Going on my first 'online' date soon

[Aeropro]

But no, it's not a date because she is a stranger. It's a "first meet" to see if there should be a date in the future. Please do not offer to pick her up - she is a stranger and she probably would feel uncomfortable riding in a car with a man she never met in person. I know you understand that. Be a gentleman by showing your manners in the way you would to meeting a complete stranger for the first time.

 

Thanks. Gameplan is to wish her a happy thanksgiving/confirm date for Sunday evening (the restaurant we were going to go to is actually closed on Sundays... so I'll have to let her know so we can plan to meet somewhere else)... and then re-confirm a few hours before the date on Sunday. Does that seem reasonable? =P

[Batya33]

Thanks. Gameplan is to wish her a happy thanksgiving/confirm date for Sunday evening (the restaurant we were going to go to is actually closed on Sundays... so I'll have to let her know so we can plan to meet somewhere else)... and then re-confirm a few hours before the date on Sunday. Does that seem reasonable? =P

 

No. I would simply text her Thanksgiving and tell her to contact you if her plans change or she is running late. Then leave it be.

[Aeropro]

No. I would simply text her Thanksgiving and tell her to contact you if her plans change or she is running late. Then leave it be.

 

I texted her and we ended up carrying a light conversation. I can tell she's excited which is great! I confirmed everything for Sunday @ 7 and wished her a happy Thanksgiving. She told me she can't wait and is looking forward to our date. I will confirm things with her a few hours before the date with a "Heading out soon! I'll see you at 7. =D" and then we'll see what happens.

 

Happy Thanksgiving guys! I'll keep you all updated.

[Batya33]

That's nice that she's enthusiastic about meeting you in person.

[Aeropro]

Happy Saturday guys! I had a great night with some friends and I received a call from my date unexpectedly. She said she was looking forward to tomorrow and we had a nice, flirty conversation. I could tell she was "feeling good" after a few drinks and I was too which broke the ice quite well. I think she is going through the same motions that I am with not wanting to come off clingy, but still wanting to express "Hey, I'm looking forward to the date!".

 

I'm feeling pretty confident going into tomorrow. Very relaxed. We jokingly sent one another goofy selfies and were both carefree for the night... obviously we still haven't met in person but I feel we know enough about one another to have a really good conversation in person. Talking on the phone is fantastic since you can gauge someone's personality whereas with text/emails you truly have no idea.

[Batya33]

Sounds good. I think your expectation should be that you will have a pleasant conversation with a person you have never met before. Period. Further expectations could make you unnecessarily nervous during the first meet.

[Aeropro]

Sounds good. I think your expectation should be that you will have a pleasant conversation with a person you have never met before. Period. Further expectations could make you unnecessarily nervous during the first meet.

 

That's really how I'm treating it; thanks for the advice! I'm obviously excited at the notion of moving forward with someone, and I know based on our profiles that we have a lot in common, but I'm more or less just looking to get to know this person as if I'm running into someone for the first time. If I don't feel a connection, then I don't feel a connection. If she doesn't feel a connection, she doesn't feel a connection. Since my break-up four months ago... I've never felt more like me again than I have in the last few weeks. I enjoy the things I used to enjoy again when I was single and I honestly don't have any expectations anymore. I'm extremely comfortable being alone again which will make for a stronger relationship once I find the right woman to share a life with. Maybe it's her, maybe it's not. This is the first toe into the pool to test the waters and it would be unfair to her to have quotas and expectations for the first meeting, haha. Either way I'll be fine and that thought makes me extremely relaxed going into tomorrow.

[Batya33]

That all sounds great! Hope you have fun meeting her!

[Aeropro]

The date went really well! It wasn't awkward at all and we had a great conversation. I kept my cool and just focused on getting to know and kept myself from looking beyond that. She kept dropping hints about future dates which I picked up on and I could tell she was quite shy with regards to being straight forward about wanting to see me again (which, honestly, I thought was kind of cute, haha). I walked her to her car and she texted me about 10 minutes later saying she had a lot of fun and wants to see me again soon (again I think she felt more comfortable being assertive over text rather than in person which I understand). We scheduled a date for Thursday night! I am not sure what we should do next... I definitely want to have a "do something" date rather than dinner again. I was thinking a movie, but being that it is only the second date I think something where we could talk may work better and we could save the movie for a third or fourth date assuming things go well. Also, we drove separately and I am curious as if I should offer to pick her up for our second date

 

What do you guys think? =D

[Batya33]

I would do some kind of combo of something active and a meal or dessert and yes you can offer to pick her up. Glad it went well! Enjoy!

[Aeropro]

I would do some kind of combo of something active and a meal or dessert and yes you can offer to pick her up. Glad it went well! Enjoy!

