Maybe you feel this way too

[kerrio]

I recently called my ex a month after our breakup because I needed his help for some computer problems that I've been having (Trust me, I could NOT find anyone else). He had promised to do it, but kept putting it off. After a week, he agreed to come over on Monday after work, but when I called him, he told me that he was too busy.

 

Now, I'm not an idiot, so I can take a hint (Especially when he lives two blocks away). I asked him what he was doing and he said that he had to go grocery shopping and then meet some friends in a pub to watch a hockey game. At that moment, I felt really sad because I was at the bottom of his priority list.

 

I thought about this for a few hours and I think I have figured out what's bothering me.

 

Since he is the one who broke my heart, I want him to suffer. I want to see him being miserable, just like I was, rather than him partying with his friends. Is this normal? I've decided not to contact him anymore because he obviously does not wish to talk or to see me. Also, if he is seeing someone else, I don't want to play the role of the annoying ex-girlfriend that keeps bothering him.

 

This is how I feel:

 

He's not allowed to get over me until I'm over him

[kerrio]

Okay, I'm also afraid that he's going to find another girlfriend who is prettier, smarter, nicer and etc. I know when that happens, I'm gonna feel like crap because I want to think that I was the best thing that ever happened to him.

[Bones28]

Hey Kerrio-

 

Don't worry, the feeling you have are very normal, and in fact are very similar to mine. Neither of us want their ex's to move on or find better partners. I called my ex g/f so mnay times when she first dumped me that I could tell I was pushing her futher and further away. Once I backed off and kinda made it seem like I was alright, she called a little more.

 

we both want to see our ex's go through the hell they put us through. The nonstop crying, loss of appetite, terrible struggles...i feel the same way you do. The only thing I reccomend is that you back off a little and concentrate on yourself. I decided to focus on letting her out of my mind and then working on getting over her. Once I got the picture of my ex out of my mind and the thoughts of her coming back, I found the days a lot easier to get through. Maybe once he sees that you don't need him he will understand what he lost and will come back or start calling. And if not, maybe, as hard as it understand/grasp, it was not meant to be. Hope I answered your question, if not and you have more problems I will try and clarify more. Keep updating, you are not alone.

 

"Distance to love is like wind to fire. It extinguishes the meaningless and intensifies the extraordinary."