DaisyHope Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 If a dumper messages asking how things are and asking pointless questions - it's pretty much breadcrumbs/trying to ease their conscience/boost their ego isn't it?? He's been the one who's reached out to me twice since, but it's nothing of any note. I had to reply to the first one, but he responded which I then didn't get back to. This is the first occasion I'm not going to respond as the questions don't require any answer and he can use his own initiative. I am not going to ease his conscience.... but is it right not to reply if I still want him back? Shouldn't I keep lines of communication open... but then how is that going to help ME get over this and heal? He's my drug and I'm addicted and want a fix!? He doesn't want me, he couldn't have loved me or he wouldn't have done this. He's moving on. Just horrible finally making these realisations and having to come to terms with them, and the fact he is NOT coming back, not now, and not ever.... even though I have people telling me I shouldn't give up hope but I need to accept it is over for now Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Yes, it is to relieve their conscience. No, you shouldn't respond....any more than you should take that one last shot of heroin for "old time sake". Yes, it is time to realize he isn't coming back. Yes, it is also time to realize that you WILL get over this and live to love again. Link to comment
chamachama Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Yes, it is to relieve their conscience. No, you shouldn't respond....any more than you should take that one last shot of heroin for "old time sake". Yes, it is time to realize he isn't coming back. Yes, it is also time to realize that you WILL get over this and live to love again. This^ Couldn't have said it better. Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 Yes, it is also time to realize that you WILL get over this and live to love again. Thank you - though this one above is slightly trickier, as whilst I know everyone says that time heals and you will meet someone else blah blah, I've been burnt so badly by the one by someone who genuinely treated me like a princess and was just amazing (and no the dumping wasn't good!!) that I really don't see how I'll be able to trust again, and I need to want to and I still love my ex, as even though he broke my heart and I guess doesn't love me, I'm not sure I can move on now, in a few weeks, months maybe a year or so. And I'm not being dramatic. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 The person you think you can't trust isn't someone in your future ---- it is you and your "picker". The unknown person in your future shouldn't be handed YOUR baggage with regard to trust. You will move on --- when you let go. Time itself does nothing if you harbor hope and obsess on the past. This board has innumberable people who are still pining over ex's from 5 years ago, and their ex is long gone, engaged or married. Don't be that person. The future has potential. The past has only memories. Link to comment
redswim30 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 you will move on --- when you let go. Time itself does nothing if you harbor hope and obsess on the past. This board has innumberable people who are still pining over ex's from 5 years ago, and their ex is long gone, engaged or married. Don't be that person. The future has potential. The past has only memories. ^well said. Link to comment
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