akira234 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'm kind of torn between the decision whether or not I should break up with my bf. I know he's not really that attracted to me but he loves me a lot. He's a pretty good looking guy but I don't think I'm that bad compared to him. We've had this conversation about how he feels unattracted to me but loves me and he doesn't want to break up. We haven't had sex for a couple of months, he'd rather jerk off to porn that have sex with me. What should I do? I feel like an idiot in this relationship. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Yeah, you need to end it. By the way, I suspect he'd leave you in a second if he found "the one." Link to comment
Ayanokōji Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 When you go into your 60-70s I highly doubt neither of you will really be physically attracted to each other, if he sincerely loves you for who you are but isn't attracted to you physically it could still work but again the risk if high on your end. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'd say end it. A relationship without sexual attraction on oneside is more like a friendship really. What if he finds someone he gets on with AND finds attractive? Link to comment
benkuske Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 This isn't fair to either of you. He'd rather fantasize than be with you? It's not just that he's not really attracted... he's not attracted at all... How old are you guys? He's probably confused, I know there's been people that I really care about and feel like I should like but just am simply NOT attracted and don't want it. Guys will still want to be physical with people they're only sort of attracted to. If he doesn't even want to be with you when that's available to him... dang... that's a really bad sign. And he even told you! You deserve WAY better than that, and he should be with someone that he is attracted to. You have HALF of a relationship, and if you don't end it now it's going to end poorly later anyway, when he meets someone that he is attracted to. Look, you can't force attraction. if he doesn't feel it now, it's not going to grow. You feel like an idiot in this relationship. Then get out, and stop feeling like an idiot. That sound dysfunctional. I know it's way easier SAID than done. But that's why the internet is great. I know it sounds harsh, but people will be totally honest and objective, because their emotions aren't involved. They can see it a little more clearly. Do both of yourselves a favor and break it off ASAP. I know he genuinely cares about you... as a person. But it's not a good romantic relationship. It's a very bad one. Link to comment
Romanticism Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I'd say end it. A relationship without sexual attraction on oneside is more like a friendship really. What if he finds someone he gets on with AND finds attractive? I agree. People like to act like relationships aren't about sex, but when it comes down to it they are. Sex is probably 10-15% of a relationship. If you don't find someone attract enough to have passionate sex with I don't believe you truly love them like a lover should. You might love them as a friend, but not be in love with them. Sexual attraction can diminish, but you seem to have none at all which means it's time to move on. Link to comment
Trinity11 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 When you go into your 60-70s I highly doubt neither of you will really be physically attracted to each other, if he sincerely loves you for who you are but isn't attracted to you physically it could still work but again the risk if high on your end. Physical attraction is not just about looks though. I have had someone say they think im hot, but are just not physically attracted to me. I have also been out with guy that I KNOW are not that attractive, but their mannerisms and the sparkle in their eye do it for me. Years on, they will still be attractive to me. But in answer to the ops question. Yep end it. Link to comment
Nothisdoormat Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I'm kind of torn between the decision whether or not I should break up with my bf. I know he's not really that attracted to me but he loves me a lot. He's a pretty good looking guy but I don't think I'm that bad compared to him. We've had this conversation about how he feels unattracted to me but loves me and he doesn't want to break up. We haven't had sex for a couple of months, he'd rather jerk off to porn that have sex with me. What should I do? I feel like an idiot in this relationship. Akira234, do you think it's healthy and beneficial to feel like an idiot? You indicate that you know he is not really that attracted to you, but you say "he loves me a lot." I believe there's truth to that old song that says "sometimes love just ain't enough." You should be wanting and feeling that you DESERVE the full package - attraction, love, adoration, the full package. It's time YOU believe that. -Sole Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 If you guys had issues because of a sexual health issue - you could have an awesome relationship without much sex - there would still be attraction, but when someone isn't even ATTRACTED to you, and its a YOUNG relationship and you guys are YOUNG, this is not a relationship to be in! You deserve more! Don't settle! Link to comment
SometimesShy Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Yes, I would end your relationship. If you want the relationship to last and your man to be faithful, then he must be physically attracted to you. Otherwise you are just a "placeholder" until some one better comes along. Link to comment
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