Please give me words of encouragement. Help.

[teeeg28]

Been single for around 6 months now out of a 4 1/2 year relationship. We were high school sweethearts since the first week of high school. She left me very sudden and it crushed my world. For the first 3 months we tried to be best friends still but I just couldn't handle it anymore. Things got bad for me. After that I went NC. A month and a half later and I started to do a lot better, but still thought of her everyday. At this point, her birthday rolled around and I sent a card saying "happy birthday, hope all is well, miss you." She immediately contacted me through text and we went back and fourth for a couple hours "catching up" and of course we both gave the typically "Im doing really well things are great" responses to each other. She was always fine after the break up (she never showed she was upset after she essentially acted like it was the best thing that has ever happened to her) so I believed her when she said that she was doing so well and such, as for me, Im just doing Okay, so yeah, I lied. After texting her for a couple hours I eventually ended the conversation because it felt so forced and fake that it just made me upset how something that was so great between us is now this bullsh*t, excuse my language. Its now about 3 weeks since that text conversation and I have been good but the past two days I have been in a weird funk of really missing her and wondering if she ever thinks of me as much as I think of her or if she is involved with other guys and is sexually active with others.

 

As you can tell my mind has been running and coming up with lots of things that kill me. I almost want to call her and just ask to see her to tell her I miss her and give her one of our old hugs. Also with christmas around the corner it makes me sad how she won't be with me. Also new years eve is right after so it kills me to think of her giving someone else a kiss.

 

Im asking for some words of encouragement. Usually Im the one to help others, but sometimes we all need our own push of encouragement. please help everyone, I need it more than anything.

[1a1a]

Go back to the no contact. You won't be able to enjoy friendly interaction with her until you have moved on.

 

Go visit your friends, call your mum, take up a new (social) hobby. Feast on life!

[SooSad33]

Hi Tee,

 

As mentioned above, for YOU to continue to work on your healing, etc, you need to remain No contact. If you don't it's just going to keep you back.

 

Yes, you had that 'meaningless convo' back a few weeks ago. So you know now, NOT to fall for the 'breadcrumbs'..

 

What you're experiencing right now is normal. We go thru these 'waves' of emotions over & over. Some days are okay.. other days really rough. It's difficult, yes.

You will pull through this. All in time.

[teeeg28]

I think I should get more involved socially with others. I will look into clubs at my university, Thank you 1a.

[teeeg28]

I appreciate your help SooSad. I guess I will just continue my journey back on the NC

[emz87]

I'm going through a gut wrenching difficult breakup myself and I can tell you now no contact is the best thing. I'd much rather forget my ex fella then be reminded of what we could've/did have.

[teeeg28]

I agree, but its the forgetting part that is difficult to achieve

[emz87]

Yeah I do understand, actually it's a little like the blind leading the blind if I try to help! um....well if nothing else, know that you're not the only one out there going through this incredible soul destroying immense pain because I am too. And I fully intend on getting past it so if I can you can

[silversoul]

Sorry about how you feel. It is a sad thing and I feel for you but it does get better in time, even though it feels like the pain will last forever. But it won't. So believe in this when you are down and experience/accept your emotions but know that the brighter days will come soon. Only you can make yourself feel better. Make some plans and goals, go after your dreams. *hug*