Ladies Only Please - Menopause and Mojo

[Silverbirch]

I think I might be starting to go through the change. I can't think of any other explanation, but I can't find my mojo. It was there a few weeks ago. My feelings for my partner haven't changed - in fact, I love him even more and things are going well. He's been very understanding. I'm not refusing sex or anything but it is definitely feeling different for me and there is a physical change I don't want to go into online.

 

I've heard there are natural therapies for women going through the change. I don't want hormone replacement therapy as I had it once before and didn't find it to be beneficial. Has anyone tried any of the natural therapies. I am finding that I'm getting more tired - luckily my partner is too. We're both tired, work-related mostly. We have had very hot weather here which is tiring for most folks young and old. Could this be it?? I want to find my mojo again.

[Kaytie]

Do you mean a general sense of apathy and lack of motivation? My partner is going through menopause and this is one of her main complaints (among a few other physical ones). With her, it's gone in phases so it is not a permanent sense of apathy or lack of mojo. She is taking one day at a time, and with my support, is getting through it, although I know it has been quite difficult for her.

[crosbyfan]

Menopause is a big change (no pun intended)

 

I'm about 8 months into the whole thing and have tried a few of the natural therapies, since I'm like you and don't want to do the Hormone Replacement route.

 

I've tried Black Kohosh, but it didn't do much for me. I've also tried to have more soy products, since the effect of soy mimics the effect of estrogen. Can't say it does much, but at least I'm doing something. It's also suggested that you reduce or eliminate caffeine (can't let this one go yet), sugar and alcohol, plus get lots of exercise.

 

I know what you mean about losing your 'mojo.' It's something that both you and your partner need to be aware about. My biggest suggestion is lots of lube, since once you hit menopause your body doesn't produce its own lubrication, thus stimulation and penetration become painful. I openly talked about it with my husband and introducing a good lube into our sex life helped to make thing enjoyable for me (thus for him too). My sex drive diminished somewhat, but I found that making appointments for sex worked well, since it helped to put me in the right mind set. So much of your mojo is tied up in your mind! Big thing is to get your partner on board about all the changes that are happening. It may take you a while to warm up, but you'll get there!

 

BTW - hot flashes suck! Learn to dress in breathable layers.

[becomingkate]

.

 

When I started experiencing all those signs last summer, I was telling my sister that I was going to try soy and she begged me to research it before doing so because of a possible increase in risk of breast cancer. I'm not sure how conclusive all the evidence was but

I'm adopted and don't have all my medical history yet, so I passed on the soy.

 

Here's one link on soy:

 

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I have tried adding beans to my diet, and have to say how well they work. I've started making a black bean chili once in awhile, and also eat brown beans several times a week and can say the hot flashes are almost gone! I still deal with the other issues like tiredness, mood swings and lack of lubrication but those are manageable.

 

Here's a link on beans and menopause:

 

link removed

[Silverbirch]

Thank you so much all for the understanding replies. I haven't had the hot flushes yet, but I do have a general sense of tiredness. I was tested a couple of months back at being right at the beginning of menopause and mostly still get a period - but I'm just don't know what else it could be. It's frustrating. I've always enjoyed it so much with him - I'm extremely attracted to him - more than I ever have been with anyone - and that's a lot. We are getting along very well.

 

He is being great about it, saying he knows the feeling - I told him that mentally and emotionally I'm all there for it. It's just that my body isn't working for me.

 

I have been having soy milk for over 10 years as I am lactose intolerant. I tried switching to rice and oat milk recently, but couldn't get used to it. I have become vegetarian in the last 18 months and wondering if that could be playing a part as well. I might try eating more beans. I have been using tofu here and there, but haven't thought about whether it makes any difference.

 

Kaytie, I don't think I have a general sense of apathy. It's just with regard to sex, my sexual feelings are different. It's like I feel it all emotionally and feel the attraction. My body just doesn't do what it normally does - ie get aroused. I have to say that I have fallen asleep on the lounge quite a lot of late - I haven't even made it to bed. Luckily partner has been feeling very tired as well so that makes it less of a problem. I have been climbing into bed with him in the mornings for a cuddle - lots of affection as well as a VERY handsome naked man beside me, but my bits won't work.

 

Crosbyfan, I just read that one can try using a Vitamin E capsule - *****ing it with a pin and massaging the contents on the intimate parts.

I have been having a lot of caffeine of late - I had been great a while back - switching to drinking Chai Latte. I also do consume a lot more sugar than I should.

 

Thanks Becomingkate - I'll try the brown beans - do you mean like the type they use in Mexican and Italian food?

[Seraphim]

Omg do I understand you! I've been going through for about three years. The hot flashes are miserable. I have zero interest in you know.. But that is fine as my husband takes medication and he's not interested either. Now I have started missing periods. This month will be 3 in a row I have missed . My mother did hormone replacement for 10 years. Basically she ended up with a heart problem because she did that.

