vix8 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I'm having a problem with sex right now. I'm with the man of my dreams, and I know this sounds weird, but it is what it is... I can't stand grown men's body hair. I know all men have it, and there's nothing I can do about it. My boyfriend shaves his chest hair and trims his facial hair. It's really hard to orgasm when I'm also focusing on the les on his face when he is going down on me, and some sex positions all I can feel is the les of his chest hair. It just doesn't feel good, it's like scratching me, and I just want a smooth touch so badly. It's very much a turn off for me and I just don't know. Like obviously he can't help it unless he waxes... I'm not going to tell him to wax lol. Plus he hates the way he looks without facial hair, and I admit it looks hotter on him. I'm 23, he's 22, so with all my past boyfriends I've never had this problem. They all had smooth hairless faces and bodies when we were all younger. I've been with a few older guys before, and remember hating the feeling of their bodies because of the hair les. Last guy I dated was 17 when I was 21, so I got the nice smoothness while it still lasts lol. Now I've accepted I'm older and bodies change. This guy is seriously everything I want in a guy, and beside the hair problem, sex is great... except I need to fight every time in my head to ignore the stubble. And I've told him about it too and he trims as short as he can for me, but it's still a problem. I'm also bisexual and I have no idea if that has anything to do with why this bothers me. I mean women feel smooth and we want smooth. Men feel rough and they want rough. Generally speaking anyways. It just seems like the opposite sex just clashes, even though at the same time we are like yin and yang. Is it just me, or does any other girl have this problem with hair on men? Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 If he grows his hair out, it won't be pri ckly. Yes, there will be hair, but it won't be pri ckly. Link to comment
lerenard Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 If you dated somebody who is 17 before, no surprise he had no hair. He was a boy! And you can`t date teenagers your whole life. There are men that don't grow much hair even in their adulthood, but if you are with the man of your dreams already - just ask him not to shave. Shaving is what makes it scratchy. When it grows out its soft to the touch. I personally LOVE the beard on my man. I am glad he has it. He has close to no hair on his chest and I am fine with it. The only thing I don't like is back and shoulder hair. But again - my BF doesn't have that problem, so I am happy. Link to comment
Ayanokōji Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Vix, not all men have bodily hair on their chest, arms etc... I have very smooth skin like a girls and only some slight hair on legs and some on the chin/upper lip and obviously under the arm pits and down there. My arms are smooth as silk and I get mocked for it all the time tbh lol... My point is, there are guys out there who fits the description that you like, if you are so turned off by bodily hair then why not go for the guys with smooth skin and a lot less bodily hair? Seems like a pretty easy decision, is bodily hair a deal breaker? If it is then break up and find someone who suits your preferences, if not then stick with him and make sure he doesn't scrape you with his sandpaper =P Link to comment
Iggles Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 My boyfriend shaves his chest hair and trims his facial hair. It's really hard to orgasm when I'm also focusing on the les on his face when he is going down on me, and some sex positions all I can feel is the les of his chest hair. It just doesn't feel good, it's like scratching me, and I just want a smooth touch so badly. It's very much a turn off for me and I just don't know. Last guy I dated was 17 when I was 21, so I got the nice smoothness while it still lasts lol. Now I've accepted I'm older and bodies change. Having more body hair is part of being a man. Post puberty increase body is a secondary sexual characteristic. Your current guy isn't going to be smooth unless he waxes. Shaving only stays smooth for half a day. Sounds like you should stick to dating women, boys, and men who just naturally have less hair since a hirsute man is a turn off for you. Link to comment
ALovingKitten Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Lots of athletes shave their body hair - swimmers, body builders etc date one of them? Most men won't shave it all off for you only for themselves if they want it off my ex wouldn't even trim his chest hair for me. Link to comment
tmtex Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I am 45. I remember when I was a kid or growing up in the 70's-80's all the ads had some guy with a hairy chest. Then there was the day of Burt Reynolds. I have a hairy chest(not to hairy) and from what I am told a nice happy trail down to the goods. I can see how back hair could be an issue, no I don't have that. I think its ridicules that guys today shave their whole body basically. Their arms and legs look like they shaved them, so stupid. Then you have to deal with the razor stubble. Speaking of shaving there is nothing worse with what seems to be a fad that's going to stay is women shaving their golden area. If your going to shave it then get it waxed or shave it everyday. That stuff down there can hurt the tool when down there. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 A light trim [to thin it out] isn't a bad idea, but otherwise, it's wasted time... Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I leave my chest hair, everything else can go. I have that old fashioned latino "men dont shave their chests" going on since forever, my chest hair isnt that bad though. Many women have tried to get me to shave and i tell them to date women if they want someone smooth. They just let it go. I remember one just kept bringing it up - i would get annoyed real fast. I did date a bisexual that also wanted me smooth - but again, no go for me. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 Sounds like you should stick to dating women, boys, and men who just naturally have less hair since a hirsute man is a turn off for you. Yup. I can't relate to your post at all. Body hair is a-ok with me. Actually it's a bonus. Link to comment
Lexy83 Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Well I always preferred guys that were not so hairy, but then 2 of my bf were really hairy and honestly, before I dated them I found excessive body hair a turn off. But then I fell in love and their body hair just didn't matter at all. My last ex was very hairy and he hated it... I couldn't care less though, I loved him for who he was... as long as he was trimmed down there Maybe it's something you can get used to... It would be the most reidiculous reason ever to stop dating someone because of his body hair... asking them to change for you is kind of nor right either though. You need to figure out if you can get used to it... Link to comment
quirky Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Never heard of this issue before. I am trying to understand but can't...I just can't see how would that bother you...just how..? O_o Link to comment
