opalmind Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I'm really bad at noticing the signs. I've been mutual friends with this guy for about a year and a half now, we didn't really used to see each other that much until recently. Our group of friends hang out together quite often now, maybe 3 days a week. Anyway every time we hangout he's always sat next to me, or at least one seat away from me, whenever I go out for a cigarette he'll come and stand outside with me even though he doesn't smoke himself. We have effortless conversations about anything and everything, and if there ever is a pause in the conversation it's a comfortable silence. Our group of friends hung out last night and towards the end of the night I started feeling really sleepy (I suffer from anemia and have been feeling really faint/dizzy lately). I leant on the table for a while and when I got up again he'd been looking at me..every time I put my head down he'd playfully tickle my back, or lightly nudge my nose with his knuckle in a cute way, it's hard to explain without it sounding weird haha. But it was like he was always looking for an excuse to touch me. 'Just a friend' wouldn't do that right? Or maybe I'm looking too much into it. Actually at one point in the night a random guy came over to us and asked if we were a couple and that he would be lucky to have me, so we must have looked/been acting like a couple but I miss these things. Me and a few of my friends including the guy I'm talking about now came back to my place after we'd been out and as we walked to my house we ended up being behind everyone else. He playfully threw a snowball at me but it ended up hitting my face lol and he kept apologising and asking to make it better somehow, and then he held my hands on the way home and up a steep part of the hill to my house he put his hands around my waist so that I wouldn't fall down in the snow. Once we got back to my house I put my legs in between his because we were both so cold and he was stroking them, not in a weird way but the word makes it sound weird, anyway yeah...and when I was resting my head on the table again he was tracing patterns in my hand and then he held it again even in front of my friends. Him and a few of my friends ended up staying over, but I slept in a room on my own and nothing else happened. My friends all seem to think that there's something going on between us, and that we like each other and I guess I like him but I'm not sure if he does? My friend thinks that he stayed over at my house because he wanted to get together with me but he didn't make a move, and I'm too shy to make one. Also the fact that he reluctantly admitted to one of my friends in front of me that he'd kissed a girl the night before, and he seemed to look to see my reaction. But I think he really likes that girl that he kissed because he's been speaking to her for a while all though she's just come out of a long term toxic relationship, and I know that he's most likely just going to be a rebound for her. We'd all been drinking, but he wasn't that drunk, and he sobered up by the end of the night. So I don't know if he was acting like that just because of the alcohol or not. I know that even trying to start anything him will be silly until this other girl is out of the picture, because I don't want to be messed around. But do you think there's a chance that he likes me back? Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I think your constant putting your head down of the table garnered his white knight impulse. He kissed another girl the night before...he was being concerned. Not romantic. Link to comment
opalmind Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 I only did it a handful of times through out the whole night bearing in mind I saw him from 8pm till 5am the following morning. I guess he was just being concerned then, but that doesn't explain all the other things, like randomly holding my hand etc. Then again he could just be being friendly and I'm over analysing it too much, I've just not liked a guy this much in a long while. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Someone putting their head down not only in private but in public...seems to need gentle handling. He hence held your hand and touched your back to guide you on the way home in the snow. You know he is interested in someone else. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 You'd do well to "playfully" let him know that his touching and playfulness is crossing platonic relationship boundaries. Then coyly walk away from him. Link to comment
Cinnamonx Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 How he's acting definitely seems to show he's interested (with the stroking, hand holding etc). Though I'd personally be worried about him possibly being a 'player', as he seems to be showing interest in you and another girl at the same time. Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 He's definitely not shy. If he's bold enough to touch you the way he has been, then he's bold enough to ask you out. What's the reason he's not? He's just not that into you. Sure, he probably thinks you're cute, but there are other girls he's rather make that effort with. He probably can see you have a crush on him and it feeds his ego to see the positive response he gets from you. I've been in your shoes. It's frustrating that he gives all the signs that he's interested, and yet never makes the move to ask you out. Don't let him play with you like he's a cat and your the toy he's batting around. Put your emotional energy and thoughts into a guy who thinks you're so wonderful that he wants to snap you up before anyone else does. Link to comment
