Am I crazy?

[Fireone]

My girlfriend and I went through a stretch before we really committed to each other where she went out with another man. This was about two weeks ago. She told him that she doesn't want anything to do with him, however, he continues to text her and she texts back like they are good buddies. They do work together also. I feel like she is leading him on by continuing with the texting even though she has told him she's not interested. She does show me her texts, she is very open about that, I just don't think that texting him back whenever he texts is right- am I crazy? Do I just need to let it go?

A little more detail:

We have been dating for about 8 months fairly steady. I wasn't being very forthright as to our long term plans so about a month ago she started going out with this guy she works with. She told me they never got serious but they were spending a lot of time together and flirting pretty hard and she did say that she was initially trying to start a relationship with him. I know he likes her and she told me that he did try to kiss her but she told him no. There were a few things that she lied to me about that eventually came out. The fact that she started seeing him is what got me to realize how strongly I feel about her and she says she went out with him because she was confused about us. I realize she can't stop someone from texting but in my opinion she shouldn't text back or at least keep it to a very minimum. I'm not insanely jealous, she has other male friends it's just that this was a mutual attraction thing and every time he texts her it just drives me nuts. I hope this isn't too long-winded.

[Xylitol]

You are jealous and its your own fault that this is happening. A woman looks for a future, if you are going to give all kinds of insecure signals 'maby yes maby no, then they'll go try out other guys. Its as simple as that, hence the guy texting her.

 

If you want this stuff to stop, then you need to get steady with her. If you want a future with her that is. Just bring her to you and say that you want to have a serious conversation. That you want to be exclusive with her. This way, you give a clear signal that you don't allow anyone else in her life but you.

[itsallgrand]

Are you exclusive and together or not now?

 

If you are, seems like games to me.

 

If you are serious about her, why not have a conversation where you just put everything on the table? I want to be with you, I want us to be exclusive, I want us to put all the rocky beginning we had in the past and move on from that now. Are you ready and wanting that with me?

If she says yes....

 

Ok, then, let's talk about what kinds of expectations we have for being in a relationship together...

 

just clear it all up and then you won't have to wonder. She'll know, you'll know, what you expect of each other and what your boundaries are.

 

I don't think it's crazy you wouldn't want your gf texting with this guy. Sends the signal she is playing and isn't committed. Still leaving the other guy on deck.

[BigKK]

Dating for 8 months, without a real commitment, she starts to date someone else, THEN you committ to lock him out? I smell trouble on both ends.

[SooSad33]

Ask her is she wants to be serious. If yes, he should be removed, totally.

 

If you can't feel trust because of this, after a while, damage has already been done.