I need a girls translation and a guys advice please

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Hey guys havent posted here in while, but if you read my story somehow Im doing a lot better.

 

Well I tried asking this girl out today and I just don’t what I did wrong or like what happened. If she was just totally not interested or I came off as a creep or I looked like a guy she didn’t want to go out with idk. But I went to the mall today with my mom, my cousin from Europe asked me to get some clothes to send to her. I went with my mom because well I didn’t want to spend my money on buying it also my moms getting old now so I like spending time with her when I can. Anyways this is how it went down. Im looking at these girl shorts and I ask this girl who worked there if she can help me find some sizes. We eye locked several times before that so I thought maybe I should give it a try, she was pretty damn cute. So says some stuff, and I make a joke about how they weren’t gonna fit me, and she laughed and I said its for my cousin. Then my mom came in and basically ed me and started asking her all these questions about the clothes there. So I left and and went to the guys to find some stuff for me. I found my chance and I asked her if she could help me find the price for some shorts because it had no tag. While she checking the price I thought lets do this right. So I asked her straight up, does she have a bf. She said no. Then I asked if she would like to go see a movie this weekend. Then she says that shes going out of town. So I say oh ok, what about next weekend. Then says maybe. So I tell her “let me get your number” and she says she cant give out her number while shes working. So I say ok and I ask for her name and she tells me then says sorry I gtg. I walk around for bit, and shes kinda following me a bit. But I kinda got a little upset and didn’t approach when I had another chance. After some time I found my last final chance. While shes folding some clothes I tell approach and ask her so why maybe, and she says I don’t know. I say “why you don’t know, because you don’t know me?” And she says I just don’t know, and I tell her well that’s why we exchange numbers so we can get to know to each other. Then some other worker came and told her some stuff about some clothes and I just gave up cuz like there was a bunch of workers around I felt like she was scared to look like she was not working. I walked away and said well Ill come back sometime, cuz I know where she works and like if I see her again maybe Ill approach her again. What I want to know is basically happened. Like I felt it, I mean she asked several times if I needed help and I thought I conversated with her well everytime. Was I too aggressive when I said “let me get your number”, I feel like I should have “CAN I have your number”. Was she actually interested because she maybe? Was she not at all because she said “I cant give my number out while Im working” (cuz Im sure she would given it to another guy that she was more interested in). Did she find me not interesting after seeing that I came in with my mom thinking that I was young or a loser cause I don’t have my own money or look like a mamas boy? What could I have done different, or said. Where did I go wrong? Should I still pursue sometime in the future knowing all these facts? Did I come off as a creep because of what I said. I don’t get it, like she was looking at me a lot. Like I honestly thought I might have chance with this one. I was hurt a bit but I got over it, but I just cant understand like what went wrong or what did I do wrong. I feel like I wasn’t smooth enough or something. Did I go too fast in asking her out. I didn’t even tell her my name because I was pretty much nervous the whole time. That’s 1/100 girls asked out so its just the beginning, but I would like to know what a womens translation is of what she said. Did she maybe because she was interested or because she wasn’t interested at all. Maybe she just looking at me because I was in the girls section, but she still did after I told her it was for my cousin. What could I have done better guys to be more smoother for next time? I thought she was really diggin me, did misread everything, again. Any opinion/suggestions/comments/crticisms are appreciated so I can be more prepared for next time.

[Ms Darcy]

Paragraphs please.

[missmarple]

When she said maybe for next weekend, you should have said ok, left it at that and just go back sometime next week and see if she was still interested. But, in any case, I think you went too fast. That girl was in her workplace and she saw you for the first time in her life. What I would have done is establish some connection, talk for a bit, then leave and go back some other day. Insisting about why don't you know and why this and why that was the worst thing you could do.

[jenny_mcs]

So I left and and went to the guys to find some stuff for me. I found my chance and I asked her if she could help me find the price for some shorts because it had no tag. While she checking the price I thought lets do this right. So I asked her straight up, does she have a bf. She said no. Then I asked if she would like to go see a movie this weekend.

 

Yeah. So you went, in probably like 5 seconds, from asking her to find the price on some shorts to asking her to see a movie. This is not the way women want to be approached.

 

First, it's very awkward to approach a woman while she's working, because she can't just blow you off if she isn't interested. Second, if you do approach a woman in the workplace, you need to chat and make some small talk/conversation. If she seems to be really into it (and again, it's hard to tell, because she's working) you could maybe ask for her number.

[lostgirl123]

she's not interested. maybe you're not her type and she's not attracted to you? when a girl says she's busy and then followed by a maybe for the week after, it means she doesn't want to see you. and yes, you were being aggressive and she was probably very annoyed.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

I know I was a complete idiot. Do you guys think that I should leave this alone, live and learn, take the rejection as a lesson? Or do you think I can still might have a chance with her and try again sometime if I saw her there again?

