Charlotte12 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 My break up has officially reached three months. So many things have happened since then. I felt intense pain the first few weeks, I couldn't smile at all or have a conversation without crying at those times. I had a lot of anxiety and in the beginning I blamed myself a lot. I am no longer in that dark place...luckily I am a very positive person and I started doing things to feel better. Working out has been very very liberating. Walking too. Taking care of me in a positive way. I still have a lot of moments where it is hard to swallow everything that had happened. Of course I am still very dissapointed in my heart to feel that this person who was with me for so long couldn't care less now about me. I know I have to stop thinking about him and what he is doing...he certainly doesn't deserve it nor is thinking about me. I still haven't found a way to kick him out of my brain, I don't know why but I am trying. I am getting better, and I wanted to tell that to many people who has been or is in my place right now. I don't really know if it will be helpful for others or not...I just wanted to say what was going through my mind. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Sounds brilliant progress after 3 months. Link to comment
Charlotte12 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 Sounds brilliant progress after 3 months. I made progress...but some days I feel pretty devastated too. Having no contact after what I discovered was really really helpful. When there's someone else in the picture so soon after you broke up, it is very hurtful to see things. And even if there wouldn't be anyone around, keeping in touch just makes you obsess all the time. Plus, he doesn't want to speak to me so...I think that leaves no choice. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I made progress...but some days I feel pretty devastated too. Having no contact after what I discovered was really really helpful. When there's someone else in the picture so soon after you broke up, it is very hurtful to see things. And even if there wouldn't be anyone around, keeping in touch just makes you obsess all the time. Plus, he doesn't want to speak to me so...I think that leaves no choice. You do have your good and bad days and sometimes you feel you take one step and 3 back. Eventually you realise that you are better than you were at day one. I've had one big, bad break-up and one other significant one. I didn't handle either particularly well. Good luck. Link to comment
Charlotte12 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 You do have your good and bad days and sometimes you feel you take one step and 3 back. Eventually you realise that you are better than you were at day one. I've had one big, bad break-up and one other significant one. I didn't handle either particularly well. Good luck. Thank you so much. The only thing keeping me from getting better is that I am still hoping for a "sorry" or something. I still don't know how to let go...some days I miss him a lot. Link to comment
Beduldac Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 My break up has officially reached three months. So many things have happened since then. I felt intense pain the first few weeks, I couldn't smile at all or have a conversation without crying at those times. I had a lot of anxiety and in the beginning I blamed myself a lot. I am no longer in that dark place Sounds like you are doing much better My break up was three months ago, too. It takes a while to pull up, but it does happen. Link to comment
Clabs Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Hi Charlotte If you look back at your previous posts then you will begin to realise that you are doing really rather well actually, so well done you. This is a bit of a rollercoaster and you will still have down moments and of course unanswered questions pop into your head. The real answer is that there really isn't an ideal answer. When you are given an answer, it is seldom the one your mind wants to hear so you are more than likely left with even more questions than you had before and there you go - back to square one. Keep walking into the sunlight darling. As more time passes, those questions will become less and less important and the important milestone will be when you wake up laughing for wasting so much time thinking and worrying about someone who no longer thinks and worries about you. It is great to be in a loving relationship but remember that being single opens up all sorts of exciting opportunities for you that many coupled up or married friends would likely be jealous of. The chance to do what YOU want - to see who you want to see. Give it a bit more time, eh? Link to comment
Charlotte12 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Share Posted June 9, 2014 Yeah...I really don't care a lot about being single. I was happy in my relationship...he was a really caring person towards me so this kind of changed everything. I think if the relationship would have been awful, I wouldn't have such a hard time at letting go. I realize I am doing much better and being here at the forum has certainly helped a lot. Just like you said, I sometimes feel a bit like going back to square one...I am having a bad week, since it's been three months from our breakup today. The questions have been less and less but they still come and go. I may never answer them and it hurts a lot to know that. I am positive this will pass and I will get much better in time. I just wished things shouldn't have to end this way. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 " I still haven't found a way to kick him out of my brain, I don't know why but I am trying." No and you likely won't be able to because it has been so painful. A Loss can be somewhat distructive to one's heart & mind. We put a lot of time and effort into them and to lose it all can be sometimes, traumatic. Therefore, you are going to have him on your mind for a good while yet.... It can take months... to get him out of there. It's damaging & painful, so it'll take some time & work to remove it all and feel much 'better'. All takes time, that's all. Remember, it's same as a real 'loss', so we do go thru those many emotions & memories for a good while. We do feel so low, lonely, confused, angry etc. Keep going... And one thing I read here, once was ' We were okay before them, we'll be okay again, after them'. tc Link to comment
Charlotte12 Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Yeah, it will take a lot of time I guess. I know I will get better...it is just a hard thing to deal with. "We put a lot of time and effort into them and to lose it all can be sometimes, traumatic." This quote really identifies with what I am dealing right now. I put a lot of time, and LOVE into that relationship. The least I could expect is not to be thrown away after six years...but I guess that's a lot to ask, huh? Thank you for your support Your words mean a lot. Link to comment
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