Do unimportant lies matter?

[sweetpea4670]

I've always had some trust issues in my relationship with my boyfriend (18) of two years, but I've recently gotten a lot better about it and we don't have as many problems anymore. However, sometimes he tells stupid little unimportant lies about things that don't matter, but it bothers me a lot and I've told him that. He says that it's so small and unimportant that it doesn't matter to lie about those things, but that he would never lie about something important. He says that he doesn't know why he ends up lying to me if it's about something so stupid, but he says it just "comes out" and I don't understand why, if it's something THAT stupid, he can't just tell me the truth? I have trouble following hislogic, because once I know that someone is capable of lying to me, I start to doubt everything and I am afraid that I am losing the gains I have made with my trust and jealousy issues. Is he right in saying that it's okay to lie about something very unimportant? How should I deal with this?

[Blue Skittles]

If he has no trouble lying about the small things, then who's to say he won't have any trouble lying about bigger things?

 

Even him lying to you about small things is making you lose trust. Let him know that him lying to you is taking trust out of your relationship. Tell him how you feel. Just be careful - even if he says he would never lie about bigger things, he is still capable of it..

[fluffie]

I think lieing is a bit slack.

 

The best thing to do is avoid answering the topic so you dont have to lie and the person knows where they stand.

 

I think it does matter! Its childish and irresponsible. There is not point to mess around and it comes out in the wash.

 

Even if it is small who cares! Just get introuble for something small instead or the other person can get on with it if something needs to be done.

 

Good luck

[wanderer]

my ex had no trouble lying about little things. eventually she had no problems lying about big things, HUGE things like cheating on me and such. i never knew of any her of lies until after she dumped me though.

[atigdng]

Let him know that you won't be able to really trust him if he is lying like that, if he thinks that it is really un important he has flawed logic. Let him know that if he really wants your trust then stop lying.

[mahlina]

Listen to yourself about this. Put yourself in his shoes. If you were him, then why would you have to lie? What would the reasons be? Would be okay to lie? Of course not, right? Something sounds really shady here. His excuse sounds like b.s. to me. Lies are lies, period. If he can't be honest to you, and wants to be a weasle about things, then I would tell him to man up, and grow up! Otherwise, he doesn't deserve a sweet girl like you, someone else does. Someone who's at least man enough to treat you right.