Spending Money on Wants vs Needs

[MJWasHere]

Lots of assumptions. I did ask him what she does. And then he responded. She doesn't do much.

 

Talk about an assumption.....he said she spends her time doing things that need to be done in the house. How do you know what/how much that entails? Even IF she doesn't do much, so what? Maybe that makes her happy. I think your speculation is based on your own negative opinions (or maybe jealousy or resentment) for those who don't work.

 

OP - After reading everything, and assuming she is as happy with the Relationship as you feel she is, all I can come up with is that she genuinely just doesn't think you "need" it, and that the "want" for it is unreasonable, and she just doesn't want you to part with the money.

 

It sounds like you have a really good marriage. I wouldn't let this come between you. Maybe talk to her about compromising and getting one down the road a bit, or look deep into how much you really want this, how happy it will make you - and decide whether to keep pressing and just buy it. Or ask her to better explain to you why she thinks its a bad idea. But if this truly is just an isolated incident, and she isn't controlling or micromanaging or passive aggressive....well then I wouldn't sacrifice a happy relationship over a gun!

 

I think if this is your biggest problem, you are doing pretty well!

[srssatellite]

Not looking to sacrifice anything for the sake of purchasing something for myself. I've asked for more clarity in her reasoning but the response is usually "it's just not needed" or "because I think it's a bad investment." I'll bring this up again sometime because it has been a while since the last argument over this.

[ExcitedtoSleep]

You have some work to do. How can one argue that it's a bad investment when it isn't an investment at all?

[Fractal]

You have some work to do. How can one argue that it's a bad investment when it isn't an investment at all?

 

It isn't an investment, it is an asset. An asset like a car that can be sold at a later point in time if needed. A car isn't an investment, it is an asset and also technically a liability due to costs associated with insurance/maintenance.

 

I knew it was a gun by your second post. Go ahead and buy it and take it home. Micromanaging money isn't a good idea in relationships, yes, you should be discussing big purchases, but you should also have a percentage of income that goes into a fun that you can blow on anything you desire.

[srssatellite]

Lots of stuff has been happening lately so I wasn't able to bring it back up to her. The one I was looking at has been sold so I'll just keep a look out for the next deal and bring it up then.

[Firiel]

Lots of stuff has been happening lately so I wasn't able to bring it back up to her. The one I was looking at has been sold so I'll just keep a look out for the next deal and bring it up then.

 

I think you should try to discuss it and resolve it before the next deal comes up. Like, come to an agreement about what an acceptable price may be.

[Lonewing]

This is how I feel about this whole situation...

 

 

 

How can one argue that it's a bad investment when it isn't an investment at all?

 

You would not say this if you actually understood the firearm market.

 

My hobby is similar to the firearm market in that if I needed money, I could get nearly everything I spent on the collection [if not more] back, and with relatively little trouble. Anything that is an asset is an investment - and in this case, it's an investment in personal happiness. Even if he sold it at a loss, then you could fix a dollar amount to the amount of happiness he was able to extract from that gun.

 

My collection is so big right now that even someone familiar with my collection would not notice if I added or subtracted even a handful of units to it...and with it entirely in storage due to moves and life changes [i'm in the service], it's not like they could see it all at once and see everything I have in the first place. So that is my solution to the "another one?" issue, if it ever comes up...

 

 

[srssatellite]

I think you should try to discuss it and resolve it before the next deal comes up. Like, come to an agreement about what an acceptable price may be.

I will definitely bring it up with her. The acceptable price is part of the argument. It's hard to agree to a price because it's subjective to each firearm. I tried cheap before and ended up with a POS so I sold it and paid extra for quality. Buy once cry once, lol.

 

Some refuse to pay more than $500 per gun and some will spend $1,500+ per gun. Sounds like a lot of money but it is something that will outlast the owner and retain over 80% of its value if it's kept in excellent condition. In the event of another political meltdown regarding gun control it could be possible to get back 200-300% of the original purchase price.

 

Fractal,

I do not consider many purchases to be more than assets because I do not buy with the intent to sell in the future. In the event I needed the money then I would sell, no questions asked. I do set aside a percentage of savings (income minus all monthly expenses) to spend on non-essentials.

 

Lonewing,

I LOL'd at that clip. It's honestly how I feel about many money debates that couples have, including my own.

[abitbroken]

If the budget allotted is $800 - then look for a firearm type where you could get one in great condition for that price, don't pull a "but i have to spend $3,000 for THIS type of firearm to get a good one. To someone who doesn't understand the hobby, it just looks like a bait and switch. Ditto if the agreed upon budget is $1500. Or buy a really great $500 gun you can flip for $800 and then use the extra money to buy what you really want. My bf has an expensive hobby and he buys things within his budget that he can flip with some minor refurbishing or looks for people who want to unload to to divorce or whatever. Then he flips for more and uses that extra to afford what he really wants without going over budget. He has had some things for a short time that aren't his ultimate thing, but uses them to get his ultimate thing with no impact on other budgets. This might be the way to go for you. You can create a very good budget for yourself for your hobby this way.

[srssatellite]

If the budget allotted is $800 - then look for a firearm type where you could get one in great condition for that price, don't pull a "but i have to spend $3,000 for THIS type of firearm to get a good one. To someone who doesn't understand the hobby, it just looks like a bait and switch. Ditto if the agreed upon budget is $1500. Or buy a really great $500 gun you can flip for $800 and then use the extra money to buy what you really want.

I wouldn't pull that kind of bait & switch, it's not in my nature. The available budget for firearm spending is way above $800 as well, but I still prefer to go for a deal instead of average retail price which is several hundred more. I'm not opposed to buying & flipping for profit if I could find a deal that had enough potential for a profit.

[abitbroken]

I wouldn't pull that kind of bait & switch, it's not in my nature. The available budget for firearm spending is way above $800 as well, but I still prefer to go for a deal instead of average retail price which is several hundred more. I'm not opposed to buying & flipping for profit if I could find a deal that had enough potential for a profit.

 

Yeah, I was just pulling an example number out of the air. If you can find a deal to flip - whether an immediate flip or hold it until the right person comes along, then use the extra from that flip or a couple flips to buy a better gun or buy several, she would probably come around. That way you are getting what you really not and it doesn't look like you are accumulating to accumulate. Have some part of your collection avaiable to sell if a rainy day happened or you will sell when you want the next deal

[srssatellite]

Long time since I last posted because I had some health problems crop up. Overall everything is resolved, just more of a wait and see approach for now.

 

In regards to my initial post, I still have not brought the issue up directly since so much was going on. However, recently she began to hint that I should go ahead with one of the firearms I want. So I went ahead and purchased it and was not met with an argument. It's not the one that this initial argument was about, but it's still one that I have been wanting. She feels there is a need for this one, plus I benefit from it! lol

 

abitbroken,

It could easily look like I'm merely accumulating. But she does agree with me in regards to bulk ammunition purchases since it will last us at least a couple of years. Our shooting intervals are sporadic so it would make sense to have more than a box or two available. In the event of a rainy day there wouldn't be any hesitation to sell anything I own, including my firearm collection.

 

I do realize that the issue is still unresolved but for now this is a step in the right direction. Thanks again to everyone for the responses and advice.