twiggs

Oh, I agree. But the only thing i can hope for is that she misses me, by not seeing me. Remember I went 2 months NC, and she would try and break it, but i wouldnt answer. If i have to go another 2 months than so be it. But also this. I love this women w/ everything i have and i want her to be happy. If her being happy means that she is with someone else than i have to live with that. Now if her being happy means being with me, i will do everything in my god given power to make that work, If someone really loves you than they would do anything to be with you. The other day she broke every code of break up and came to my house where she knows she isnt welcome on a everyday basis. I see were you guys are coming from. But something made her come see me, and something made her act the way she did. I just need to let time handle the situation now.

So, go back to NC. Its gotta be done. Than I gotta do it. Thank you.

Hey, thanks guys. Which ones are her real feelings, the ones she had while with me and afterwards, or the ones she had the next day?

Well I had NC for 2 months, many know my story. Well, I sent flowers for x-mas. Told her pn the card I missed her and have a great x-mas. That night she called and asked why i sent the flowers. I said read the card. We chatted for a bit and i ended the conversation. Next day she came to my house and asked if we could talk. We drove to a place, parked and talked. She gave me a hug and we ended up hugging for 10 minutes. She was crying saying how sorry she was, she said she loved me and missed me. She took me home, cryed more, we talked about why she split up with me. She left my house went to her friends and was a wreck. Well 2 days later she writes me a text messege saying she doesnt think she should have come over, and woundered if she gave me any "ideas",I wrote back and said call me, she replied "cant" . She has had a boyfriend ever since we split up. My question is, what the hell just happened, she pulled a complete 360 in less than 48 hours? Need the advice

hmmm...well NC is still in place, and will continue to be in place. I honestly hope your wrong, but i feel as though your right. Everyone who has responded is right in some asspect. Best thing to do is NC, dont answer calls, or number the calls you do answer. Than hopefully they will see what their missing. I'll keep in touch

thanks for the advice guys. One thing that helps me is i work nights, so if she does call im not there to answer the cell. I have no idea if she still is in the relationship, she has apologised to me and to me through my buddy for getting in a relationship so soon, which is bull. I agree if she wants to be with me, she will let it be known. After i stopped accepting her calls, she finally left a messege saying hello call me if you'd like, next day she left another messege " I really need to talk to you, please call me" Well i didnt call and the next day she called again, I answered and she said she "misses talking to me" as i stated before. Is that a hoax, or is she uncertain and just trying to hold me on till she decides, or if it doesnt work?

Hey S&D. i Aprreciate the advice. Can you elaborate on your last suggestion. If she starts to reveal? Cheating on me, or likeing him? I quite curious, and believe you may be on to somthing. You have read entire thread? thoughts?

Thanks Ice, appreicate the help/ advice. Anything happens i'll throw on the thread. A little time away for someone either strenghens your relationship, or makes you realise you dont need it. We'll see what happens.

thanks fellas. Ice i actually asked her if she cheated on me when i talked to her. Wait she brought it up. She said "What, you think I cheated on you?" I siad i dont know, but i hope not. I'm going to do this. If she calls. I will let her know that i wont be anybodys #2, especially after I have been engaged with them. just 6 weeks ago. Second, I wont talk to her if shes still dating this other guy, unless she breaks up with him, or takes obvious steps. Actually nothing short of breaking up. Even than, she is going to have to do some serious wooing. Im not going to ask her to stop calling, im just not going to answer, let her actions surface. She dumped me, but yet i feel as if i have the cards in my hand. NC will remain in place. Now, i cant help the fact that she calls my buddy to find out where i am or what im doing. Last night she said she missed me and loved me still, she was just so angry at me for smothering her. Im a Deputy in a small town, i was constantly worried someone would take out their anger against me on her, somthing I have to live with. She didnt understand.How does this sound? I agree a Ice, i dont know if i couldever fully trust her. On the other hand, if she dumped me than began a physical relationship with this other dude, I'm glad she did it know not 10 years later, after kids and house, etc.....

show my hand, show her hand...thats what im going to have to do. Would this hurt any chances of us getting back together, because ive come to face i would not be on "Getting back together" portion of this website, if i didnt want to make it work. I move on she pulls me back, i move on she pulls me back. I have yet to break NC i need it to lick my wounds, she breaks it, granted i answer maybe 1/3rd of the calls, they become more despirate. However, if we talk again, I will lay down my hand.....hopefully she doesnt call my bluff

i see. As much as i didnt want her back, after i hung up the phone i was praying she'd call back. Ive been hanging out with other girls, doing the single thing. Having some fun, but she is consistant with her phone calls. She even called my buddy to see where i was, because i wasnt answering my phone. Now if she was completely happy w/ her "sudden" relationship she would not be calling...consistantly, just to tell me she missed talking to me, you where my best friend...bullshiza (thats for you Ice) I believe theres somthing behind it, im just affraid to ask.....

