What should i do?

[jennylove]

Recently broke up with a guy after a short relationship. We dated a short time but have known eachother for a long time. I ended it with him because he wasnt putting any effort in communicating with me. When i told him it isnt working out, he replied " ok". Its been a few weeks since it ended and i hadnt heard from him since, except now . He began texting me yesterday, asking what im up to, how work is going, etc. He was never this interested in my life while dating, so why is he now? I answered his questions with one word answers, such as "fine" or "great". And now this morning, he sent me a text that has a question mark and nothing else. I dont know what he means by that and i dont want to ask him. What id like is for him to leave me alone for a good year, and then maybe aftet a year, we can be friends. Should i tell him this? Its not that i miss him and have to be in nc to heal. I dont need to heal, but i just dont want to talk to him for awhile. Does this make sense? How should i tell him?

[mhowe]

Because you were putting in all the effort --- and now you are not. And NOW, he misses you. Not enough to do anything besides send punctuation texts, and

he is trying to get a response. Because your responses were one word...and he thought he could get you to crawl back.

 

Tell him nothing. Just stop responding. He will stop.

[mbee]

Yes, just stop responding. If he's had issues with communicating throughout your relationship then it's clear those issues wont be resolved after breaking up. It's clear he's trying to figure something out, misses you or some other reason that I can't possibly know. But it's a result of him being unable to vocalize his feelings. If you keep playing this game with responding briefly, then it will only lead to passive aggressive texts. Either don't respond or politely tell him that you still need some space.

[savignon]

I agree with don't respond at all. For all your effort while dating you got an "ok". Don't start putting any effort into the breakup...not worth it.

[Lucha]

Because you were putting in all the effort --- and now you are not. And NOW, he misses you. Not enough to do anything besides send punctuation texts, and

he is trying to get a response. Because your responses were one word...and he thought he could get you to crawl back.

 

Tell him nothing. Just stop responding. He will stop.

 

Helpful response.

 

I think he is indeed reaching out because you're pulling back. Push-pull. But he clearly doesn't miss you enough to send anything other than just '?'. Stick to NC. Only answer genuine sorry-texts. Or even better: don't answer them either. You don't owe him anything.

[jennylove]

He's definitely painted himself as being immature by his actions. What a waste of my time. I've known this guy for a long time and I would have never imagined him acting like this to me, especially since he's chased me for years. Anyway, I decided I wasn't going to stoop to his level, so I decided to block him.

 

I'm fine, but Grrr, I hate that I've given him the ego boost by blocking him.

 

Thank everyone for responding, hope everyone has purchased a Mega Millions ticket for tonight!!

[mhowe]

It isn't an ego boost for him to be blocked.

It is a loud statement from you saying "I am soooo over this crap".

[jennylove]

I told him that I was blocking him for my sake, and that maybe down the road in a few years we can be friends again.....his response was "ok".

[mhowe]

Yeah...well that was unnecessary.

Hopefully you will realize that you don't need friends like him in your life.

[Lucha]

I told him that I was blocking him for my sake, and that maybe down the road in a few years we can be friends again.....his response was "ok".

 

I would be soo frustrated getting such an indifferent response! I'd rather not let her/him know you're going no contact than getting an inconsiderate 'ok' message everytime you put your heart out. Very annoying.

[jennylove]

I just gave him the "friends line" to be nice. Done with him forever.

[mhowe]

Note to self: no need to be nice to people who treat you with indifference.

[jennylove]

Yes, very annoying. And hurtful. And anytime I brough up how hurtful it is to get those type of messages, he'd say I'm being dramatic.

[jennylove]

Yep, note to self.

[HeartGoesOn]

Silence speaks for itself, therefore by telling him that you're blocking him, is leaving a door open.

[mhowe]

Never understood that:

 

I am calling to tell you I'm not gonna call you. Or take your calls.

 

And when the response is "umm, OK" they get upset.

[jennylove]

Maybe I was secretly hoping that he'd straighten up and talk to me like an adult. I dunno. He doesn't care and now I finally realize this much. moving on.