[RainyCoast]

I didn't even read the whole post, sorry. It's just because it became clear immediately after you straightforwardly asked whether she was taken or willing to go out-and continued to ask after she dodged the first bullet by "being out of town". That would've been too direct for me and I'd think it a bit creepy (is he desperate? Why does he keep insisting, can't he take a no? Is he a psycho? Is he one of those who keep coming here every day to ask me out and i'll never be rid of him?). When they don't give you their name, number or say they have to go you've clearly freaked them out. Just take it down a notch, sometimes less is better

Not with the same girl though, leave this girl alone or she'll really feel like she has a stalker.

It's okay, easy You'll get it next time!

[professorplum]

She is not interested and anything other than yes means no. Good for you for asking but it all sounded rather too full on especially when you wouldn't accept her first answer.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Thank you so much for your reply and for being not too criticizing about it I really appreciate it! Thanks guys so much for your input and a girls translation and opinion. I didnt realize until the time after that I was totally not smooth, and I totally freaked her out by being too direct, and also that I should have understood her answers. Im taking this as another lesson. Thank you all for your input. This was needed in order for me to get better, definitely gotten so much over my ex, and I realize me going back into the dating scene will be rough if not infantile lol but Iknow I can only get better thanks guys!

[Rosti87]

I had a similar situation where I worked. The guy was a bit more smooth about it but his body language was pushy. As a co-worker I found the whole experience imposing and overwhelming and asked to be moved to another side of the office. I think he does not read the 'signs' because he seemed totally clueless that my move would have anything to do what he imposed on me over a period of several weeks. When you are at work you try to be polite and not be rude when someone propositions you like that. By no means does it mean 'yes.'

 

Full on approaches like that especially at work is a total turn off.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Hey thanks =) Now I know =)

[RainyCoast]

Any progress Jagz?

Try thinking in terms of one step at a time; meaning think of places you frequent- a library, an internet cafe, a gym etc. Casually chat up a girl you've seen there more than once about something un-related to dating ("I can't find the philosophy section, would you know where that is?" "Have you tried their L-carnitine, is it worth it?" "Is it just this computer I'm using or does yours not open pages either?") if they answer coldly leave it at that. If they're friendly and smiling you can continue just a bit ("I hate it when that happens" "I used to be big on supplements but lately I get the feeling I get more out of just work out and diet" " or if it's the library philosophy section try a joke maybe : link removed ). If they don't seem eager drop it. If they do, you can chat some more but not too much- leave it for next time. Come back in three days etc and chat a few more lines. If you get to have this chat the third or second time suggest going for coffee. Leaving it casual helps you not come off as desperate and if at any point it seems like you freaked the girl out just tell her plainly "look, I haven't done this talking to women thing in a while and it appears i'm more than rusty. I don't want to scare women but i do. Do you have any tips about talking to them because i could really use some?". That ought to put her at ease, she'll likely laugh your clumsiness off and even if you don't score a date with her you'll probably get a few good tips.

Good luck, let us know

[BigKK]

The girl was nice to you since she is paid to be nice to everyone.

 

Firstly, a movie date, weak.. Should of asked for her number, and not about her relationship status and schedule.

 

Good job regardless, takes a pair, the more you do it, the better you will become.

 

I'd move on and go in a little more casually, after you build some rapport say something like "can I get your number I'd love to take you out/get to know you, whatever you're feeling

[Sportster2005]

Ten points for going for it. Deduct ten points for horrible execution and follow up. Never, insist, question or bug a woman who says no. Never, never, never.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Hey thanks for the tips! =D. Well I just decided to leave it alone maybe if I see her again in another place Ill talk to her again but for now Ill just take it as a lesson and learn what I can from it and be better prepared for next time. I always forget about the chitcat that I always just go for it, still crawling but Ill get there =)

[JagzOrDaFlash]

The girl was nice to you since she is paid to be nice to everyone.

 

Firstly, a movie date, weak.. Should of asked for her number, and not about her relationship status and schedule.

 

Good job regardless, takes a pair, the more you do it, the better you will become.

 

I'd move on and go in a little more casually, after you build some rapport say something like "can I get your number I'd love to take you out/get to know you, whatever you're feeling

 

Hey man thanks for the tough love haha. Yeah the movie date was pretty weak but I mean just working with what I got. And well I tried to get her number but I think I creeped her out enough to change her mind about it, guess I pretty much talked her out of it. And yes that's exactly what I was thinking what you said at the end, I'm always like face palm lol but yeah like you said practice practice practice =)

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Ten points for going for it. Deduct ten points for horrible execution and follow up. Never, insist, question or bug a woman who says no. Never, never, never.

 

lol thanks man =)