Should I Marry Or Not?

[Lester]

I don't know..., this smells like a troll/joke post to me.

[mhowe]

I don't know..., this smells like a troll/joke post to me.

 

It was the morning breath.

[tattoobunnie]

Nah - I'm sure it's real. I believe the whole cheating with his family member did it, but looking to add kerosene into the fire. Ah, remember what's it like in your mid-twenties, when people hound you with asking, "so when are you getting married????"

[Bsmith275]

This is a real situation guys. I just joined today.

[Clinton]

A marriage that starts with this much baggage attached to it is doomed to failure.

 

It's hard enough to stay married to each other when you're both head over heals in love and on the same page as far as likes or wants.

 

You want this woman to change in a lot of ways. It won't happen. In addition you've both cheated.

 

Get married if you want to but you'll be divorced inside of 5 years.

[Lester]

Well if real..., coincidentally while watching mass today on ewtn, Fr. Mitch Pacwa talked about the young indecisive persons of today. (Can't find the exact quote but it went something like this.)

 

There waiting and waiting for the right time to marry..., but that time never comes.

 

It's like the boy climbing the high dive only to become scared and come back down.

If you don't jump after the first or second time... you most likely never will. - Pacwa (He also said, It's okay to be single!)

[Betteralready]

Wow, Bsmith. Okay.

 

Humans grow hair and pass gas, and when you are married to someone, you're bound to catch them in a gross moment, living in the same home. Having a mature relationship means looking past one's uglier moments.

I agree, however, that anyone who expects companionship should make an effort to stay attractive, groomed, and clean. So if her habits are unusually neglectful, I call low self-esteem.

 

Now, as for the cheating and retaliatory cheating and messy communication issues?

You both need counseling. Anyone who has read my posts before knows I recommend it to pretty much everyone who asks for help. I might even smell like a pro-therapy troll. I'm not- I'm a lawyer who thought I knew everything and could fix anything until I actually started listening to my therapist.

 

I believe that most people on here are lost in some kind of way, which means we can sometimes be the blind leading the blind. Not always- experience is also a great teacher and we can help each other through support.

Some issues, however, cannot be answered by well-meaning friends. Whether or not you stay in a relationship with (let alone MARRY) this woman depends on both of your abilities to understand your problems, willingness to work through them, and properly balancing your individual needs with the needs of the relationship. That kind of work requires professional supervision.

 

It's like the difference between treating a paper cut and a punctured lung. You can clean and bandage the paper cut on your own. But unless you're a surgeon, you need a pro to fix that punctured lung. And even if you are a surgeon, you can't operate on yourself, you dig?

 

Good luck to you!