jennylove Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Well, the guy that ive been dating over the past few weeks called it off. This is the guy who, in the tail end of his 30's, has never been in a relationship. He broke up with me because its a red flag to him that i dont have many friends, that my fb wall is bare, and that my fb pics are mainly selfies without any friends or family on them. I told him that i wish things were different for me, that i didnt live a typical teenage or 20somethings life. And now that im in my 30s and on track, i cant make friends. Its not that i act desperate, snotty or anything. Its just the women my age are crazy busy, or they treat me like an outcast since im not a mom or wife. And i could give u lots of examples of what i mean by this. Heck, even my own sister told me once that she is leery of anyone who isnt married or doesnt have a baby by 35, and then went on to say that her hubby doesnt ljke single people. Haha. Real nice huh? I could meet people if i had just one person to go out with. And ive tried going places solo. It gets old, and i just get alot of stares from people. Im decent looking. Anyone want to add me on fb and see what i look like and post nice things on my wall so ppl dont wonder wth? Im established. All my hard work from age 15-24 has paid off. I will be mortgage free within 3 years. Im very very very nice. Naturally nice. Im also a giver not a taker. I give up. I think my time on earth is purgatory. I can hardly take this loneleness and pain. So im back to square 1. Link to comment
stuka80 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 you seem to have your life in order and you're a good caring person, the right man will come, just live your life and put yourself out there dont settle just because you're lonely. I'm in my early 30s and kind of in the same boat as you relationship wise but i'm content being single and if the right woman comes along then great! As for friends, i know it's hard to make and keep friends in your 30s, i was lucky enough to have found good ones in my teens. Link to comment
Pisancho Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 You fit my perfect description the type of person i like. What is funny is that i will never meet a person like you. I am young and all and dont know a thing about life but if there is one thing i learnt from my 18 yrs on earth is that people are people, they will always be antisocial to anything out of the norm. Link to comment
solamente Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 i would not take what he said personally. he just wasn't feeling it and that was the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't sound totally awful. if you had a lot of friends and went out all the time he would have used that as the 'reason' -- that you didn't have enough time for him or something. when you are cooking with someone on all 4 burners, things like this really do not matter. you will build a social life together (or stay home together). i simply cannot see a guy being seriously concerned over the amount of friends a woman has or doesn't have. if he is, then *i* would be concerned about that! and if you really want to add FB friends, i will add you. just send me a PM with your link or something. Link to comment
BBBx3 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 That guy wasn't for you anyway. He was a freak himself never having a girlfriend and he breaks up with you over Facebook at that age ? You're just gonna have to try and make friends somewhere. Maybe work? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 It sounds like he finds any excuse to break up! That's why he's ever had a relationship. Regarding friends, may I suggest meetup groups or dance classes? I've met so many wonderful friends in dance classes, we go and have fun and laugh and talk. Married status unimportant! Link to comment
jennylove Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 I should add that i met him at a meetup group. So as u can see, i do somewhat put myself out there. I havent put an online dating ad up in a very long time for 2 reasons: the 3 dates that i went on from match were terrible. And lastly , when i clicked on the whose viewed my profile tab, i saw my boss, my 60 yo boss. I volunteer at a dog rescue place and there are alof of men there, but they have rings on. And i know that there is a chance that one of them has a single friend, however, we are all so busy at this shelter that we do not get a chance to talk much. Ive been there 2 years and we are lucky to know eachothers last names by now. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Sorry you had a disappointing experience. I found that I made many more women friends after age 35 -and I was single at the time. I first got married at 42. In fact I was part of a women's networking and support group for a couple of years and met people through there, through volunteer work, work, and through friends. Now that I'm a mom and a wife I'm still in touch with the majority of my single friends (one of them dumped me right after I had the baby) and have made several new friends as well -am now in my late 40s. I disagree with your sister's view and think it's very narrow minded and silly. I'm glad you're going to meetups and trying to make new friends. I would try the online sites again -I had fairly good luck on them -was on them 5 years on and off from my early-late 30s. Good luck! Link to comment
jennylove Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 I wish we had a womens networking group here Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I wish we had a womens networking group here You can start one or look for one - perhaps through a religious institution or maybe post something on the gym's bulletin board if you go to a gym. I didn't start mine. I say less wishing and even more doing - you seem to get the whole "have to be proactive to meet men/women" so just take it a little further. You're on the right track! Have you thought about moving to a larger city? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Start one!! I am serious! Link to comment
jennylove Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 I lived in chicago for a couple years and it wasnt for me. Id hate to move now anyway, my house is almost paid off and my mother isnt in the best health. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I bet if you do the research there are suggestions on line on how to run one, what to talk about, etc. It can be potluck at someone's house or meet at an inexpensive restaurant or a Starbucks or coffee shop at a not too busy time. Link to comment
jennylove Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Like a meetup for women?? I could i suppose. Link to comment
Liraele Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Have you tried joining any local clubs? Or doing volunteer work? Or going to a church/worship service? (UU churches love anyone, regardless of faith.) Do things that interest you and will also get you involved with other people who are like you. The Meetup site is a good one for finding local peeps who have the same hobbies. The plus side to any of these options is that no one is going to "look at you funny" just because you're solo. Meeting people is the point. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Like a meetup for women?? I could i suppose. Yes- come up with an interesting theme and don't meet at a bar or around alcohol IMO. Link to comment
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