ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Sounds like this relationship is one-sided... you shouldnt have to pull teeth to hang out. or talk...how far away do you live from her? It's about a 30 minute drive for me. She doesn't drive. Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 I am working right now and I have this almost irresistible urge to text her and ask how she is. I think that I should stick with my plan and not contact her. She said that she will call me after dinner last night, so it is her responsibility to initiate contact now. I'm trying to somehow get her off my mind for now... Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I am right there with you. I texted mine last night before I went to bed. No response she worked at 14 hr day. Got a good morning at 7 am. said she was sorry it was a full day yesterday. she works in ICU 3 days str8. I want to tell her I am kid free tonight and how about i come over... she is working another 12 -13 shift now. I do not want to push her because we are on a little break...still dating just space is needed. I have not seen her since sunday and just want to before I get my kids for the next week.. We had a few text back and fourth this morning I want to ask.. but do not want to press her. I want her to ask me to come over Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 I am right there with you. I texted mine last night before I went to bed. No response she worked at 14 hr day. Got a good morning at 7 am. said she was sorry it was a full day yesterday. she works in ICU 3 days str8. I want to tell her I am kid free tonight and how about i come over... she is working another 12 -13 shift now. I do not want to push her because we are on a little break...still dating just space is needed. I have not seen her since sunday and just want to before I get my kids for the next week.. We had a few text back and fourth this morning I want to ask.. but do not want to press her. I want her to ask me to come over I wish you the best of luck! If you're like me you're having a hard time thinking of anything but her. Maybe I should text her a good day as well? Link to comment
dreamguy Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 No you shouldn't text her and I hope you haven't done that already. Did she call you after dinner last night ? According to your posts, she hasn't. I don't know if you understand what is being said (again, not to sound rude but you need a slap on the hand)... your fear of losing her is exactly what is going to cause you to lose her if you do not give her space. Get her out of your mind or she will be out of your life. Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 yes I think we both are Of course I just sent her one, telling her I can not wait to kiss her sweet lips someday... and now watching my phone for some type of response.... darn I am weak Link to comment
bulletproof Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I don't think that it is possible to make someone be a different person. I don't want her to be anyone but herself. All I want is for her to communicate clearly. Not promise that she'll call when she can't and make efforts to call whenever she can. I want her to not make commitments to me if she's not sure that she can make them and keep those that she does make. But that *is* wanting her to be different. She may just be someone who is unreliable or flaky. You want her to be someone who is reliable. That's wanting to change someone. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Both lax and man do you guys like walking on eggshells? its like you guys are puppies waiting for your owners to come home from work... Man..she went to dinner last night..she said she would call you after dinner right...idc how long does it take to say hi for like 5 mins even if she is tired..people who want things to work will make them work..she didnt have time to text or call this moring either? sorry if she doesnt have "time" in general how is she suppose to make time for you. Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 seems, like we are sad sacks.... I hate being weak You are right .... waiting like a puppy !! It is hard to find a way to be strong and man up Link to comment
dreamguy Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Not very hard, once you stand up for yourself you will like how it makes you feel and you will appear to be much more attractive to other potential women. But, you have to start somewhere ! Draw the line in the sand and tell yourself "enough is enough ! if she can't find 5 mins to call me back or reply to my message then what on earth am I still doing in this one sided relationship ?" Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 You are correct. She said yesterday that she misses me. I should just let her miss me. She will call or text when she is ready. It's possible that dinner ran late - she and her friend can easily get carried away into long conversations. She may not have gotten up yet today or whatever... Another factor that I didn't think of until now is that currently it's her time of the month. She gets extremely strong mood changes during that time. She also gets really strong cramps that some days prevent her from getting out of bed even. I'll give her space. Thank you for your encouragement. As far as being like a puppy... Maybe that's so. But aside from the one episode last Thursday I have never begged her for anything or pleaded for anything. "What you think is what you feel" I've been told. If I think that I need her and can't live without her then that's how I'll feel and will appear like the sad puppy. If I make myself believe that I'm strong, then I'll feel that way. I have no problem being strong willed in my professional life: I own a highly successful business and have learned how to deal with people. I need to work on transferring these qualities into my personal life. Link to comment
dreamguy Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 It doesn't count when she says she misses you but doesn't act accordingly. If I told you "I like you" then punched you in the face would you believe me ? Actions speak louder than words and somehow, for some reason, her actions do not reflect her words. Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 man there must be a club for us you said: "I have no problem being strong willed in my professional life: I own a highly successful business and have learned how to deal with people. I need to work on transferring these qualities into my personal life" I do not own a business I am exactly the same way. My GF sees that in me and just wants me to be he same in mine as well ... Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 It not all you though..thats what im trying to tell you...relationship needs both parties to work hard at it not just you..what if you partner at work made you do 90 percent of the work but still brough home the same amount of money..would you be happy with that? well you should not be happy about the relationship..the relationship is still hanging on one thread because you are allowing it to be that way...you have your personal issues with insecurities but man its not all your fault and if she cant change, then like i said before whats the point of working on it ..move on to someone who will respect you and want to be with you want to call you..want to miss you....its not about begging..i never said you were begging but your waiting around and her actions are still the same... Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 I am not ready to move on to someone else. Setting aside the fact that I'm in love with her, I obviously have issues to work out. I'll not call or text her for a while. When I finally do send a text, I'll make sure it's just an innocent "How are you?" and no mention of plans, etc. I'll let her bring up seeing each other. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I didnt say leave her but do you like living like this..obviously no because lets be honest this thread would of never been started..you shouldnt be afraid to bring up plans..be afraid to say like i miss you ...would i be able to see you tonight...things like that...it should also be returned..my gf and i both work probably 50-60 hours a week and yes somtimes its hard to see each other during the week...but we make it work..a few hours here..a few hours there... Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 OK. Now I feel torn between wanting to stick it out and not contact her until she does so first and texting her casually to ask about her plans for the weekend. If I say something like "Hey babe, I hope you're having a nice day. What are your plans for the weekend?" Will that seem like I'm being needy? Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 How about ---- "I am making plans for the weekend --- should I reserve some time for you, or are you booked". And then make plans. And don't be available last minute. Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 How about ---- "I am making plans for the weekend --- should I reserve some time for you, or are you booked". And then make plans. And don't be available last minute. Thanks. That sounds really formal though. I need to come up with a more lighthearted way to say that. How about "Hi, babe. I'm making some plans for the weekend. Would you like to do something together or are you going to be busy?" How does that sound? Link to comment
ManInLove Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 I sent it. Verbatim. Now I need to not fret and check my phone constantly. Here's where my anxiety really kicks in. I'm going to go to the gym, it always helps with anxiety and also takes up time. Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 i am right there with u brother.... the checking of the phone Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Guys....turn the phone off. If she calls, she can leave a vm. If she doesn't call....she can text or you will see "missed call". Stop being tethered to an object. Link to comment
laxdad Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 ugh..... need to find my backbone Link to comment
Flyer79 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 That's really unfortunate you couldn't hold out and not contact her. You will be a ball of nerves now and what if you don't hear from her at all, all weekend. You will be a mess! Take the advice, taking a step back does work. Trust us! If it can work for me, it should work for you! YOU CAN DO IT! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.