erasing food

[majora]

i'm 23. during summer i barely worked so i went to the gym 4-5 times a week. and doing this influenced me to eat healthy, because i didn't want to waste the time i spent exercising. however, i started working full time about a month ago and am either too tired or too busy to exercise, and now at dinner time i end up eating until i'm super full and it makes me feel guilty.

over the years i have a few times tried to make myself vomit after a big meal, mostly because i'd feel too full or guilty, but i could never physically actually bring up my food so i never actually vomited after a meal.

however, since working, i've made myself vomit 4ish times, and its been easy, not even painful, and come up straight away.

i don't feel fat as such, i know i'm thinner than a lot of people, i just am worried to get fat when i eat so much at dinner. but its only sometimes, i don't ALWAYS eat heaps at dinner.

i really don't feel like there is anything wrong with me, i'm happy and feel good about myself, its just a weird preventative thing i've started. i know its physically bad to make yourself vomit, bad teeth, bad digestion etc.

i assume people will immediately assume bulimia, i won't agree. i'm basically making this post just to see what people say about it, because i'm just stuck not really knowing if anything is weird about me.

thanks.

[1a1a]

If you keep doing that, it will turn into bulimia, and that is messed up. Also in my opinion eating food just to throw it up again is quite contemptuous of people who haven't enough money to eat enough, let alone too much.

 

Also, when you come out of a stint of exercising like that, your metabolism is fired up making you more hungry. Either get back into doing something for 20 mins each day, or make portion sizes and stick to them.

 

In your defense, I have done that once or thrice, I used to work at mcdonalds doing close shifts and sometimes I'd eat the leftover fries and nuggets, then regret it, then throw that up. So yep, I've "erased" food too. But not Real food, and not one of the 3 meals I'm Meant to eat in a day. And now, years later, I've begun body acceptance and don't need to be thin to feel worthy.

[agent1607307371]

Throwing food up after you've eaten it won't actually do anything for your weight. Bulimia/ED does not mean someone is skinny.

 

The fact that you're making yourself throw up is very concerning and something you need to sort out now. food + guilt+ binging is a bad mix. You need to speak to somoene to unravel it before you cause yourself some physical harm.

[Fudgie]

Agent is right about bulimia. You know, most bulimics are NOT skinny. They tend to be average weight, sometimes overweight.

[SpottiOtti]

^^^ Interesting point, ladies; I did not know that.

 

OP, what you've got brewing here is an unhealthy body image/obsession and food issues. You can call it whatever you want, but it's not a sustainable way of life. What would you like to do in order to change it?

[Batya33]

I had a eating disorder in my teens/early 20s. Took me many years to get over it and took my body years to get back to normal as far as my menstrual cycle. For a few years at least I wasn't sure if I could ever conceive a child -scary stuff! I never made myself throw up but I greatly restricted food intake and overexercised. At my lowest point I was about 15 pounds underweight and I am petite. Please please don't go down this path. There are other ways to stay fit and healthy. I am now in my late 40s, never been fat and I don't diet - I work out regularly and eat in moderation and am very tuned into my hunger/full cues.

[bulletproof]

i assume people will immediately assume bulimia, i won't agree. i'm basically making this post just to see what people say about it, because i'm just stuck not really knowing if anything is weird about me.

thanks.

 

Maybe it's not full-blown bulimia yet, but it could certainly become that.

There is nothing "weird" about you; you are simply viewing food/your body in a mentally unhealthy way.

If you have a full-time job, then you probably have insurance. Perhaps see a therapist and talk about your relationship with food/your body. It might really help to get it out into the open, because otherwise it might become a dirty little secret that could really hurt you.

[ParisPaulette]

Vomiting up your food deliberately is never a good thing. The stomach acid on your teeth alone is hell. Not to mention it burning your throat and larynx. It's why people with GERD can have difficulties with their throat, develop chronic coughs and worse since stomach acid is not something you normally want on a regular basis in contact with delicate throat tissue and tooth enamel. I had a condition when I was pregnant with my first child where I had 24/7 morning sickness and just throwing up as often as I did started to eat at the enamel on my teeth and yes, it did permanent damage.

 

And the fact is such behaviors can become addictive and/or a habit. They also let you slide out of things like exercise or eating healthier, because "Hey, I can just vom it all away instead."

 

This is not good. You need to stop it now before it does turn into a full-blown eating disorder. I know how tempting it can all be, but the fact is there's a reason why puking is usually a body's last defense against illness and/or things harming the body--not it's first. It's extremely rough physically. Also binge eating can become a habit too.

 

You are far better off to take the extra effort it must take to induce vomiting and instead put that effort into eating more balanced meals throughout the day and at least getting some exercise, even if it's just a 15-minute walk in. Vomiting is a really dangerous habit to develop.

 

This isn't weirdness. This is to some degree a bit of "I want the fast route solution and damn the consequences of that" type of mindset. It's not a good one to have. You need to change your thinking and start realizing the things you do to your body today you pay for later, both in the good and in the bad.

[blueidealist24]

Instead of vomiting, you need to work on portion control so you never eat too much that you feel as if you should vomit. I recently read about some plastic portion control rings that aren't that expensive and will show you how much of each food group you should be eating at every meal. If something doesn't fit in the appropriate ring, you need to cut it down smaller or just leave the excess on your plate.

[zebragirl]

Learning to control portions is a much better habit to get into than purging. Why not work on that. After you cook the food, put on your plate what you plan to eat, put away all the leftovers before you even sit down if you need to, this where there is no temptation. I've heard it suggested that people do that even at restaurants. Ask for a to go box right up front or bring your own, put half in the box and then eat what's on your plate no more. It take 20 minutes for the full signal to get to your brain so sit and drink some water or something after instead of hurrying to get more if you aren't sure you are full.