WHY ARE SO MANY GIRLS PLAYING HARD TO GET! GIRLS RESPOND

[acts12]

Will somebody please tell me that when a girl likes a guy she will play so hard to get. Does she even know that she is doing it? Is it consciencely done? I really want to know this![/b]

[Scout]

Because we've learned that with many guys, when we show we are genuinely interested, they lose interest once we are "caught".

[ltorivia]

Scout, you have just answered my question!

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH. You have no idea how much it hurts me that once I tell guys I like them, they don't flirt anymore. So annoying!

[Scout]

It sucks. Not all guys do this, though, but just enough that it makes you really wary about showing your feelings, and in the long run, that means we could lose out on some opportunities with a truly great guy.

 

I recently had a similar experience with someone who came on very strong, then the minute I reciprocated, his calls ceased. And I'm very irritated about it!

[SilverManic]

Because many of us are fed up of being hurt? I know the amounts of times I've just come streight out with 'I like you' then I've been used because of it. The best way I found is to act like you don't like anyone. But then that one backfired too ^^;;

[acts12]

Not all guys do this, though, but just enough that it makes you really wary about showing your feelings, and in the long run, that means we could lose out on some opportunities with a truly great guy.

 

I know girls that I have been truly interested in that did this. I soon gave up because it became too hard and I felt like she was messing with me. Whether she liked me or not. It can work both ways with the guy as well. He doesnt want to throw everything out there and get rejected. Especially if he thought that she liked him. Its like sending two messages. Confusing...............

[SilverManic]

But then playing hard to get has it's limits right? Everyone knows that. Just because one girl plays 'untouchable' doesn't mean that everyone is going to.. Or so I thought ^^;; Anyway there is a boundary to how far you should go.

[DBL]

Scout was that the guy that you had the blind date with?

 

I think if the person is serious about finding a relationship then it does not matter if you come on strong. Maybe it scares them to start a relationship so strong. In some cases, it may get too serious too quick or you don't have the same things in mind as far as a relationship is concerned.

 

DBL

[swordman]

Even though I am not a girl, I know a lot about girl. So hope this will help.

Sound like she likes you too, but there is something that make her hesitate to jump into the dating situation. You might have to observe it. A lot of girls don't want to be viewed as "EASY" Maybe she is testing you. Be patient, be polite, and be pushing at the right time. Don't be too obvious at first, though.

[Day_Walker]

There is a lil trick how to deal with females that play hard to get, realize that its a game they are playing to keep you interested in them. So instead you play the game back. You only give them a limited amount of attention and you dont get attached to any female. There is going to be a time where she is gonna show that she is interested in you and thats when you make your move. Unless she shows you that she is interested in you then you dont need to waste your time wanting to be with her.\

 

People dont really play hard to get really well the usually end up giving away their position if they are interested in you and you know wut to look for. Also realize that females dont always play hard to get, there is a difference between not liking the guy and playing hard to get.

 

So in closing, play their game and realize there are too many girls out there to be hung up on one that wants to play hard to get.

[HockeyFan1616]

i dont think that girls perpously play hard to get, but they love it when someone likes them so they milk it for all it is worth. If a girl does that then they really arent worth it...so tell them u dont like them anymore. They will relize that guys hate that and they will stop. Feel free to pm me and i can give you more advice.

[acts12]

People dont really play hard to get really well the usually end up giving away their position if they are interested in you and you know wut to look for. Also realize that females dont always play hard to get, there is a difference between not liking the guy and playing hard to get.

 

 

 

Most guys should be able to tell whether a girl likes them or not. Would someone be able to tell the difference between when a girl likes them and is playing hard to get or whether she just doesnt like them? