Wife wants a divorce

[Moontiger]

TAF - Team around the family, CIN - children in need

My wife thinks it came from him entertaining his brother in a coffee shop but i thought it was from his bed because it has this side bar things to stop him coming out so i took them off just incase, almost 3 and 1 yr old, Nope they havent said anything to me as of yet even though i have told them im getting counselling and such oh they did say that is positive, i did attend the conference a plan was to be agreed upon which was attend courses and have monthly weigh ins for our oldest.

 

Ah, I miss read that part about the conference in your above post. I could call you case worker and get all the information you can about what is going on and what you need to do.

 

If your wife wants a divorce, well, there isn't a whole lot you can do. Concentrate on yourself for right now.

[John Mitchell]

Ah, I miss read that part about the conference in your above post. I could call you case worker and get all the information you can about what is going on and what you need to do.

 

If your wife wants a divorce, well, there isn't a whole lot you can do. Concentrate on yourself for right now.

 

i have been working on myself and she hasnt said anything about it to me so i dont truly think she wants to go though with it otherwise why not tell me and the case worker when i told her about what i was up to said she cant see me for two weeks and so far she hasnt responded to my calls.

[Cheetarah]

This whole story is strange.

[John Mitchell]

This whole story is strange.

 

Imagine how i feel about it all.

[Cheetarah]

There are some holes here. How was the case founded? Was it malnourishment with the youngest?

[John Mitchell]

There are some holes here. How was the case founded? Was it malnourishment with the youngest?

 

 

he was allergic to milk something they say isnt true and we didn't get much help with filling up his calories it was only about a week before the conference that we saw someone about it who said we can start to give him milk so up till then his weight had dropped to a certain point but then had stuck at a constant level and this is the oldest they had no problem with the youngest.

[Moontiger]

This whole story is strange.

 

I agree. I feel like there is something big we don't know.

[John Mitchell]

I agree. I feel like there is something big we don't know.

 

Nothing else has really happened in regards to social services they are the ones who originally said i was controlling but i came accross as that because i don't trust them and would put up a barrier something im trying not to do anymore with them, with me and my partner we were planning on renewing our vows next year and planning to save up for gender selection in a few years. also we had planned to move to australia as she was raised there till she was 6

[Cheetarah]

Much help how? He's 1, yes? he could have been on certain formula, soy or almond milk, etc if he has a cow's milk allergy.

 

It feels like you're leaving out very pertinent details.

[John Mitchell]

Much help how? He's 1, yes? he could have been on certain formula, soy or almond milk, etc if he has a cow's milk allergy.

 

It feels like you're leaving out very pertinent details.

 

not our 1 year old, they had issues with our 3 year old and his allergies are nuts coconut eggs and dust and animal fur also he was on wysoy which is a soya based one.

[Moontiger]

Nothing else has really happened in regards to social services they are the ones who originally said i was controlling but i came accross as that because i don't trust them and would put up a barrier something im trying not to do anymore with them, with me and my partner we were planning on renewing our vows next year and planning to save up for gender selection in a few years. also we had planned to move to australia as she was raised there till she was 6

 

My guess is that there is something you are not seeing because you are to close to the situation. Perhaps CPS is right and you are controlling.

[John Mitchell]

My guess is that there is something you are not seeing because you are to close to the situation. Perhaps CPS is right and you are controlling.

 

i dont see how i could be controlling my partner had more freedom then me, there probably is something else

[Edmund Exley]

Deleted after I read further

[John Mitchell]

Edited as was a reply to deleted post.

[Moontiger]

i dont see how i could be controlling my partner had more freedom then me, there probably is something else

 

That is how you see the situation. At least one outside observer saw it differently.

 

Your wife kicking you out

You trying to label her with a mental disorder

CPS getting involved

Them tell your wife to choose between you and the kids

Issues (one physical and one nutritional) found with both your children

 

All of this, added up, doesn't point to anything good. I honestly feel like there is something you just cannot see. What it is I don't know.

[John Mitchell]

That is how you see the situation. At least one outside observer saw it differently.

 

Your wife kicking you out

You trying to label her with a mental disorder

CPS getting involved

Them tell your wife to choose between you and the kids

Issues (one physical and one nutritional) found with both your children

 

All of this, added up, doesn't point to anything good. I honestly feel like there is something you just cannot see. What it is I don't know.

 

Social services had no issue with our youngest only our oldest they said that his percentile had dropped which is his weight and height on a scale basically , as i said the tying to label her was a big mistake i was just in shock about everything.

[Cheetarah]

In your previous thread you said social services told you you have to have supervised visitation. In this one you said you didn't.

 

Why do you need supervised visits? What is the reason?

