So Confused with the situation with my pregnant ex gf..

[22n32]

Feeling really down today.. 5 weeks ago my pregnant gf broke up with me.. there has been zero contact on her part in 5 weeks.. first 1.5 week i tried calling, texting, expplaning myself all the basics..

 

last 3 weeks ive been doing NC to give her space.. i know 11 weeks pregnant hormones are going crazy.. so her thoughts and action can be volitaile.. so im giving her space. but i have text her to ask if she is okay and how is she doing and if she needs anything... didnt hear a word from her..

 

why are we broken up? well last few months of our rel i was very moddy, depressed, and critical of her and everything.. very bad times for me.. since i have gottne over it..

 

but five weeks we had a disagrement.. and i pushed the subject, and said well if ur sister feels that way i want nothing to do with ur family anymore.. i tried sticking up for myself.. and she rights back were done..

 

and i said yes we are.. out of anger.. and since then i havent heard anything from her.. at all..

 

these 5 weeks have felt like a yr.. im so scared and confused and worried about losing my family, her, my child as a unit forever..

 

worst feeling ever ive gone thru..

 

i know there prob not alot of advice that can be giving.. lot say wait it out till she gives birth and hormones drop alot and be there for her... just scared never will be giving a chance.. 6 more months is a long time..

[indea08]

I'm 18 weeks pregnant now...after the first 12 to 14 weeks, the irritability wears off with the morning sickness. I was kind of moody in the first trimester because I felt sick 24/7 for two months and that weighed on me. However, I don't think I was moody to the point of BEIN irrational or unable to discuss emotions and stuff. You say "hormones are going crazy" as if there's no point in talking things out right now simply because of the hormones...I don't think the hormones have that big of an influence. That's just my experience. But, if she won't respond to you, I guess the only option you have is to wait it out. I doubt she will be able to last the rest of the pregnancy without speaking to you...you'll hear from her eventually.

[rosasnyder811]

Wait it out until she gives birth? That is so pathetic!

She is carrying your child. You need to grow a thick skin and practice what you preach. She is hormonal. You need to be understanding of that and when she comes at you, you need to brush it off. I'm not saying to be a punching bag, but you have to be more understanding. You can't fight with a pregnant woman the same way!

 

The best you can do now is say that "I'm sorry, and for the sake of our child, I am here to talk when you are ready. Let me know if there is anything you need." Then leave it at that. If you don't hear from her right away, give her some time.

Whatever you do, when you do get in contact again--do not lose your cool. You need to be there for your child. Not after they are born, but now. You and the mother need to reconcile and destress for the best chance at a healthy baby.

[22n32]

waiting till she gives birth is pathetic ??? im confused.. should i not even wait for her then ?

 

all i meant to say is i might have to wait till she gives birth to have a level headed conversation.. because she is not talking to me.. what em i suppose to do..

[22n32]

I'm 18 weeks pregnant now...after the first 12 to 14 weeks, the irritability wears off with the morning sickness. I was kind of moody in the first trimester because I felt sick 24/7 for two months and that weighed on me. However, I don't think I was moody to the point of BEIN irrational or unable to discuss emotions and stuff. You say "hormones are going crazy" as if there's no point in talking things out right now simply because of the hormones...I don't think the hormones have that big of an influence. That's just my experience. But, if she won't respond to you, I guess the only option you have is to wait it out. I doubt she will be able to last the rest of the pregnancy without speaking to you...you'll hear from her eventually.

 

congrats.. im not saying her hormones are the problem or its why were not talking.. clearly she is mad, and either trying to protect her baby, by not engaging with any talk with me for the fear of her baby.. or her angier is hightened with the hormones, or trying to teach me a leason.. or just hates me.. maybe a combo of all.

 

because she is not having any convo with me just straight ignoring me... all i can do or only option i really have is to leave her alone and hope she comes around.. because the more i try more she is pissed off and just pushing her away,,

[m8check]

While waiting for her anger to subside, continue to show her that you still care about her and the baby and that you want to settle the issues between the two of you.

[fabact]

yea you should say your sorry and just make sure you let her know you're there for her and the baby. You should take this time to work out your own issues, therapy, etc , as to why you acted the way you did. work on yourself during this time and continue to show her support respectfually (ie: not stalking...not saying you do..) You don't want to just dissappear because then you'll look like the guy that didnt' support her during her pregnancy. If she won't talk to you or answer your calls you can send her a hand written card, and do small gestures to let her know how much you're thinking about her. She doesn't have to reply to them but she sees your sincerity. Actions speak louder than words. if you work on yourself to turn yourself around and show you're support through actions - it will SHOW her what you're all about.

