ChellyV Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I got married in the month of April to a 4 year boyfriend, on and off. All of the " off" times he broke up with me. As I was cleaning up closet space for my own clothes about 3 weeks ago, I chanced upon photos of him and an overseas gf that he broke up with me for in 2012. I also found out that we were technically together as he was still speaking with this girl, overseas. In January of 2013, he broke up with me to see this girl for the second time in a span of 2 years. But on the months that we were together, he was sending her money and gifts, along of course with conversations and love letters. It was a heartbreak finding that out. I confronted him about it, and I asked if he loved this woman, he said no. As I was crying a way bit too much, I decided to just stop, smoke a cigarette and have a glass of vodka. Never to speak of it again.....until today. This person is the one I love and prayed for. Although I am now married to him, there is a nagging question, does he truly love me or did he go on a panic that he might grow old by himself. Ridiculous thoughts, I know but I AM TRULY STRUGGLING WITH THE DEMONS OF KNOWING. I wish I never cleaned the closet... Help me..... For all your oldtimer ENAer's, yes he was the one that I started membership here with. The one I cried about through the years. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I am sorry for your pain. For what it may be worth...he chose you. He married you. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 If he broke up with her and he hasn't seen her or communicated with her in a long time, then she is just part of his past and you need to let it go. Although you do have a problem in that you just married a guy who has shown himself to not take fidelity too seriously in the past, so marriage may or may not settle him down. Don't live in the past. But recognize that he is who he is, the same person he always was, and you signed up for this. So you are going to have to live with a lot of uncertainty because of your history with him. If you feel you are getting into serious trouble over this (or he may be reverting to his cheating ways), then go to a marriage counselor to try to nip it in the bud. Link to comment
Lester Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 The past is the past when it's throw in the trash can. Did he offer to do that? What else did he say? Link to comment
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