[jenny_mcs]

Ugh, I went back and looked at the OP's previous thread. Two ENA members, based on a couple of posts from a distraught new poster, basically diagnosed his wife with a mental illness. SO IRRESPONSIBLE. One of the ENA members actually says " We either need to rule BPD in, or rule it out - then we can advise you from there"- as though she and the other member are qualified to make a diagnosis over the internet. So, this upset guy takes their "diagnosis" and runs with it.

 

It looks like there are a lot of other things going on here, and I agree with the posters on this thread who think there are pieces of this story missing.

 

But I hope this will give ENA members pause when they toss around these mental illness diagnoses. It is ridiculous and seems to be happening more and more on this site.

[Cheetarah]

I couldn't agree with you more, jenny.

[Tinkie9901]

As others have said there feels like there is some fundamental piece of information missing. If your social services are anything like they are in Australia they are very careful before making a decision to restrict access, or threaten to remove children from parental care. It's not something they do on a whim, it's carefully considered and usually a last resort. So if a parent is being told they must remove their partner from their home or risk losing their children to care it implies there is some serious cause for concern. And if your wife did choose the kids all credit to her, that's how a mother should react to protect her children. And labelling someone with a mental illness because they choose not to continue in a relationship with another person is hugely insulting. It's never easy to accept why someone doesn't want to be with you, but to decide they are mentally ill is outrageous. Having grown up with someone with BPD it's not something an unqualified person can diagnose, and certainly not over the internet where you only have the biased reporting of their actions.

 

If you want your children in your life as previous posters have said you need to be talking to social services and abiding by their decisions.

[HopsonMcGee]

I agree with everyone else. This story simply doesn't make any sense. When asked about the bruises to the child, the OP, as far as I could tell, chalked it up to an altercation between the two kids, or an injury stemming from a bedside implement. So then why was he kicked out of the house? Why was he labeled as "controlling?" Because he didn't trust the Gov't? Why not? If you have nothing to hide, why would you be so fearful? And which child sustained the injury, again? The one year old? How did this even come to their attention if the child isn't in school? If it was the three year old, then how could the one year old have possibly injured him in his supposed altercation? And then there's the thing with the milk, which is totally bizarre. So while they were on-scene, they also took note of apparent malnourishment? Did a doctor evaluate the child and make this determination or did this just kinda eyeball-it? Why are they siding with the mother? Why are you diagnosing her as BPD when it sounds like her actions are a result of Gov't command? Also, what country are you in? Is English your first language?

[Moontiger]

Post 41, the OP states that the issues were old with the older child. The milk things I SORT OF get. Many babies have a milk allergy (my nieces and nephews all had this) that causes digestive issues. BUT I find it bizarre that they waited until the child was three (and only after CPS said something to them) to re-introduced into his diet.

 

Everything else seems very weird.

[Cheetarah]

Yes, the milk allergy makes sense. But I don't see how that prohibited them from meeting his caloric needs to the point where it caused concern enough to be evaluated and now requiring monthly weigh-ins.

 

And my mind is so blown that in his other thread, the focus was so deep on the wife and her alleged mental illness, that no one really bothered to gather detail about why social services were involved to begin with, why parenting classes were mandated, etc. And then to suggest telling social services in a letter that he believes his wife is suffering from a personality disorder. GOOD GOD. Talk about irresponsible.

[Edmund Exley]

Yes, the milk allergy makes sense. But I don't see how that prohibited them from meeting his caloric needs to the point where it caused concern enough to be evaluated and now requiring monthly weigh-ins.

 

And my mind is so blown that in his other thread, the focus was so deep on the wife and her alleged mental illness, that no one really bothered to gather detail about why social services were involved to begin with, why parenting classes were mandated, etc. And then to suggest telling social services in a letter that he believes his wife is suffering from a personality disorder. GOOD GOD. Talk about irresponsible.

 

You'll notice a trend on this site if you haven't already. People like to blame being dumped on their ex being "bipolar" and as such there is a lot of "self proclaimed experts" on mental disorders running around here. The mods, and long time posters like myself" usually try to nip it in the bud early.

[Cheetarah]

You'll notice a trend on this site if you haven't already. People like to blame being dumped on their ex being "bipolar" and as such there is a lot of "self proclaimed experts" on mental disorders running around here. The mods, and long time posters like myself" usually try to nip it in the bud early.

 

Oh sure, I have seen it. And I don't think it's all that strange to speculate a little(i do stress a little). Pretty common, cognitive dissonance and all that post break up. Or even just some really confusing toxic stuff that goes on that someone wants to slap a name on.

 

I don't think I've ever seen it to that degree, though. Usually it's brought up, poster is redirected, all is well in the world. But...that was just downright horrifying. Especially considering this op had the awareness to say he was just trying to make her out to be nuts because he couldn't accept it(not much else made sense, but that did...heh).