rainydays1 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 we've been texting a bit here and there but she is definitely talking to me more of a friend than anything. she is in a new relationship now over 4 months and is happy that i'm "over" her and moving on. it's bitter sweet b/c i'm glad we are talking but part of me wants her to miss me and still care about me. part of me wants her to want me back. is it possible to move out of the friend zone? this girl was totally head over heals in love with me when we were together, things fell apart and she moved on quick but part of me feels or maybe just wishes there is something more there...does she deep down still love me? this process sucks Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 we've been texting a bit here and there but she is definitely talking to me more of a friend than anything. she is in a new relationship now over 4 months and is happy that i'm "over" her and moving on. it's bitter sweet b/c i'm glad we are talking but part of me wants her to miss me and still care about me. part of me wants her to want me back. is it possible to move out of the friend zone? this girl was totally head over heals in love with me when we were together, things fell apart and she moved on quick but part of me feels or maybe just wishes there is something more there...does she deep down still love me? this process sucks Hey Rainy- I know this isn't fun. I also went ahead and highlighted what stood out to me. Unfortunately she's moved on. Four months in fact. If you still care for her, you need to sever all contact. It's the only way you're going to heal. Regarding your question about if she still loves you. I dont know. In fact no one on this earth would know, only her. You can ask her, but chances are you might get an answer that you don't want to hear. At this point, you need to be healthy and feel good about yourself. You can't allow speculation and "what ifs" to plague you. Things will get better. It's just going to take some time. Good luck. Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 ya but does "moving on" really mean being over someone? she's got to be looking back and comparing how well I treated her and how I had my life together and how her new man is a mess. I think in time it's gonna hit her and she'll realize she messed up when it's too late and i'm long gone. and I really hope that happens Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I can't speak for her or their situation. However, my roommate in college and his high school sweet heart broke up in college. He remained single. She dated another guy for a year. Finally in their 3rd year (I believe) they reconciled, got married and eventually had children. So it is possible. I just don't know the odds, as I'm going to guess they're pretty small. It's understandable why you're so upset. Why do you hope she realizes she messed and that you'll be long gone? Hope this is helping. Link to comment
chamachama Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 ya but does "moving on" really mean being over someone? she's got to be looking back and comparing how well I treated her and how I had my life together and how her new man is a mess. I think in time it's gonna hit her and she'll realize she messed up when it's too late and i'm long gone. and I really hope that happens Yes, moving on coincides with healing and getting over someone. No she doesn't have to be looking back at all. She has someone new in her life now and she looks forward toward him, not backward toward you. She obviously likes him staying with him for 4 months. Do you remember what its like to have someone new in your life that you liked a lot? Were you looking back at how great your ex was? Or were thoughts of your new squeeze filling your head daily... She's got someone new now and he is where her thoughts are. Not you. Stop contacting her. You're not her friend. You want more and she does not. And trying to fool her into thinking you're her pal while hoping she starts feeling more for you again is not cool for you or her. All its gonna do is hurt you more and push her farther away every time you contact her. See my post here to understand the actual concept of NC. So yes, move on.. for real. Link to comment
relevart Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 ya but does "moving on" really mean being over someone? Moving on means just that, you move on from the past. It doesn't mean that you are over the someone or the relationship; but it's part of the process. Moving on is what your ex has done. she's got to be looking back and comparing how well I treated her and how I had my life together and how her new man is a mess. No, it doesn't. Because you don't know that any of this is true. Of course you think you treated her well. And maybe you did, but maybe she doesn't. And naturally you think the new guy is a mess, but it doesn't mean she thinks he's a mess or that he is, in fact, a mess. I think in time it's gonna hit her and she'll realize she messed up when it's too late and i'm long gone. and I really hope that happens Whatever. Link to comment
Clinton Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 She's moved on plain and simple. She not thinking back about her time with you. She's happy in her new relationship and glad you're over her(which you're not) For your sake cut contact. Faking friendship with someone you want to get back with never works. It leads to heartache. I feel for you but your only play is to really let go and move on. Link to comment
Betteralready Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Worst case scenario, this new guy is really better for her and you two are over for good. Best case scenario, you need to read this: If the link didn't work, find the thread about rebound relationships and reverse psychology. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Moving on means just that, you move on from the past. It doesn't mean that you are over the someone or the relationship; but it's part of the process. Moving on is what your ex has done. No, it doesn't. Because you don't know that any of this is true. Of course you think you treated her well. And maybe you did, but maybe she doesn't. And naturally you think the new guy is a mess, but it doesn't mean she thinks he's a mess or that he is, in fact, a mess. Whatever. Or maybe she felt you treated her "too" well....as in she felt suffocated by you. You need to pull back. If she's gonna miss you, and appreciate what you had together, she sure as hell isn't gonna be able to do that while you're still around...being her friend or anything else. You need to disappear from her life....it will give her a chance to miss you and maybe even appreciate what you had together. OR maybe not, but as it stands now, with you hanging around being her "friend," the only thing she will realize is how happy she is with her boyfriend!! In this case, absence "may" make the heart grow fonder but you will never know unless you walk away for good. Which means complete NO CONTACT... Link to comment
rainydays1 Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 thank you everyone. everyone seems to have all the answers while i'm still lost Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Then reread the answers. You are not lost...you are stuck in the mud of your own doing. She has moved on and is with someone else. That alone should let you know that your job is not to wait around, but to heal. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 You're lost because you refuse to take the necessary steps to find your way.. Ironically by disappeaing from her life..you will find your own. But you refuse to do that so you will stay *lost*. That's on you and no one else and it's weak. This is gonna sound harsh but dude you need to grow a pair and move the hell on. Respect yourself and stop being such a pansy. No woman will respect you including her if you don't respect yourself first. Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 thank you everyone. everyone seems to have all the answers while i'm still lost You've been provided with the necessary answers. You just choose not to acknowledge them out of denial, delusion, fear, etc. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 You've been provided with the necessary answers. You just choose not to acknowledge them out of denial, delusion, fear, etc. ...and weakness. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 ya but does "moving on" really mean being over someone? she's got to be looking back and comparing how well I treated her and how I had my life together and how her new man is a mess. I think in time it's gonna hit her and she'll realize she messed up when it's too late and i'm long gone. and I really hope that happens If you are talking about moving on emotionally then, yes, it means you are over someone. If you mean moving on to someone else then, no, it doesn't always mean you are over an ex. However, seeing as your ex has been in a relationship for the past 4 month and is talking to you more as a friend then I would say she has moved on emotionally as well as on with her life. Regardless of whether her new man is a mess or not, love is blind and if she is happy then there is no reason to assume she is looking back and comparing you to him. She is moving on and instead of trying to analyse exactly what that means to her, it would be in your best interests to move on emotionally too. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I can honestly tell you I have never compared my current bf to the one that came before hand. When you are in a new relationship... The last thing on your mind is the previous partner. Link to comment
chamachama Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 thank you everyone. everyone seems to have all the answers while i'm still lost What part of no contact makes you lost? Here read this if you are having issues with understanding NC Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.