Does my ex want me back??

[LondonD]

I was with my ex for four years and we have a two year old son.

 

We broke up around two months ago but have maintained contact. This christmas we decided that my son would join her family on the other side of the country while I spent christmas with my family. I had the offer of spending Christmas at her parents.

 

My ex tells me she still loves mer and sees a future for us, however she keeps saying

 

''give me space and a chance to me miss you''

 

I told her I didn't want to lose you she replied ''your not losing me, I want you to bother but not so intensely, just give things time''

 

I love her so much and I want to get back together with her.

 

I've been invited to go and spend a few days at her mum and dads in-between Christmas and New Year and she has agreed to come on a date with me.

 

I'm full of panic as I feel like I'm losing her bit by bit.

 

We kissed before she left for Christmas.

 

I'm very confused, I don't know what she wants or what she means when she says ''she needs space''

 

Advice please?

 

Any ideas what she wants?

[Twidom]

She said give me time, you give her time.

[professorplum]

Impossible to answer the question Does my ex want me back but from what you have described there is clearly hope. You must not pressurise her or seem overly keen in my opinion. The woman of whom I am so fond commented in the summer that I was too intense and she 'doesn't do intense.' Interesting that the same word was used. It is so easy to cross the line when you want something so badly.

 

You don't say why you split in the first place and if this is part of the reason then even more reason to give her time. Be there but don't be this overpowering presence. If she wants time to miss you then give it to her. Easier said than done obviously.

 

If there is the plan for a date and time at her parents then try and stay calm and show her how nice it is to be together again. Be your natural charming self and try not to talk about the past or relationships unless she initiates it herself. At the end of this Christmas period be very careful about not trying to 'clinch the deal'. This could take months and even years and of course there is no guarantee of any success. The whole thing is tricky but if you can convince yourself you gave it your best shot and it still didn't work then although it is very sad, there is nothing to blame yourself for. Do not give her an excuse for ending it because you are too pushy. I am not saying you are because I have no idea, but it is something which I have been criticised for and it springs from a desire to be with that person so much. She needs her space at the moment to reflect and perhaps be on her own for a while. You have to grant that wish.

 

Good luck and keep us informed.

[LondonD]

We broke up due to many arguments. Awful things were said by both of use.

 

We have been on again off again and she feels friends and family see our relationship as a joke! She's scared of history repeating its self!

 

She is a law student and got relocated 200 miles away, I quit my job and joined her. Juggling law school, my full time career and a baby has taken its toll

[Ms Darcy]

If you were to get back together again, how do you know you won't go right back to arguing again?

[Romeo November]

I need space is distancing which is a sign of breaking up or it not working. Start moving on. Do not let her string you around.

[amipushy]

 

My ex tells me she still loves mer and sees a future for us, however she keeps saying ''give me space and a chance to me miss you''

 

I told her I didn't want to lose you she replied ''your not losing me, I want you to bother but not so intensely, just give things time''

 

I love her so much and I want to get back together with her.

 

Think seriously about the message behind this saying. I think it may be how she feels....

 

Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes one feel as you might when a drowning man holds unto you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.