opalmind Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 I wouldn't say he's incredibly out going. It's only like the past 2 times that I've seen him that he's been this bold towards me, last night was when I really noticed because he touched me so often. But it could be down to the alcohol that's giving him confidence (most likely is). I'm not expecting him to ask me out because we've only just started spending time together, but yeah I get that he likes this other girl more than me, it's just frustrating because she's just gotten out of a long term relationship and has just been keeping this guy as her back up. He probably has noticed, my friends kept teasing us both about how we were acting towards one another. But yeah I wasn't expecting much to come of it anyway, I was just wondering if my instincts were right. I'm certainly not going to become his back up plan in any case, after hearing that he'd kissed the other girl the night before he saw me I instantly acted cooler towards him, and I'm going to continue to do so. Link to comment
junebug123 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 He's definitely not shy. If he's bold enough to touch you the way he has been, then he's bold enough to ask you out. What's the reason he's not? He's just not that into you. Sure, he probably thinks you're cute, but there are other girls he's rather make that effort with. He probably can see you have a crush on him and it feeds his ego to see the positive response he gets from you. I've been in your shoes. It's frustrating that he gives all the signs that he's interested, and yet never makes the move to ask you out. Don't let him play with you like he's a cat and your the toy he's batting around. Put your emotional energy and thoughts into a guy who thinks you're so wonderful that he wants to snap you up before anyone else does. He spent the night at your place and didn't try to smash? OR make a move or anything. Meh. Link to comment
opalmind Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 I and my friends had the feeling that he would have done, but since there was about 10 other people in my house as well as us he didn't. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Hey opal- He could like you... but he could also be looking for a hookup. All of those things can indicate that someone likes you. However there a few things that stand out to me that may say otherwise. If he likes you and has been chatting with you for some time, then he shouldn't have kissed that other girl. He should have been putting that focus onto you. Secondly, he's been chattign with that who just came off a relationship. This could be an alarm. There is a good possibility that he did all of those things to flirt with you- with the intentions of hooking up with you. He could also be looking for some casual (hence talking to other girl). I would weigh everything out. How much flirting vs. how much he generally takes an interest in you, your likes, your life etc. Aside from all of that, if he's been showing more interest in this other girl, and now you, I might let this one pass. It could potentially save you some heartache down the road. Hope this helped! Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 What is wrong with you people. A guy shows a little maybe interest and you have him labelled as a player, or just looking for a piece. Really,?? Besides if he was a player he would have made is move long ago. Read the story again. Anyways, here in Canada a snowball to the face is a tell tale sign of affection. O.K. seriously. Touching is usually a good sign. Kissing another girl isn't. And Ms. Howe might be correct. He could be concerned. The reality is there is only one person who knows for sure. You can speculate, and we can speculate. A lot of good points in here to consider. Ultimately without risk you will never know. Or you can conclude he isn't and go about your life. Just don't play 'what if' if you move on without making some kind of move. Link to comment
opalmind Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 My friend actually told me later on today that she asked him if he liked me when I was in the kitchen of my house, and he looked at me and said 'of course I do' so I'm going to take that as a good sign. He kissed the other girl the night before he started to show any real interest in me so I can't really blame him for that. I think the next few times that we spend time together I'll just see how it goes and make a move if the opportunity arises so at least I know for sure, but if he's still in contact with this other girl then I'll leave it alone (obviously). Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 He is a At your house...did you think he would answer your friend with a "no"? Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 My friend actually told me later on today that she asked him if he liked me when I was in the kitchen of my house, and he looked at me and said 'of course I do' so I'm going to take that as a good sign. He kissed the other girl the night before he started to show any real interest in me so I can't really blame him for that. I think the next few times that we spend time together I'll just see how it goes and make a move if the opportunity arises so at least I know for sure, but if he's still in contact with this other girl then I'll leave it alone (obviously). The better question would have been "are you attracted...?" or "Do you want to date...?". I like my gal pals too. But I don't want to date them. Not trying to discourage you. Just trying to be realistic. Making a move isn't a bad idea. You will at least find out. Link to comment
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