Sister was abused long ago

[Jacob_Dredg]

when I was about 5 years old I vividly remember a scene in the house where my dad(who is my sister's stepdad) was yelling at my sister(15 at the time) for not picking up her feet as she walked (she drug her feet on the ground while wearing flipflops which made a noise). That's about all I remember of it, but today my mom revealed after my dad yelled at her she starting to hyperventilate and throw up and said that he was abusing her. My parents got divorced over this and I was kept in the dark about it for obvious reasons. I was always led to believe the divorce was over money problems. It shocked me because I would never picture my dad as a pedophile. My mom always asked if he touched me whenever I visited him on the weekends, he never did but it makes sense now why she always asked that. I think today he is a changed man and that he is sorry for what he has done.When my family lived together, my sister and father would fight constantly, but now he asks about her as if hes sorry for what he did and wondering if she is making it in life. My question is, should I confront him about this? I'd like to hear his side of the story but he will probably deny it and it would make our relationship awkward.

[Vanilla]

I understand that you feel sorry for him because he is your father and he never did anything to you.

 

But if my father ever hurt a child, ANY child and even worse if it were my sister I could never EVER look at him the same way.

 

Do you realize that this man may have ruined your sisters life emotionally and mentally? THAT IS NOT A FATHER, THAT IS A SPERMDONER.

 

I don twant you to hate your ftaher, but do you think maybe he could have done this to other children? would you feel comfortable leaving your little kids (when you do have some) alone with him?

 

People who rob a child from their innocense, from their childhood are...

 

I'm sorry this is your father and that he did this, but I have no compassion for those who did such awful things.

 

I think you need to be there more for your sister than worry about how sorry your father is or talking tohim about it.

[Scout]

I am not clear on this...you say he yelled at her for dragging her feet, then somewhere you refer to him as a pedophile.

 

Every parent has yelled at their kids...I would not call that abuse unless it's a pretty regular thing.

 

Can you please clarify what the abuse was here?

[Cadence308]

From what I understand of the story, your father was sexually abusing your sister for some time and would also emotionally abuse her for doing stupid things like dragging her feet when walking?

 

If this is the case, if you think that you could talk to your father about what happened and it would make you feel better about the whole situation, then I would do it. He will probably deny ever doing it and it may make your relationship awkward with him like you said. If you don't talk to him you are always going to wonder about it.

 

I think if I were you my relationship with him would be awkward anyway knowing what he had done to my sister. I don't think that I could ever trust him alone with my own kids and I would always wonder if he had touched other children in this way. I have a hard time believing that pedophiles can really change their actions, thoughts, and behaviors. It's like an addiction.

[TraciH]

i know hes your father and you dont want to ask him, incase it makes things awkward. but, what about your sister and how she feels, i mean i have personally been at the receiving end of abuse, and if my brother still had a relationship with my abuser i would disown him. your loyalties should be with your sister not your father. a leopard cant change its spots.

[yeawutever]

What a terrible thing to find out about your father who never did anything to you, but did rob your sister her innocence. If and only if you are really sure some type of sexual abuse took place, then try talking to your father how you feel about that matter. Don't mention this to your sister, you wouldn't want her to keep reliving that moment but if she does mention about it, be there to comfort her.