bugatti Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 We were together for 4,5 years and she broke up with me 2 months ago. I’m 25, she is 24. I begged and apologised after break up and I really regret that she decided to end our relationship. We never argued. Yes, we had some issues in past 6 months because she started at her first job, met some new people, became distant and she didn’t have enough time for us so I became jealous and clingy but once I realised where our relationship is going I started with changes. But, when she came back from her vacations (after 3 weeks)… she broke up with me so I was not able to show her my plans and changes. She gave me reason that I dragged her down and she missed some things in our relationship for long time and she don’t want them back. I understand her reason. Of course it was not just my fault and she contributed to the breakup as well as I. We ended it in good terms, she wanted to convert it to friends and see what we can build from friendship. When we met few weeks after brekup she looked like she is really happy, and I’m glad that she found joy in her life again. I tried the friends stuff for 1 week but then I realised that this is not a good way so I cut all contact with her and it’s maybe 3rd week of no contact. And finally, my question She is going to have thyroid treatment with radioiodine in the December. I offered her help regards this treatment after break up, but she ignored my offer and acted like she is fine (she is brave, but I think she is hiding her fear) which I completely understand. I still care about her and I really respect her and her decision. But I still have some weird feeling in my gut that I should contact her and ask her how the treatment is going… What do you think? Is it a good idea? I’m still really hurt from break up, but I’m slowly moving on… I don’t want to damage the respect I have for her with contacting her because of this treatment. Please let me know your opinions. Thanks. Link to comment
BigKK Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 She said she is fine and doesn't need your help, if you can't be friends with her then don't ask her how it's going...it's probably going fine. You should move on, she doesn't want you anymore. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Gotta agree with BigKK. Link to comment
bugatti Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 You're right. I can't be friends with her right now, because I still have feelings for her. Maybe sometimes in future. Link to comment
bugatti Posted November 17, 2014 Author Share Posted November 17, 2014 I just don't want to be rude to her, so that is the reason why I asked here. And thanks for your replies! Link to comment
BigKK Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Respecting her wishes is not rude. Maintain no contact, and you'll be fine. Gotta let the feelings die out! Link to comment
newguy887 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I started reading your post and I thought it was going to be another story of a guy who can't let go of his ex but it sounds to me as if you are on the right track since you were the one to initiate the "no contact". Don't just ask her about her thyroid just for the hell of it. If you are moving on with no contact then continue that. It sucks to hear this but you gotta move on. Start forcing yourself to talk to other girls. I've gone through this same thing before at the same age about two years ago. If she is going to come back to you it has to be on her own terms. You can't force love. You'll just push her farther away if you contact her. It's going to feel so damn good when you get over her though. PM me if you need to talk more or need more advice. Link to comment
bugatti Posted November 18, 2014 Author Share Posted November 18, 2014 Don't just ask her about her thyroid just for the hell of it. Sorry, but I don't understand this sentence (english is not my first language). Can you explain it maybe in some simpler way? I miss her, that is true. But I don't want her back, I'm not ready for getting her back right now... And of course, as you're saying - she can't be forced to come back. It's her choice and I have to do nothing with this. My intentions are not related to getting back together - I just wanted to ask her how she is doing after her treatment. Just to have peace on my mind. This is maybe silly - but I was thinking about that when I don't ask her how she is doing, she will be hurt. But she didn't ask me if I will be hurt after break up Yeah... her life is not my business anymore but I'm still thinking why is that. Why do I still care about her and her feelings when she hurt me? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 It's natural to still care about her, and she likely cares about you, too. It sounds as though she just wants to ensure that treatment of her illness can't be used as a platform for opening any more discussion of the relationship. The only surefire way to do that is to exclude you from the process. Head high, and move forward--you're doing great, even though it may not feel like it. Grief is your path to healing, and it does suck. Link to comment
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