figures Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 My girlfriend of 4 years dumped me the day after my birthday 6/27. She moved out shortly thereafter. She is Brazilian and is living with another Brazilian lady and her boyfriend and two kids. A few days after she left she came over to get a few things she left behind when moving...and when she was here she asked if we could talk. Long story short...she wanted to keep having sex with me but not live with me anymore. She also said she wants to be single meaning she could have sex with other men besides me. She has come over a few times since then for sex and we don't discuss the past relationship much. We just keep it friendly but with sex. I'm think she could handle this arrangement know her...but I'm not confident I can. The sex is great and I still lover her but am holding up pretty well probably because I'm older and have been through a few breakup before this. Has anyone here ever successfully gone from live together lovers to just friends and buddies? I hope this is not to explicit for this forum but we are both swingers...so we have seen each other be sexual with other people before. So i don't think that will be an issue for either of us. The part that seems like it will be an issue for me is not being there...the knowing she is with other men...and always wondering about it. Please don't judge us...we are adults...but if you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate some input because I'm to close to the situation to think clearly right now. Thanks Link to comment
JayCho Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I don't know whether to be slightly jealous or empathize? Judgments aside, yes I have gone from living with a significant other to just friends then went back to living with her again only for her to leave again. Like you said, the main issue besides everything else is whether or not you will be able to place it out of your mind that she may be sleeping with other men. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 It sounds like FWB and nothing more. She's now an EX. If you don't want FWB and can't deal with it, then it's best to make a complete and clean break. Link to comment
Cynder Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 If you still love her it's going to cause you pain in the long run to still sleep with her. I would end it, personally. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Clean break. Go no contact. With what you are doing, you are just putting yourself in limbo -don't have her, can't move on either. Life is too short for that kind of a mess. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Read up on "compersion" which is something that people in the polyamorous world of relationships have to cope with at times. I think you'd get more relevant responses if you actually went on an alternate lifestyle forum board rather then a vanilla mostly monogamous thinking board such as this one. That being said: Your life, your choice but do be cognizant of the fact that since you still love her, you're going to have a hard time finding a woman that would want you unless like your ex gf/now FB don't put much thought into monogamous love or love making. Here's a couple of links to get you started on knowing about "compersion." link removed If you agree to be her human dildo, then you are not monogamously inclined and you'd be much better off not trying to be monogamous with some poor schumuck who fancies you and then cheating on her with your ex girlfriend now bed buddy. Good luck. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 sorry... seems the link I added didn't "take" here is the other one: link removed Link to comment
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