Ice, id be lying if i said the phone call didnt mess me up a little. I told her that she f-ed me over and i couldnt be no #2 man. She had no answers she just listened, and took it. Since we broke up, she never just took anything i said she always had a follow up response, not wednesday. Anytime i couldnt answer a question, she say "Thats not gonna do it for me, I need an answer" So i guess what we talked about didnt phase her. She called me last night and asked if i had called and hung up when she answered..I asked her if the number that showed up, if it was mine, and she said no. I didnt call her. She immediately asked what i was doing, and i said driving home, take care of yourself, and hung up.....Its good to be short, but not rude right? Because after the last few phone calls, im beginning to miss her a whole lot more. I think im gonna have to (if she calls) let a few phone calls go to the machine, for a few days..Throw it at me fella's

she called me last night. She said she really missed talking to me, and i was her best friend. I was avoiding talking about us and she said " Why are you affraid to talk about us?" whats going on here. Did she call because she really missed talking to me? or is there somthing behind it? She even called my buddy to find out where i was. I said i dont want to talk about this over the phone, and asked if i could meet her somwhere, she said she had a friend coming over for 2 days so she couldnt. Im not going to call her, im going to wait for her to call me. she asked how i felt talking to her, or if i dont want her calling me anymore. I didnt know what to say, so i left it up to hermagination. She asked how i felt about her as a person, and asked if i hated her? What the heck do i do know?

Thanks guys. Everything you've said is 100% true. Last night, she left another messege that said " Ok, I lyed, there is somthing i need to talk to you about, would you please give me a call back" I havnt called her back. The only thing I question is the stringing out of me. I havnt called her, or answered any of her last 7 phone calls. Another thing is its been said that the guy shes is with has alot of STDS. I told her about this when she split but wanted nothing to do with what i said. " of course my old boyfriend is going to try and bad mouth anyone knew." Wow, you guys are making me see the light...........everytime i talk to you about this i get angry. A girl shouldnt do that..Thanks ICe, kalshane!!!

so come out and ask her why shes calling? Should i tell her how i feel about the situation. See she split the sheets with me, 4 days later she was dating this guy. She pretty much said she wanted nothing to do with me. So i stopped. Didnt contact her. Now shes calling. She already apologised for getting in a relationship "that fast, it just worked out that way" Im actually getting pissed off talking about this. If i confront her, and she stops calling, or calls back later how would i take that. In your opinion why is she calling again

Nice Iceman!! Join the YMCA, thats funny stuff. I agree with what your saying 100% How could you be just friends w/ someone you were engaged with. Id be lying if i said i wouldnt want to work things out though...down the line. Right now would be tough though..I odnt want to talk to her than have her go to him F that Sh*t.

when should i call back (if i do) Next day?(which is today) tom.? Oh last night i wrote her a text for the first time after she called and i had to go. I said i work nights, will be home around 7am, I cant talk now....thats the same as calling right, so techniqually I already called, just waiting on her? The messege she left she said "Oh, i guess you dont want to talk to me, well give me a call, if you wanna talk" Talk? she left me. Part of the deal is you dont "talk" correct me if im wrong..

You really think so. I assume shes still with the other fella, dont really know. Dont know if i will call though. Do you imagine if i dont call she will call back. I dont even know her schedule anymore.

Hey guys. Last night i got another call. I answered but was in a huge hurr Late for work) i asked if she could call me back in a few minutes. She ended up calling me back but i had just left the car to go inside. ANyways she called three more times and finally left a messege ( she never leaves a messege, and she never calls on a monday) Anyways she says "she just wanted to say hi, but i guess you dont want to talk, so give me a call later if you wanna talk, thats cool. Bye" Im a tough sh*t to get ahold of she said. My question is whats going on her. I havnt called her once. Nor do i make any atempts to call her. What do i do next i guess?

thanks switch. I dont think the conversation will that deep that fast. As much as i tell myself im mad at her, i dont need her, and im better off, deep down I would take her back. Granted not at first, but over time i would. When you get into another physical relationship (holding hands, sex, etc...) that friggen fast, thats a tough pill to swallow, you know. It makes you think what the hell she was thinking. Shes three years younger and obsessed with being liked, and envyed by her peers its sick. But i love her, and i want her to be happy, with or without me (hopefully down the road w/ me)

Thanks Switch. I appreciate it. Ill try to bring my phone with me, but if she does call I'll find time to talk to her. I wont be as blunt as asking her why, but i will certainly entertain the idea of opening communication. However, I will not have her talk to her b/f than me, than b/f than me. There has to be some sort understanding. Do you agree?

Yeah guys, your right. Im going to continue NC. However, the next time she trys calling(if she does) I'll probably answer. Actually i work nights now so i will miss her calls (if she calls) I figure if she really wants to get ahold of me to see how things are going, she'll find a way. But my basic question was, i understand the 1st phone call. The ones afterwards that i havnt answered are the ones that are eating me. Why call? Thanks guys

popo, how long did the whole process take? And did your ex have a girlfriend after you?

She ended the relationship. She started a new relationship just days afterwards.We talked for the first week afterward, I told her enough was enough take care, and good bye. I dont know why my legs were shaking, never has happened to me before. I feel that maybe i am being to cold. But in order for me to try and get my point accross, she needs to she what its like without me around. She broke up with me, we were engaged. Everybody says so what whats a ring. But i feel people say yes for a reason. Anyways. Any advice would be great. I do miss her. She has told my buddy she misses me also, but i dont want to break NC. Shes still w/ new b/f I imagine. I feel all members who read these threads are sorta like a family. Im open for suggestions. Thanks

Hey, Im curious. Ive been a student of NC now for a month. I talk alot w/ popo ( Shes a huge help!!) Anyways. My ex called we talked. She called the following week, i made the conversation quick. She called the next day, I didnt answer, she called the next week, I didnt answer. I ran into her at work. She said hello and for some reason all i could do is Smile. My legs were shaking so bad. She hasnt tryed to contact me in a week. My question is why do are exs call us. I understand the first time. But the 2nd, 3rd, etc....What are the motives?