OMG Another Mistake

[soosad]

Hi all.

I broke NC. I called the ex-fiance on christmas after finding out she was seeing somebody (only 2 months after break and could have even been while we were together didnt't tell her i know though). I know, what a stupid thing to do. I just felt like i had to do something. I just said I hope you have a merry christmas and that her nephew had phoned me on christmas eve, call me if ya want.

 

She called me back the next day telling me that she wasn't planning on even returning my call. She said she did only to tell me that that she is done feeling guilty and that she should have left me a long time ago. She said she is tired of my family and friends making her feel guilty (She called my father and my aunt weeks ago 1 time and all she said was that we needed this time apart and if we were to work out it would be only with our time apart. The only thing they did was offer to be there if she needed them and say they love her). She had no other contact with my family or friends since. I only told her in the past that many people have said that she has found someone else to walk out on our relationship like that.

 

She was very cold and angry. I told her that in most peoples eyes we had a great relationship and if i was the one who walked out it would be because i have met another or wanted to meet another. I pointed out that when she spoke to me after she had those converstaions she didn't feel that way and she acknowledged that my family understood and was being supportive. She then said well maybe you aunt understood.

 

It is a total 360 degree turn from our last conversation 8 days ago. She kept stressing like 4 times that shes done feeling guilty and that she hates that people think she is with someone else ( i didn't tell her that i know she was seeing someone, i just listened). She said why cant they think that maybe we just had problems and it didn't work out. I told her she should have no guilt or regrets and that i have no regrets. We will both be able to handle our next relationship incredibly because of this. I will always cherish the times we shared. I then asked about her family.

 

I told her that i want her to wake up with a smile everyday of her life and that i want her to be happy. She said i want good things for you too. We then made small talk.

 

I then told her that i enjoyed touching base with her and that if it was okay i would do the same in 2 weeks to a month. She then said as of now she didnt want to touch base with me but to call her in a month and maybe she may feel differently, maybe not.

 

I actually feel better i had always told her that it would be easier for me to accept if i knew she had someone else or wanted someone else, but she would always say she has no desire to be with anyone and doesnt have someone else. Strange how even though it is upsetting to know she is with someone that it makes me understand more.

 

What i have gotten from this is that most likely she did leave me for another person and the guilt has been so great inside of her she had to take it out on me blaming me and my family for it. She is trying to justify what she has done to me. It makes it easier for her to get angry and not deal with me then to deal with me and feel guilty. I could be wrong though.

 

All i did was tell her not to feel guilty have no regrets and wish her happiness through all that. Now that i think of it i don't regret it.

 

I dont know if i will call her in a month. I posted my story earlier here:

link removed

 

 

Did i do wrong? Any input would be greatly appeciated.

 

soosad

 

edited:

I forgot to add that during our conversation she said that our issues were not all my fault she was also at fault.

I still wish we were back together.

[Day_Walker]

I dont see anything wrong with what you did. Even though you did break NC, it seemed that you were able to handle the situation with your ex well. It doesnt seem important enough for you to call her in a month, you should think of it more as a gesture showing your maturity. Other than that you seemed to do well with a situation that could have been disasterous.