Lonewing Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 ... It's like those guys who can't be with a girl unless she shaves everything south of the eyebrows... They do exist. Link to comment
Iggles Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 ... It's like those guys who can't be with a girl unless she shaves everything south of the eyebrows... They do exist. That's pretty extreme (and indeed an on point analogy). Sounds like fetish to me, but people have their preferences... Link to comment
Gimpyrks Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Before I started to date my current boyfriend I always thought body hair was a turn off but it's actually not. I do much prefer a clean shaven face and short hair, but other than that it's a turn on, at least for the guy I'm with Link to comment
vix8 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 Well I always preferred guys that were not so hairy, but then 2 of my bf were really hairy and honestly, before I dated them I found excessive body hair a turn off. But then I fell in love and their body hair just didn't matter at all. My last ex was very hairy and he hated it... I couldn't care less though, I loved him for who he was... as long as he was trimmed down there Maybe it's something you can get used to... It would be the most reidiculous reason ever to stop dating someone because of his body hair... asking them to change for you is kind of nor right either though. You need to figure out if you can get used to it... Thank you! lol I DO NOT plan on leaving him over body hair, so I don't know why people are telling me that kind of stuff. Not cool. It's not even the sight of the hair that bothers me, it's the feeling. Sigh .. lol. I guess I'll get used to it eventually. Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Thank you! lol I DO NOT plan on leaving him over body hair, so I don't know why people are telling me that kind of stuff. Not cool. It's not even the sight of the hair that bothers me, it's the feeling. Sigh .. lol. I guess I'll get used to it eventually. Huh. This is new. Maybe you could reframe your feelings? Like instead of feeling like it's a bummer, see it as a quirk? Link to comment
Minilogue Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Come on who wants to be with a girl with armpit hair the size a tree and to have a huge bush down there covering their vagina. That's some nasty fetish if you ask me. It's naturally to want to be tidy, trim and terrific. I'd tell this guy to get a wax, trim his pubes and shave as often as he can. I know beards are the in thing at the moment fashion wise (god knows why) but if it turns you off I'm sure he will do those things like wax for you. I would do all those things if I was told I was too hairy and it was a turn off by a women. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Have you tried letting him grow the chest hair out? It's not ly if it's a bit longer. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Come on who wants to be with a girl with armpit hair the size a tree and to have a huge bush down there covering their vagina. That's some nasty fetish if you ask me. It's naturally to want to be tidy, trim and terrific. I don't think accepting the human body as it is naturally designed to be, without altering it (other than bathing and trimming hair and nails, which don't require painful and irritating compromises to the tissues), is really a "fetish." The whole waxing/shaving trend, which IS a trend (as you know, prior to the 90's, "bush" was just a natural part of sexuality for both sexes), is more the fetish. In the 70's, I used to look at my dad's Penthouse magazines and there were articles on how to trim your bush into odd shapes, and they were in "doing daring things" columns. I remember reading first-hand accounts of how partners would shave eachother to indulge in something "kinky." NO ONE waxed. Let alone as general upkeep, the way you brush your teeth. lol, "muff" came from the description of HAIR. It was a given. Removing body hair has become a cultural obsession. So everything else, if you've never grown up around hair being the "norm", looks gross, "nasty", etc. But it's just because you're sucked up in the trend. Leaving the hair alone is really the more natural default. "Fetish" implies something slightly unnatural -- so you've got it backasswards. For the OP, as others are saying, if he doesn't shave, the stubble and unpleasant sensations of touch will go away. Hair is usually fairly smooth, when it grows out. One reason I don't do a lot of shaving is because it's too high maintenance -- unless you do it very frequently, you'll be pric.kly all the time, and that's more unpleasant than anything else. The price of sandpaper is not worth it. When boys grow into men, hair is the result (in some races more than others, but still it's there). I do think that it would be hard to enjoy a heterosexual relationship, as a woman, with a man who was waxing his manliness off all the time. Fetish much? YAH. Of course, asking "who would want their partner to have hair/no hair" is just a silly question. Obviously, everyone who prefers that particular thing would. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Come on who wants to be with a girl with armpit hair the size a tree and to have a huge bush down there covering their vagina. That's some nasty fetish if you ask me. It's naturally to want to be tidy, trim and terrific. Actually, being hairless is pretty new and it's because of porn. Porn makers got better shots if the pornstars were hairless. It leaves nothing to the imagination. Find an old Penthouse and it's filled with lots and lots of bush. Link to comment
Minilogue Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 tiredofvampires tsk tsk I haven't sucked up a trend it is now the cultural norm to keep yourself trimmed at least sometimes shaved. Times change for the better you know. Actually, being hairless is pretty new and it's because of porn. Porn makers got better shots if the pornstars were hairless. It leaves nothing to the imagination. Find an old Penthouse and it's filled with lots and lots of bush. So what that was 40 years ago? That's a long time. You know we evolve every now and then. The norm has changed. Link to comment
Minilogue Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I like bush Ummm no thanks, a landing strip is cool, anything more pass... Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Times change for the better you know. If you're one of the people who thinks the change in question is an improvement, this statement is true. For everyone else, it's false. So what that was 40 years ago? That's a long time. And so if you doubt what I've said above, return to this post in another 20 years and tell me if the music you're loving today doesn't sound better than the music that'll be playing then. (Remember I said this, 'k? Remember me...) Stop asserting your opinions as though they're true for everyone. An opinion is like an arsehole : everyone has one. That's what a college shop teacher once told me, but that was back during the horse-drawn carriage times, so that might have changed, too. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.