I did it! My ex finally asked me back!

[popo]

Hi all,

 

I wanna share to you all that finally, after 3 months trying to heal, my ex ask me back!! I feel like i get my happiness back, moreover, my life back and release the burden.

I really thank God that i found this site before i fell too much further. i did all the mistakes after he rejected me. My best friend told me that i should stop contacting him long before the break up, but i refused to do that for plenty of reasons ; we used to solve our prob together, i should talk with him coz i knew he would understand, etc. Thought she didnt understand my situation but i was wrong. we were in condition where we couldnt talk nicely so ended up with.. of course, break up.

After the break, i still called him, sent him e-mails, etc though my friend told me not to, till i found this site. i finally understand how NC works.

I guess i'm one of 'succes product' of NC. I notice some of you apply it, some of you dont. It doesnt matter which one you choose as long as it can make you feel better. this is the reason why we are here right?

I find NC work for my case coz ive tried the others and it just pushed him away. he even didnt want to talk with me again!

Doing NC needs a lot of patient. traveling helps a lot. but trust this, our exes will contact us soon or later. this thought made me strong not to initiate the contact. if we had a special relationship in the past, they will certainly miss us! when they call, answer it with confidence, dignity, respect, and good manner, they will see the one they have loved. next, when we can show them how we can be happy without them (at least pretend to), they will wonder what they've lost (human's ego). then, keep our love life misterious, they will suddenly panic coz the fear that they can lose us in any moment. finally, they ask us back.

But, still the best way to get healed is trying to move on and protect our self from being hurt more.

 

 

if you have question feel free to pm me

[sasha12]

Congrats! I hope things go well for you.

[popo]

thank you sasha!

one thing, I want to thank you all for helping me through the hardest moment in my life. And muneca, you're the best!

[sasha12]

muneca is great! she helped me out alot also!

[shockeddismayed]

popo,

 

That is great news. Congratulations!!!

 

I wish you great luck working things out.... remember.... "working" is the operative word here. Now is the time to put into practice everything you've learned. This will require good communication, understanding, TRUST, and most importantly, keeping your healthy, independent attitude. You will need this attitude to combat any insecurities that he caused by breaking up with you... and to "give" to the reconciliation without "giving in".

 

Now is the time to set your relationship up on the solid ground that will allow it to grow in the future.

 

Good luck!!!

[MrLonely]

Congrats

 

I'm going through a breakup here now, it's been three weeks, and i havn't talkted to her since. It was very sudden and she told me that we are finished for good.

 

Just wondering, did you guys end on final terms?

[cassiana]

Congratulations. can I rub my cursor on your icon for good luck?

[Phoenix Down]

Yeah me too I'm very happy for you. Wish the rest of us luck. PD

[iceesnowbubble]

I am really happy to see ya another success story on here. They aren't plenitful..but they do happen. Great job PoPo..rememeber, the relationship is still going to need work so don't get too comfortable, but keep us all updated. Goodluck.

[twiggs]

I wish you the best popo!!!!

[popo]

Thank you all for the supports! I really appreciate it

 

I think that we're going to be a lot more carefull this time. We know how it feels of losing each other. And surely, we cant help losing each other all over again. I learn a lot from our break up. It hurts a lot, but i take it from the bright side. Maybe we should through this to be a solid couple.

 

Mr Lonely, dont worry, people tend to change their mind. what they cant change is their feeling.

[twiggs]

popo, how long did the whole process take? And did your ex have a girlfriend after you?

[popo]

twiggs,

 

We broke up 3 months ago. In the 1st 3 weeks after the break, it was always me who initiated the convo till he cut all the contact off.

He told me about his other girl, and convinced me that i should find other boy also. I didnt ask more about his relation with this girl. i was so afraid to talk about it. moreover, i became too afraid to talk with him. afraid that he would bring up his love life that only made me more devastated.

maybe that's why i can stand doing NC

[cassiana]

So you initiated contact to begin with until he cut you off?

So how was contact re-established?

[popo]

cassiana,

 

He PMed me a week after i thought he didnt want to talk with me again. still cold though.

[cassiana]

Your reply must have been what made him think again. How did you react?

[popo]

cassiana,

 

yes, sure! that time i already found this site

so i answered his questions short and finished the convo 1st. That was the 1st time i was able to finish it 1st!!

Before that, i was acting like his annoying gf. so, yes, i think he saw the difference.

[cassiana]

You seem to be proof that the tactics here work. I've done my best to follow them but so far all we do is emailk which i'm going to stop for awhile. Congratulations and thanks, you have given me hope.

Did you set terms when he asked you back?

[popo]

no i didnt. All i wanted for the past 3 months was him asked me back and it happened. as for the others, i'll ask him slowly.

but all i want for now is to enjoy our hard work during the break up. It's not easy for him also to swallow his pride and ask me back.

[cassiana]

Its just that when my ex dumped me he didn't seem to think I had any feelings. If I took him back joyfully without acknowledging the hurt he had caused me I would be afraid he would do it to me again. I would love to take him back and say nothing but i'm afraid that that would be the wrong thing to do. Not that its a problem for me at the moment sadly.

[popo]

cassiana,

 

no, i dont think that he doesnt know that. He does know coz he's hurt also. dont take him right away, then see how he react. you'll know that he's also suffered during the break up.

[littlelaxer]

hey im very happy that all this finally happened to someone!!!

 

how long were u two together before ur break up?

and did he just call u one day and express himself that he missed you?/what lead to him showing you that he wanted u back?

[kipster]

muneca is great! she helped me out alot also!

 

Yes, she's one of the true gems on this site. A very insightful woman with a wealth of knowledge on relationships. Can't say enough positive things about her and her sound advice.

 

Kip

[popo]

hey im very happy that all this finally happened to someone!!!

 

Thank you!

 

how long were u two together before ur break up?

 

8 months

 

and did he just call u one day and express himself that he missed you?/what lead to him showing you that he wanted u back?

 

Nope, i disappeared for more than 3 weeks, accidentally, coz suddenly i had to go to out of town. Then when we finally can talk again (initiated by him), he showed that he missed me though not by words but i trusted my instinc.

 

I guess what led him was that i was not always availabe when he wanted to talk with me. I guess it made him afraid of losing me at any time and appreciate more every single convo that we had.

[cassiana]

I suppose I find it hard to believe that the person who does the dumping hurts at all. Surely they want to dump you and feel relief when its over. That's how I've felt whenever I've dumped someone. If I wasn't sure I hung on until I was sure. I never dumped anyone lightly and never regretted the decision. Even though I want t, I find it hard to understand the concept of unthinkingly dumping someone hurting because you did and then later regretting the decision even though you were cold to them as you dumped them. I just don't understand that line of thinking.