 

Thanks! I was pretty nervous as I sat there waiting for her, but as soon as she walked in and sat down I was at ease. Funny how that works, haha. Yeah I was thinking on the same wavelength as you. Something a bit 'different' and then dessert after to change things up. I am having a get together on Saturday with a bunch of friends, a 'new apartment' night of games/drinks, so I am thinking that can be our third "get together" as I would like to invite her. Plus, it will give her a chance to meet some of my friends.

[Batya33]

Well a little soon to meet friends (and are they the type that won't make silly/awkward comments?) but I think Thursday sounds good. Glad the first meet went smoothly!

[redsox22]

I'm glad your date went well. It's clear you are a thoughtful person and I'm sure she can see that.

[Aeropro]

I'm glad your date went well. It's clear you are a thoughtful person and I'm sure she can see that.

 

Thanks! ^_^

[Aeropro]

Well a little soon to meet friends (and are they the type that won't make silly/awkward comments?) but I think Thursday sounds good. Glad the first meet went smoothly!

 

My friends are all very mature so I know they wouldn't make her feel awkward/tease me about her. I would even encourage her to invite a few of her friends since it is going to be a Christmas-ish party with games/drinks, etc. I figure I should at least invite her, yeah? I guess I'll judge things after our second date.

[Batya33]

My friends are all very mature so I know they wouldn't make her feel awkward/tease me about her. I would even encourage her to invite a few of her friends since it is going to be a Christmas-ish party with games/drinks, etc. I figure I should at least invite her, yeah? I guess I'll judge things after our second date.

 

I think it is too soon but I have met friends that early on and it was ok.

[Aeropro]

I think it is too soon but I have met friends that early on and it was ok.

 

I will take your word for it, =). I should mention that my circle of friends consists of a lot of females/friend's girlfriends so it's not as if it's a "night out with the guys". Very excited for date #2! Still playing it cool, though.

[Aeropro]

So we agreed on Thursday night, but we haven't made concrete plans as to what we're doing and neither of us has initiated contact since we finished texting last night. Should I wait for her to initiate at this point? Or should I give it a day and text her tomorrow night with an idea of what to do on Thursday?

[Batya33]

So we agreed on Thursday night, but we haven't made concrete plans as to what we're doing and neither of us has initiated contact since we finished texting last night. Should I wait for her to initiate at this point? Or should I give it a day and text her tomorrow night with an idea of what to do on Thursday?

 

Why would you need to text every day? This is a person you have met once in your life. Call her and suggest a plan for Thursday -time and place. If she has other suggestions then discuss.

[Aeropro]

Why would you need to text every day? This is a person you have met once in your life. Call her and suggest a plan for Thursday -time and place. If she has other suggestions then discuss.

 

Just to be polite I suppose since we had a fun night. I will text her later this evening and set-up the date! =)

[Aeropro]

Update

 

So I texted her and she told me that she checked at work today and actually can't do Thursday night, but then asked if I was available Friday. I asked her what time worked for her and she said anytime after 5... so it would seem as if she wasn't just trying to blow me off I guess, haha. I can emphasize with her as I have things pop up all of the time, but I guess it is discouraging knowing it is between date #1 and date #2. I guess she could have just said "Actually I can't thursday rather than adding the "how about Friday?" which would have been bad news bears.

 

How should I go about this?

[BigKK]

I'm not sure what the problem is...do you have anything going on on Friday? If so, then find another day, if not, then go on the date.

 

 

I agree with keeping friends out of it, at least within the first few dates.

 

I met a girl I liked, on date #2 I met a bunch of her friends...hated them...never saw her again. I judged her based upon her friends, since I didn't have much more to go off of.

[Batya33]

Just make the plan for Friday. If it gets to be a pattern of somewhat flakiness you can reevaluate at that time.

[Aeropro]

I'm not sure what the problem is...do you have anything going on on Friday? If so, then find another day, if not, then go on the date.

 

 

I agree with keeping friends out of it, at least within the first few dates.

 

I met a girl I liked, on date #2 I met a bunch of her friends...hated them...never saw her again. I judged her based upon her friends, since I didn't have much more to go off of.

 

Just a flare from the burn that the last girl I briefly dated left, I suppose. We re-scheduled for a dinner/movie on Friday so it was a false alarm, haha. I really need to adjust to dating... all of my previous girlfriends I had known for awhile prior, etc. The whole meeting someone... and then dating instantly... is new terrain for me. Not to say it is unusual... just again my previous girlfriends were friends first without any romantic implications.

[Aeropro]

So everything is set for Friday. We will be doing a dinner/movie and I will be picking her up. We had a fun conversation on the phone and I am very excited as she seems as enthusiastic as I do about seeing one another again. I think my hesitance/lack of trust still stems from my break-up 4 months ago and the other girl I took out on a date last month who flaked on me. I have to put that all behind me which I have been doing for the most part. Gotta' keep on keepin' on. I'll keep everyone updated! Wish me luck (again)! =)