big kitchen. I bake with him and get him involved with the house work like helping with the laundry and such, nothing harmful but he loves it.

Soooo my sister took him over to hers he was brilliant all night (Sod's law) however when he came home my sister had mentioned that she had a programme on the background that apparently he loves, it's called CBeebies and in particular In the night garden, it is pure sugar for the eyes and potentially turns your brain to porridge, now most days he screams for it to be on and throws a huge wobbly if he doesn't get it on, is there anyway I can stop this strange obsession or do I have to persist with just not putting it on and letting him tantrum?

Charlie x

[pippy longstocking]

This will always be so controversial ...should our kids watch tv ...

 

mine did .. I have been a single mother mostly , at times I needed the "baby sitting" the tv can give ..even if it was just to nip for a bath or get something done ..

 

I think it's just fantastic that your son has got to 3 and you have not allowed the tv ..total respect for that .

 

It is not a stange obsession , most tots have a tv show they focus on ..be it the telly tubbies and the tweenies to whatever is going on now tv wise ..cbeebies is aimed at children , for children , with educational content as well as silly fun . I wouldn't see it as an obsession , kids like to chill doing their thing just like us .

[CharlieCheese]

He has watched the tv before it's not a lot but it's not completely banned that would just be in realistic, it's just when he screams when it doesnt go on when he wants it, I've tried explaining that we can't just scream and get what we want but nope he's having none of it, it's the behaviour more that the tv that's annoying

[pippy longstocking]

He has watched the tv before it's not a lot but it's not completely banned that would just be in realistic, it's just when he screams when it doesnt go on when he wants it, I've tried explaining that we can't just scream and get what we want but nope he's having none of it, it's the behaviour more that the tv that's annoying

 

ahh right I get you ...my daughter was like that over a video called "lovely lady locks" dear god I knew that film back to front and sideways ..I had to have control on how many times she watched it ...she would have seen it over and over all day if I let her ..they must lose their little selves in it just the way we do with things ...

 

could you use it as part of a reward system ...

[CharlieCheese]

Oh I didn't think of using it as a reward system I'll have to give it a try and see what happens

[catfeeder]

Whatever you do, don't reward a tantrum by giving in--ignore it. He'll wear himself out if you're doing something else that appears fun while ignoring the fuming.

 

Use his interest in the show as means for him to begin learning how to negotiate. Ask for something you want from him in exchange for a viewing. Allow him to earn his views over time with increased performance of age appropriate skills. Do this sparingly to avoid making the show his only reward--find other things to entice him with as well.

 

EnjOy!

[alli]

Maybe choose a certain time of the day & days of the week that he will be allowed to watch the show. If he can see a calendar and/or a clock you can point out when the next day/time is that he can watch the show. I know kids don't have a very good concept of time/calendars/clocks but if you say "you can watch it when the small hand is on the 6" then maybe he'll focus on checking the clock rather than throwing a fit with you?

 

When I was a kid my parents would set a timer so I wouldn't sit there & play video games all day. When the timer buzzed, it was the timers fault that I had to stop. Not my parents telling me to. Good times, lol.

[ParisPaulette]

Yes, use it as a rewards system. You can't help when a toddler gets obsessed with something (I've had three plus helped raise a sibling's kids) so just integrate it as a reward.

 

Never give in to tantrums, but never lose your cool either. Simply let him rage it out and ignore him when he does it. And then have some sort of rewards and penances system in place and stick to that, no matter how loud they scream. Of course, you could also do what I did one time after my oldest son, the tantrum king, and get down alongside him to throw your own tantrum. It worked, he stopped his tantrum, started laughing and then sternly told me to stop it. Then after that I was told I would get no pie for dinner and I didn't that night after we reminded each other we hadn't earned it that day due to our tantrums. Somehow it shifted something and he never really was as into tantrums as he had been after that. Seeing Mom lose it like that sort of sobered him up I guess.

 

And while TV wasn't as readily accessed with my oldest it was a whole different story with my youngest. I can quote you every freaking line of "Master in Disguise" with Dana Carvey. And I hate that movie with the burning passion of a thousand suns. I even forbid him to buy it, so we'd have to go down to the video store (remember those) and rent it every time he did something good and wanted a reward, which was often since he's actually the best behaved of any of my boys. I paid a small fortune in rental fees, but at least I got to take the video back and not keep it in my house.

 

Ah, the things we do for love. Just put the show in as a rewards system and keep calm with the tantrums. They do pass if the child learns it's not how they get their way in life. It does get better as they learn to gain control over their emotions and actions, I promise.

[DancingFool]

Check this out. link removed

The method taught is really and truly effective.

[Batya33]

Yes, definitely as a reward and wait out the tantrums as long as he is not harming himself or destroying property. I remind my son (almost 6) that while he is screaming I will not discuss anything with him and I do my very best to stick to it.

 

He did and does watch TV -nothing excessive and not for long periods of time -but so far no Ipad or device, occasional computer time to play a game (less than once a week, usually about 30 minutes) and computer time to do educational websites but not much of that either.

One thing you can do if you have time -watch the show with him an interact with him while he watches it so that he's not in some kind of stupor ;-)

[chickadeedee]

I think it helps when the parent has realistic expectations as to what their child can and will encounter in the world and tries to have a balanced approach to things.

 

By that i mean, your child can and will encounter TV and all kinds of different media. TV in itself isn't 'bad' or 'good' because there are many interesting and educational things that can be found on TV for kids (or adults) and your task as a parent is to choose things that will benefit your child and let them enjoy their childhood and life rather than having an 'all TV is bad' draconian approach to life because that frankly isn't based on reality.

 

Some of my happiest memories as a child are related to watching some great programs on TV with my parents on education channels like PBS, nature programs or history programs, things that taught me things and were high quality programming that we shared together. And for a 3 year old, there are good educational programs targeted to your child's age. So perhaps the issue is you need to gain some perspective and use TV wisely with your child rather than forbidding it and acting like it is something that it is not (i.e., TV is not evil in itself and can be very beneficial and great enjoyment and learning if you make choices wisely).

 

it also will teach your child discipline and how to make good choices if you work with your child to teach him self control. As in saying, 'some TV is good for you and some is not and is just a waste of time, so let's choose some good programs and watch them together.' If your child is getting some stimulation from TV (and the right kind of TV) then that is a very good thing and will also give you a break sometimes to focus on other things while your child watches some educational TV.

 

You also have to be cautious from the standpoint I was raised around some 'militant' parents who said things like 'absolutely no sugar at all' and their children became pariahs because they couldn't go to birthday parties and have cake and their parents make such ridiculous and embarrassing stinks and militant pronouncements every time their kid got within 100 feet of a sugar product. And those were the kids who grew up to go on absolute BINGES of bad food and drugs because they'd spent their childhoods deprived of normal childhood things and foods (in moderation) and hence had no clue how to control themselves or make decisions about healthy choices in life when raised by an 'all or nothing' type parent who could not grasp life's subtleties and apply them to child rearing.

 

So perhaps you need to adjust your perspective a bit, and help your child learn some moderation and self discipline rather than getting into a contest of wills with him over this kind of black and white 'all TV is bad' type thinking/pronouncements when your child can and will grow up in a world with all kinds of media in it that can be used for good or not based on the choices that are made.