cupcake22 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I invited this guy from high school over to drink and hang out. there has been a lot of sexual tension before so we knew it was gonna happen and he was the one who initiated it. i thought it was really good, but right after he got dressed and said he needed like 10 min before we went again, the he got a phone call and then said he had to go move furniture for his mom....i really am unsure if this was just a bail excuse or what. he said it wasn't and he didn't want to leave, but that's very coincidental i think. i hope i wasn't that bad that he had to run away. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 If you're not in a relationship, I'm not sure what more you were expecting? Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I don't think he left because he was bad. He just planned on it being a booty call. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 what else were you expecting though? Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I don't think he left because he was bad. He just planned on it being a booty call. Yup. You were easy sex for him with zero commitment. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I don't think he left because he was bad. He just planned on it being a booty call. Er.. I meant.. because IT was bad. lol. Link to comment
cupcake22 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 what else were you expecting though? i guess for him to want it more than once Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 i guess for him to want it more than once If you want to be more then a booty call then you are going to have to expect/demand more from the men you let into your life. They should have to earn the right to be with you not just get it with no effort. Build a fence around your yard, other wise any a-hole can walk all over it. Link to comment
HeatherB Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 i guess for him to want it more than once He'll be back. But it'll be whenever he feels like it, and entirely on his terms not yours. The more you give to him, without asking anything in return, the more self-important and entitled he will feel and the worse he will treat you. Link to comment
SpottiOtti Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 What did you think was good and bad about it? Whatever you thought was bad, you can tweak in the future. No big. We all can be better in bed. From what my guy friends have told me, they don't like it when a girl just lies there or if she isn't well-groomed (hygiene); those are pretty much the only two complaints I've ever heard from the male perspective. As long as those two things aren't an issue for you, you were probably fine in the sack. I think other posters are assuming that you want a relationship from this guy. Is that the case? Were you hurt when he left because you like him as more than an F-buddy? And if it was just an excuse, would you be willing to continue to see him? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 There's lots of possibilities here, but the bottom line is you didn't like having a quick roll and him leaving right away. That's perfectly ok. I wouldn't like it either. Not even in a 'casual' situation, even though he didn't technically do anything wrong (if it's just a roll, he has no obligation to stick around and make sure your needs are all met). So if it had gone ideally, what would you have liked? A second round - were you disappointed that didn't happen? Cuddles afterwards, or talk, even just for a bit? Let's hear exactly what you want. Cause when you know what you want, you won't be afraid to speak up about it. Even if this is 'casual', you still have a voice and a say in how things go down. Potential possibilities: he really did need to help her move and he fit in this time with you just barely probably being late for the other to do it. He knew he probably wouldn't be able to go for round two and rather than stick around and face the potential of 'falling flat' and being embarrassed, he cut out early. Other possibilities too... What I would do, if you choose to get together again, is lay out what you want upfront. If he's going to be coming over, let him know beforehand what you expect (sure, I'd love for you to come over, but let's book it so there is time for us to chat a bit/have a snack before you need to go) ...or whatever. Rule Number One: don't make mens behavior about yourself. Save yourself so much grief! Link to comment
capilot Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Yup. You were easy sex for him with zero commitment. In all fairness, he was also easy sex for her with zero commitment. Link to comment
capilot Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 And who knows? Maybe he was telling the truth about having to go help his mother move some furniture. It would have been a bit more chivalrous of him to say "I can't come over right now ma, I'm right in the middle of someone I mean something". But I'm betting it wasn't his chivalrousness that caused you to invite him over. Link to comment
cupcake22 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks everyone, that makes me feel a little better. I was just disappointed because I didn't get to finish. Honestly I think he freaked because he is on a break with his gf and he regrets hooking up. But he did initiate and it was planned for like 3 weeks. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I invited this guy from high school over to drink and hang out. there has been a lot of sexual tension before so we knew it was gonna happen and he was the one who initiated it. i thought it was really good, but right after he got dressed and said he needed like 10 min before we went again, the he got a phone call and then said he had to go move furniture for his mom....i really am unsure if this was just a bail excuse or what. he said it wasn't and he didn't want to leave, but that's very coincidental i think. i hope i wasn't that bad that he had to run away. Never never never do the lets get together, have a drink and hang out...then have sex situation. It puts you in booty call territory and he treated you accordingly. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 In all fairness, he was also easy sex for her with zero commitment. True. But men agreeing to have sex has little or no value in the culture. Plus, he is not the one on the boards asking why they got played. This guy took the candy, arranged for a rescue call, then bailed. When is the last time a woman did that to you? (crickets, crickets). I thought so... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks everyone, that makes me feel a little better. I was just disappointed because I didn't get to finish. Honestly I think he freaked because he is on a break with his gf and he regrets hooking up. But he did initiate and it was planned for like 3 weeks. You mean he got off and left you hanging? This is why these types of encounters suck...on so many levels...practical ones included. It's par for the course in casual encounters. It was especially risky of you to choose a guy who is 'on a break' with a gf. Link to comment
regular joe Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Thanks everyone, that makes me feel a little better. I was just disappointed because I didn't get to finish. Honestly I think he freaked because he is on a break with his gf and he regrets hooking up. But he did initiate and it was planned for like 3 weeks. He was on a "break" he was horny, so were you. It ended up as planned. He could have at least gotten you off before he left. Sorry to say but he more than likely was looking for a hit it and quit it. Link to comment
cupcake22 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 I still feel rejected. Link to comment
HeatherB Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I still feel rejected. That makes sense to me. You were rejected. He's probably gone back to his gf. Next time perhaps choose more wisely. Link to comment
regular joe Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 That makes sense to me. You were rejected. He's probably gone back to his gf. Next time perhaps choose more wisely. I'm sorry you feel hurt. It seems you wanted more from tis than he did. Chaulk it up to one of life's lessons learned. Next time be more careful with who you chose to sleep with. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm sorry you feel disappointed but I hope you learned a lesson. He used you like a rag. He didn't care about you getting yours only his. Leave this guy alone from now on. Link to comment
Mike80 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Imma keep it real, doll You gave it up too quick.He got his nut off, and he lost interest immediately after. You got what you wanted (besides round 2) and so did he. Bow out gracefully. Link to comment
ayami Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I invited this guy from high school over to drink and hang out. there has been a lot of sexual tension before so we knew it was gonna happen and he was the one who initiated it. i thought it was really good, but right after he got dressed and said he needed like 10 min before we went again, the he got a phone call and then said he had to go move furniture for his mom....i really am unsure if this was just a bail excuse or what. he said it wasn't and he didn't want to leave, but that's very coincidental i think. i hope i wasn't that bad that he had to run away. Well, at least you enjoyed it and had a good time. I hope for your sake he comes back as you seem to like him. Seems a bit awful what he did though, only 10 mins hug time and then he gets dressed and runs off. Not much of a gentleman is he? Did he wipe on the curtains on the way out? Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I still feel rejected. You were not rejected. You were used. You picked a thoughtless guy, on break from his girlfriend and decided to give him no strings sex. How could you have expected anything different than how it played out? He was supposed to come back with roses? You really need to protect your intimacy and find a more worthy guy. Link to comment
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