A showdown? Advice needed

[duchesstigerlily]

My boyfriend and I are both really stubborn people and it seems like whenever we get mad we have these little showdowns where it seems as if we're both waiting for the other one to call first or email first.

 

Last night we had a huge fight over some really dumb things (honestly, I can truly say that I didnt start it...he way overreacted because I didnt want to go see a movie and he felt like I wasn't showing enthusiasm and so on). We see each other every night (and all weekends) without fail and so obviously last night we didnt see each other (although he did sit outside my place, in the parking lot, yelling at me on his cell phone before saying he was going home). Since I really dont feel as if I was at fault...how should I handle this? I want things to get back to normal and so on but should I wait and let him contact me first or should I send him a little email (not saying anything about last night but just a normal one asking how his day is going)??

 

It actually ticks me off that he hasn't sent me an email yet....and so really makes me not want to cave and send him one either...but maybe that would just make it worse. We have been together for over a year and are seriously talking about getting engaged and then married...we really love each other very much (I have no doubts about our commitment to each other) and so I just want things to be right again...however, I dont want to look like a pushover when clearly I didnt do anything wrong. Advice please!!!

[XxxMUAHxxX]

You know, I've been in the exact same position. To be honest, the best thing you can do is just work your way through it. Like you said, write him an email that you wanna have time alone tonight. And explain that you have something very important to talk to him about. Whenever you two are alone, explain that you feel like you two are too stubborn and you need to express your feelings more. I'm almost positive this will work..it worked for me...

[duchesstigerlily]

Oh we both know we are stubborn...he always says we have such a hard time with fights because we fight the same way...neither one of us wants to back down (its true!) I'm going to wait until after lunch and if he hasnt sent me anything then I'll just send him a quick one saying that I hope his day is going ok and so on

[justagirl20f]

Also maybe consider working on getting yourself a life of your own? Maybe you guys are fighting a lot because you're getting too much of one another. Start with just an evening or two, or a weekend every now and then where you're out doing things you love that don't involve him and see if that helps lighten up the load of nitpicky little bickering matches?

 

I love my BF with all my heart, but if I saw him every moment of free time I had to the exclusion of everything else I like doing, we'd both go nuts!

 

Good luck!