Interpreting texts

[wondering731]

I went on a date with someone last Saturday. I've been busy so I haven't yet been able to go out with her for a second date. I do text her though and am trying to get to know her a little better but it takes her the last few days about 20 min-45min to reply. The only thing is is when I text her to wish her a goodnight the replies are instantaneous for a few minutes.

 

Is she bored and uninterested and if so why the instant responses at the end? Any thoughts? Thanks

[mhowe]

Texting is not a good way to get to know someone.

 

While this can be an endlessly debatable topic on these threads...if you had one date and have not set up another one...she has no need to satisfy your need to text her.

[reinventmyself]

I went on a date with someone last Saturday. I've been busy so I haven't yet been able to go out with her for a second date. I do text her though and am trying to get to know her a little better but it takes her the last few days about 20 min-45min to reply. The only thing is is when I text her to wish her a goodnight the replies are instantaneous for a few minutes.

 

Is she bored and uninterested and if so why the instant responses at the end? Any thoughts? Thanks

 

Everyone is different. 20-45 minutes may be her normal.

If I went on one date with someone who was too busy to arrange a second I would probably be being cautious with them and at the same time trying to decode their actions.

 

Why don't you call her and have personal conversation in the meantime? I think it would do you both good.

And honestly, I don't think you can `get to know someone' at least not personally by texting.

Good luck!

[sadchick83]

If you have to analyze texts, you are in trouble already. Just call her. Or, send her an email with an article she might be interested in. Do something with some thought. A text is the most minimal form of communication-from an effort standpoint. If thats all you are doing, why should she answer back like a dog doing tricks? She probably interprets the good night texts as a bit more personal.

 

Man up and call her. BTW, no one is that busy. Maybe she is seeing someone who actually calls or puts in a greater effort? Maybe you need to examine your time management skills.

[ParisPaulette]

If you want to get to know someone don't count on text, where you cannot see or feel or hear anything about the other person, to do it. And if she's anything like I am she might well consider texting a huge pain in the butt. I get extremely annoyed when someone wants to use text to talk to me outside of very brief messages--pick up dry cleaning, goodnight my love, call me. I have a life that means I usually have to have both hands free to do things and texting is something that means I have to stop everything I'm doing to tap away at a tiny freaking keyboard while everything else comes to a screeching halt.

 

Just because she doesn't answer you right away and go on and on with you via text does not mean she's not interested, it just means she's busy living her life. Pick up the phone and pursue a live conversation with her, you will know in five minutes of talking to her on the phone what weeks of texting will never tell you--is she happy to hear from you? Does she sound excited? Do you both fall into talking about things and then two hours whiz by, because you found out you have a ton in common and you have another date?

 

None of that will happen with text. Call her.