Found naked pictures of "real" girls on my boyfriends computer.

[Lonewing]

I wish I didn't, but I've seen too many guys swapping war stories, so to speak. Once the relationship is gone, you're just piece of porn.

[lerenard]

once the relationship is gone, you're just piece of porn. well that is just low, sorry. that is not a bro-code, that's d*ck code. men that respect themselves and their women, wont ever show her off as a piece of meat.

 

If OPs boyfriend has the same mentality - she should definitely dump him.

[Silverbirch]

well that is just low, sorry. that is not a bro-code, that's d*ck code. men that respect themselves and their women, wont ever show her off as a piece of meat.

 

Couldn't have said it better. THANK YOU.

[Silverbirch]

OP, I hope you can see from how this thread has developed that it is highly likely that your ex was projecting his guilt onto you, calling you insecure etc, because he is immature and isn't about to look at himself honestly. It won't be long, and you will be glad he us out of your life.

[Lonewing]

once the relationship is gone, you're just piece of porn. well that is just low, sorry. that is not a bro-code, that's d*ck code. men that respect themselves and their women, wont ever show her off as a piece of meat.

 

If OPs boyfriend has the same mentality - she should definitely dump him.

 

dic code, bro code, call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day your naked pictures are all over the internet and it's your reputation alone that has been hit by the aftermath of your own charity.

 

If more girls actually understood how guys use their pictures, I doubt there would be a nudie being made. Although there are the girls who have low self esteem and believe it's how girls keep boys excited about the relationship, and then there are the girls who have no qualms about selling out their own assets, so in those regards we'll always have internet porn...

 

If her ex-bf has the same mentality, which judging by his archive of pictures he's gathered from friends and himself I'd dare say he does, a break up is her least of worries, just hope he's not mean enough to go posting them anywhere or he forgets about them because of the next hotter thing.

 

When it comes to nudes, just don't do it!

[happy_snapper]

Somebody once said: If you want to send your boyfriend nudes, post them to the internet and send him a link. It's quicker.

[JayCho]

There were girls that were just flings that I definitely shared some pics with my buddies, but NEVER my girlfriends. I have tons of nudes from my most recent ex, even videos... and even though she broke up with me I still would never share them with anyone or post them on the internet. It's not just a piece of porn to me, it's a piece of my heart. If I didn't love her or never loved her, sure I could see your point. I still have some nudes of a girl I dated about 9 years ago, and I loved her and never once shared the nudes or posted them on the internet.

[PaintWithLight]

There were girls that were just flings that I definitely shared some pics with my buddies, but NEVER my girlfriends. I have tons of nudes from my most recent ex, even videos... and even though she broke up with me I still would never share them with anyone or post them on the internet. It's not just a piece of porn to me, it's a piece of my heart. If I didn't love her or never loved her, sure I could see your point. I still have some nudes of a girl I dated about 9 years ago, and I loved her and never once shared the nudes or posted them on the internet.

 

Why not just delete them? It is not a piece of your heart, those are intimate photos of her in a vulnerable situation. Have you asked either if it is okay for you to keep them for ever and ever? I am sure that both women would want them deleted now that the relationship has ended. You do not need to keep a trophy case of past conquests.

[JayCho]

I haven't even honestly looked at them since the break-ups, but I know I have them. It's not about conquests or anything like that. I don't sit there bragging to anyone that I have them, nor does anyone even know that I have them. I'm just saying that not all guys sit there and post pics or share pics of people they cared about with anyone/everyone just because someone broke their heart.

[Lonewing]

Why not just delete them? It is not a piece of your heart, those are intimate photos of her in a vulnerable situation. Have you asked either if it is okay for you to keep them for ever and ever? I am sure that both women would want them deleted now that the relationship has ended. You do not need to keep a trophy case of past conquests.

 

It's not a matter of needs, it's a matter of possession and wants. Key point to everybody out there, if you ever make to take something like this with somebody, assume they will save it forever.

[PaintWithLight]

It's not a matter of needs, it's a matter of possession and wants. Key point to everybody out there, if you ever make to take something like this with somebody, assume they will save it forever.

 

Not to hijack the thread but that kinda reads like a violation of trust. How do you view this as your possession now that the relationship is over? Intimate photos like this carry a great deal of vulnerability. Why not just delete so everyone is protected?

[JayCho]

As dumb as this will sound, and I welcome the flaming I will probably receive... it's not about possession with me either. These are moments I shared with someone I loved and part of me still loves them. These are special moments we had together, the same can be said about people who keep random mementos or cards from an ex. Just like the card has verbal unique written expressions of love, I feel like the pictures are an artistic expression of love. I have always been kinda a hoarder so maybe that ties into it? I haven't looked at them in years but I know I have them, same with a box of cards you might have. You can't bring yourself to throw them out and even though you don't care about looking at them you just have to hold onto em! Maybe that's just me though.

[Lonewing]

Not to hijack the thread but that kinda reads like a violation of trust. How do you view this as your possession now that the relationship is over? Intimate photos like this carry a great deal of vulnerability. Why not just delete so everyone is protected?

 

Because that's exactly what it is, it's possession of a physical image. The physical image was given, and now, it belongs to the person who holds it to do with it as they may decide to so see fit. And quite frankly, the only people we really care about protecting in this life is ourselves and maybe our families. That's it. Obligations these days mean so much less than perhaps they ever did.

 

They may not be legally have the rights for distribution, but then, take a real good look at the internet right now and tell me how many people are stopped by that legal proviso.

 

When you take nude pictures of yourself, you reduce yourself to the level of all the other nude girls on the internet.

 

It is a violation of trust, but it's a violation of the self trust we put in other people with our personal sensitive information. I'll put it another way, it's a violation of trust in something and someone who never even existed in the first place. You've know this person what, a month, two months, TWO WEEKS? And you believe there's a level of trust there where he actually CARES about you? That security you believed in when you gave that picture Never Existed In The First Place!

 

Take a good look at any archive of naked girls, like the archive on her ex-bf's computer, and take a real good long think about all this.

[PaintWithLight]

I was referring to the comment about keeping photos of ex-girlfriends from real life.

 

Getting back to the OP's question, she should be concerned the boyfriend did not just explain the pictures but instead tried to delete them in front of her.

[IAmFCA]

Just to keep it real:

 

I am a woman who has one selfie video, in the old sense of the slang "selfie", one pic of a man touching himself with his tongue, and two regular old penis pics. These collectively represent the photographic inspirations of two men, neither oh whom I am likely ever to again cross paths with much less date.

 

They all were sent by text, and were automatically replicated due to my phone set ups, and are between two and three years old, say. I don't ever pull them up, I've never bothered to delete them, and I don't expect to. I don't share them with anyone. But I did, once, over wine with old friends, and I felt mildly ashamed of myself as I did - which I then announced, and I was resoundingly dismissed as being a prude.

 

If someone found the pics among my electronic media, I would say simply, "I am sorry you came accross that. Those are really old."

 

I would offer to answer whatever questions he might have, amd leave it at that.

 

And no, I neither look at them nor desire to delete them. I suspect I have objectified them, so now they are like the shrunken heads saved by some primal tribe to signify past conquests. This is wrong, I know. I've no desire to change at present, and if one of my lifetime friends asked to see, I would show (if I can find them).

 

What lonewing described may be over the top; not sure everything ends up on the net. Deleting them is also not likely, or necessary.

[IAmFCA]

I was referring to the comment about keeping photos of ex-girlfriends from real life.

 

Getting back to the OP's question, she should be concerned the boyfriend did not just explain the pictures but instead tried to delete them in front of her.

 

Agree. What's to hide?