[22n32]

m8check & fabact

 

goodstuff n I agree and im trying to be patient.. ive talked to her dad twice.. prob not best idea but all i had.. she is hiding behind her parents now.. she is 29.. ive sent her flowers, and a card..

 

ive texted her im here for her and the baby and i love her let me know if she needs anything.. and like i said talked to her dad and we actually talked about what happened ive explained to me what i need to do.. he said sit tight for now.. NC

 

i would like to open daliouge with her, maybe grab lunch one day.. talk hang out keep it light simply and fun but serious and let her see that i love her and i have changed or relized what i did and not doing anymore..

 

im texting every 2-3 weeks asking how she is doing and if everything is okay.. hoping when her anger and hormones subsiued a little we can talk and go slow from there..

 

but as of now 5.5 weeks wo a single word from her.. hoping few more months or might even be till she gives birth we can start talking again..

 

im just scared there other issues like she wants to keep the baby on her own.. raise child alone. and let me see the kid rarely.. she is mom hungry wants a child so bad. im scared of that she will just push me away and rationlize it that i was bad..

 

but i think what mother doesnt want a child to have a regular father, besides if hes drug user, cheater, liar, abusive im none of those.. i wanna be there and try and be a family..

 

my biggest fear of the unknown.. keeps me in fear and hurt all day every day..

 

but im being patient , and working on my issues..

[fabact]

Her dad probably knows best. if he says hang tight for now, it's becuase he knows his daughter, and to me it sounds like he knows that she'll come around later. Most mothers would not want to exclude the father from the picture. unless your an abusive person, she will likely want you to have contact with the child b/c a) it's hard going at it alone as a mom b) moms want a father figure for the child. keep doing what you're doing and good luck.

[22n32]

IM trying.. first week when i contacted her, her dad got pissed i wont leave her alone.. very protactive, thats given.. he goes u keep pushing at this point u have pushed her away 90% and 10% of her coming back..

 

i was just trying to show i loved her and i understand.. more i tried more i was made to look like the bad guy..

 

i hope she sees that view that she would want me in our kids life and even be a family.. just hope she doesnt think.. child will have a mother and she lives at home so her dad will lookout for the kid.. till she finds another man a better man to be a father fig.. she is very christan..

 

just hope she, her dad and mom arent coming up with a plan to exlude me, that would be horriable.. not likely but not imposible either

 

so scared of this...

[Angel Irulan]

At 11 weeks pregnant,she could still terminate the pregnancy.

Are you sure she's still pregnant?

Angel

[22n32]

At 11 weeks pregnant,she could still terminate the pregnancy.

Are you sure she's still pregnant?

Angel

 

she is so against that.. no way she is terminating it.. she would run off and raise her child before that would even be a question..

 

honsetly im scared she used me as a sperm bank.. i really am.. she is a beautifull girl.. and not to sound stuck up.. but i have very good genes also. and its gonna be one gorgoues kid..

 

ive heard women biologicly want to reproduce with the best genes outhere, but want it to be raised by a safe guy.. i know it sounds crazy and it probally is..

 

but she really wanted this kid, and now im dumped wont even talk to me.. makes no sense..

[Cheetarah]

What makes you think she wanted your sperm?

[22n32]

What makes you think she wanted your sperm?

 

 

ive heard other women ask me if i would.. im tall, slender, muscular, good skin.. 34 look 26-27.. zero health problems, or any heradity problems, strong as an ox.. just good dna so it makes for a perfect start to new life..

 

im hoping she didnt just want our love baby and then find a safe rich guy to provide.. u never know it this world.. i know im freaking out but i cant rule it out yet..

[Cheetarah]

Well...I didn't go back to my ex-h when I got pregnant. I would have with stipulations(therapy), but they never happened, so it never happened. He was confident I would return for 'the family life'. I knew that I wanted to raise a child in the proper environment...And us together as a COUPLE..Wouldn't have been without some help.

 

I didn't want to talk to him, and it called on all my strength to do so. I only did it for our son(who he has never and probably will never meet, his choice). Maybe she is not in that mindset yet. You want her back desperately and so long as you push for it, so long she will keep her distance. I would say the most realistic thing to work towards right now is developing a civil co-parenting relationship. If space needs to happen for a little while first, then it does.

 

You are powerless right now in a way you don't want to be, and I am sorry. There is nothing you can do to change her mind. You have no rights now, and if you're unmarried in the US, you still have no rights until paternity is established(signing an AoP, birth cert, etc). After that, you may petition the court for custody and visitation.

 

I hope that you are able to eventually rebuild a relationship with her - Not necessarily of the romantic variety, but so you two can effectively co-parent.

[22n32]

^^^ sounds extreme.. sent an IM