barkjohn10 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Okay so I'm in a long distance relationship with this guy who is bi & he want's to have a baby with his best friend. I'm a dude so that's why he isn't having a baby with me I don't think he should do that, considering he is 18 & he should wait, plus where does that leave me? I've tried talking to him about it ,saying that it won't be only your baby it'll be hers too & stuff like how it won't work out & today he told me that he wanted to get her pregnant when he comes back down, which will be on 3/15. That's the day he told me he plans on doing it too. I'm not comfortable at all with it. I'm not really worried though because he told me that they tried having sex before & he couldn't get it up & he said that he wasn't attracted to her at all. I honestly don't know what to do. I've told him that it's his life & to do what you want & that I support you 100% on whatever you want to do, but I don't know if it'll work between us. I really don't won't to lose this guy because I think I truly love him, & I don't know what I'd do without him. I would really like your guy's opinion on this... I mean I think it's pretty f*cked up & shows how much he really loves me. Link to comment
appies Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 he wants a baby at 18? I sounds like he either is looking for attention or has a lot of self-discovery to do. I'd say just don't make a big deal of things, but i see a lot of problems between you and him if he does get her pregnant. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 First off how does he plan to pay for this baby? Does he have a job that can care for baby? I don't know too many 18-year-olds that can pay for a baby. Second ,how does he know that she will be fertile at that time? Three ,if he's not married to her he gets no custody of that baby. He will however be forced to pay childcare payments. It doesn 't sound like he's doing a lot of thinking. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 You are only 15 years old and I am assuming still in high school - and he is only 18. That is no age to be bringing children into this world (imo). Both of you should be focusing on completing your schooling and going to college to further your education. When you both able to take on the responsibilities of raising a child for the next 18 years and the responsibilities of owning a home and paying for mortgages, rents, insurances, utilities etc etc then it would be a better time to think about children. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 It's a crazy idea for him and for her, unfair on the potential baby, and unfair on you. There is no upside to it whatsoever. I do wonder if he means it or if he is playing strange mind games with you. Either way it doesn't reflect on him very well. Link to comment
barkjohn10 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 I'm 15. I think it's completely stupid that he want's to have a baby at this early of an age. I would never plan on parenting a child unless I know I can care for it, & this is not mine & his baby, it's his and her's baby. I don't think he's thinking at all but maybe years later he'll realize that having a baby is a very serious thing. & she got one of those ovulating tests soo, yeah. I mean I don't think he is capable of having sex with her, but still who does that? MY MIND IS SOO CROWDED. I feel like he is just soo dumb, he doesn't even have a job either. I don't know what to doo.... Link to comment
barkjohn10 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 & yes he means it, I've talked to both of them. She means it too. It seems like they think it's completely normal. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I'm 15. I think it's completely stupid that he want's to have a baby at this early of an age. I would never plan on parenting a child unless I know I can care for it, & this is not mine & his baby, it's his and her's baby. I don't think he's thinking at all but maybe years later he'll realize that having a baby is a very serious thing. & she got one of those ovulating tests soo, yeah. I mean I don't think he is capable of having sex with her, but still who does that? MY MIND IS SOO CROWDED. I feel like he is just soo dumb, he doesn't even have a job either. I don't know what to doo.... These things are all too heavy for a 15-year-old to be concerned about. My son is 15 as well. Concentrate on your education and don't worry about this guy or this girl just empty him out of your life. You're being played my friend. This guy doesn't sound like he has a lot of sense or brains. And he wants to ruin a child's life. He sounds like a real winner ,not. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Maybe you need to spell out to them that it's downright idiotic. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 If you are 15, please stay away from him. You can choose to date who you want to when you are 18, but its statutory rape if you consummate a relationship with him. I would honestly also distance yourself from this guy. I would also concentrate on school and figuring out who you are and make friends who you can actually spend time with. Don't tie yourself down to one person. Have many friends right now. And he may desire her more than he lets on or wants to tell you. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Honest Harsh Opinion: This guy sounds all kinds of crazy. Not only is he (an adult) engaging in a relationship with you (a minor). He now wants to cheat on you, get a girl pregnant (at age 18 no less, I'm assuming the girl is around the same age), when he and the mother most likely have no college education, and no ability to support the child. He clear has no understand of how much time, energy, and money it takes to raise a child (and what if it ha special needs? I was two months early when I was born. Cost my family A LOT of money in medical bills). I would walk away from this guy. He is one of these older guys who dates younger people because that the maturity level they operate on. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 First thing that came to mind: he's a brat who's ringing your chimes. The more you pretzel to talk him out of this, the more he's loving it. I'd tell him to go enjoy himself, and he's got until 3/15 to research what it costs to raise a kid and figure out how he's gong to pay for it--because I'm not pitching in. Link to comment
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