 

I notice I lack a lot more energy than I used to have. That is my biggest complaint. I find exercise helps with that though.

 

I plan on going through this with no hormone replacement and no supplements at all. I have done three years so far and it seems to be okay.

 

The other thing that I seem to have problems with this more emotional. Sometimes I find my moods uncontrollable. And the other thing that bothers me is accepting the idea that I will never again have more children.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Vic,

I haven't had hot flashes and hope I don't. I'm only a little late with my period I think. Silly me hasn't been writing dates down. I had been having some low back pain for weeks and my partner says he thinks it's my imagination, but I feel like my body is turning to blob. I was told years ago - when I hit 40 I think how our metabolisms change and we need to reduce what we eat and increase exercise. I'm not overweight or anything - just that I had been slim all of my life and now I've got a lot more curve. I definitely don't want to put on more weight. What I REALLY hate too is waking up and seeing there is a hair growing on my chin. Eeeee. . . . . .PLUCK

[Miss Firecracker]

Silverbirch,

 

I am almost 54, and I tried all the products for dryness, and for awhile that worked pretty well. But in the last year or so it is hopeless. Sex is very painful now. Today, after much consideration, I got a prescription for vaginal estrogen cream. So I am hoping this will give us our sex life back.

 

Not only that, but I also have a rectocele. The surgery for this is pretty painful I hear, and it takes a lot out of you for a good while, so I will not do that yet. Menopause is not fun. I went through it 7 years ago and still have hot flashes. But I survived it.

[Silverbirch]

Thanks very much Miss Firecracker, I hope you won't mind letting me if you have a good result with the oestrogen. Sorry to hear about the surgery.

 

I'm so hoping someone call tell me that things will go back to normal. We had a very good sex life. Co-incidentally or not, our relationship is a lot more affectionate in ways that don't involve sex as time goes on, but I'm definitely not ready to give up sex even if atm it's not as good as it has been.

[Miss Firecracker]

The doctor told me it would fix the dryness, but I have doubts. I've been promised other things and been disappointed. Who knows? I will let you know soon though.

[Miss Firecracker]

I have been reading everything I can find on this. This gave me encouragement. I am using Estrace.

 

link removed

[Miss Firecracker]

Ok, I know I won't be using this long. I am just too concerned about side effects.

 

I am going to try this.

 

link removed

 

The Estrace I will use on the outer area only, and I will use this safe product internally.

[lavenderdove]

Oh, if you are tired and have a dropping libido, please don't assume it is menopause. The majority of women in the 40s and beyond have a SERIOUS Vitamin D deficiency and many of the symptoms you describe could be related to that. But they need very high doses of the vitamin to counteract it, on the order of 50,000 units once or twice a week to correct. I felt a crushing exhaustion and had lots of symptoms that turned out to be a Vitamin D deficiency and it was miraculous the change that happened when i started taking it. But you need to go to your doctor and get them to do a Vitamin D test to see if you are. most doctors will when the person enters their 40s and has tiredness or notices changes such as you are describing. You need the test because taking too much D is not good for you if you're not deficient, but it is a miracle if you are deficient and need it.

[Silverbirch]

Thanks for the interesting links Miss Firecracker. I was especially interested in the second link. I tried to get the Vitamin E capsules today, but they were very expensive at the place I went to - $35 and only the bottle of 100. Would rather get a smaller bottle to trial, but the suppositories on your link look like a good possibility. Please let me know how you find them. I will look for them at the Chemist Warehouse.

 

 

Hi Lavenderdove, funny you should say that because ages ago, I was told from tests that I was Vitamin D deficient and just forgot all about it. I'd better get some. I have to go back to my GP within the next 2 weeks so I'll get check out again.

[Silverbirch]

I've continued to research this and found some women stating they have had success using Jojoba oil and also some saying tp insert an evening primrose capsule at night.

[Silverbirch]

I've bought some of the vitamin and natural therapies today - Evening Primrose Oil, Vitamin D and Vitamin E so see how it is in a few weeks.

 

Miss Firecracker, I was thinking how especially over the last few weeks, my hair and skin has been so much more dry also. My bathroom is already like a drug store and I have this bottle of stuff I only use occasionally but it's great and not expensive at all. It's called Mrs. Palmer's Skin Serum. From what I can make out, it's main base is coconut oil. I put it all over my face, arms and legs before I went to bed last night and I could even see a noticeable difference when I woke up this morning. I also have a very large 40 year aloe vera plant and when I could be bothered, I pick a leaf and rub the inner flesh into my skin and I believe that has benefits too.

 

Well, today at work, I got there and the usual worker hadn't shown up so I had to call an agency and get a casual in. Well, a man showed up was good at the work and pleasant, and then before we got to lunchtime, he asked me if I was married, why not and did I ever plan on it, would I like to be and that he is single too! I told I am seeing someone really nice because I'm almost certain he was going to ask me out so maybe that's a testimonial to Mrs. Palmer's Skin Serum.