**DESPERATE NEED OF HELP!!!**

[ricci]

(this is long, but very important, plz gimme some advice!)

 

ok, where do i start? me and my girl have been goin out for almost 2 years now, like all relationships it has its ups and downs. There were alot of times where i thaught "shes the one" and alot of times which we had those silly break ups. Im not gonna make her look bad or only give u my side, but basically im a very overpossesive person with her, but thats ONLY because i cant handle the thaught of losing her, so the smallest things can trigger a reaction from me, and this is causing alot of arguments with us recently.

On xmas Eve i read a sms on her mobile phone which said "i really miss u, i cant wait for u 2 be mine". from a guy (obviously). this crushd my heart into billions of pieces, because as we all know, a guy wouldnt say stuff like that, unless the girls flirtin a bit 2. she had only known him for 1 week. I was unbelievably hurt so we broke up, then she came out with all the promises that she'll never speek 2 him again, and all that stuff. And i gave her the benefit of the doubt, and i took her back.

 

Its been....2/3 weeks now, and things r still a bit dodgy. Last nite, i found out he had contacted her again. She deleted a sms in her mobile phone before i could read it and claimed that he was askin for one of her friends numbers. I trusted her and i believed her.

 

But what she doesnt understand (correct me if im wrong) is.....

when a guy causes the biggest argument of your relationship and causes us to break up, and make her break my heart,.......how cud u possibly stay in contact with a person like that?

 

We've broken up now. about an hour ago. I dont want to break up wid her, but i dont see another choice, because im really not happy with the relationship, shes started university this year, whereas i start next year, and shes made alot of new friends, and her attitude to our relationship has changed a bit, i just feel like shes not the same way she used to be towards me. i used to be her everything just how she is mine. but thats all changed, or thats how it feels.

 

i cant really tell her how i feel, because we always end up getting into arguments because shes always trying to come up wid excuses for her actions and im always trying to justify mine.

 

Its a matter of trust and my insecurity, i already know that, i wanna make the relationship better, but its always ME doin the hardwork.

 

I just want help from anyone, just so i can save my relationship.

 

PLZ help.....GREATLY appreciated!!

[REALITYMAN]

she is obviously not as serious as you are in the future aspect of your relationship . if she was , she would respect you more rather than take chances being with a new guy . she seems too confident in that you will not break up and leave her . i think you need to meet with her and tell her straight out , what do you want ? do you want us and a future or do you want to play games ? if she really wants the relationship she will tell you and show you by her actions . you have to be a man and stand up for yourself . ok . keep in touch . good luck . r.m

[annie24]

well, I think I have to disagree with realityman. You sound really possesive, and that can be a major turn off. Why are you reading her SMS's? That's an invasion of privacy. She's talking to other guys, but you two aren't married!

 

i used to be her everything just how she is mine. but thats all changed, or thats how it feels.

 

It just doesn't sound healthy to be someone's everything. It sounds like she is going off to uni, meeting new people, but you're not doing the same. Plus, if you said that you're no longer happy in the relationship, then breaking up was the right thing. Just work on yourself for a while, maybe later, if the feelings are still there and you both have worked out your issues, maybe the timing will be right for a relationship again.

[enotjcalone]

You said you want to save your relationship. Have you really thought hard about this? What are the reasons you still want to be with her? You guys have broken up many times. Consider that maybe it really is time to break it off for good, and maybe you could date another girl that is more compatible with you? You could still be her friend if it works out. But if you really want to get back with her then call her up. Ask her if she genuinely wants to get back with you cuz you said her feelings might have changed a bit for you.

Even though your relationship is soo very important to you, you really can't grasp onto relationships too tightly. With any relationship you've gotta give it some slack. Stop being overpossessive it could only result in the opposite of what you want happening. 8)