esemar Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Recently I had a conversation with a woman who when she found out my age and that I've never been married (had one long term - 2 years - when I was 20) asked me, "So why haven't you been married?" Then without taking a breath, "You better get married before it's too late." Too late for what?!? For the last 8 years or so, my relationships have lasted around 2 months at which point I've basically found that they don't have "sticking power", even though I'd like them to work out. Back in my early and mid 20's, relationships seemed to have more sticking power and there were times I even let the idea of marriage cross my mind. These days, if a woman takes too much time from the activities I enjoy (playing/composing music, writing, enjoying the outdoors), I find that I'd rather give up the woman than the activities. When I talk to old-timers about this stuff, around 75% of them say I'm doing the right thing- never get married. The rest say that marriage has been the best thing of their lives. If I were to ever get married, I think it would have to be a conscious decision, a path that I choose, because there's no way it's going to happen by accident... getting caught up in the passions of a relationship aren't what they used to be. So why choose that path when I'm perfectly happy the way things are? I went to college, lived overseas for a while playing music, lived in ski towns for a while playing music, and now have "settled down" in a house, have a dog and cat, and enjoy being part of a community. It's unfortunate that in the four years I've been here, I've broken off four relationships, all around the two month time span, because I didn't feel that "sticking power" of old. Sorry to ramble on here. I guess my question is what is the big deal about getting married? Am I missing something earth shattering here? Is it "too late" for me? Are there any good reasons to give up on the things I want to accomplish and instead focus that energy on another person? I look forward to reading about any experiences and/or advice in this area. I've never talked about this stuff in such great detail before. The beauty of the anonymous internet makes all sorts of things possible. SMR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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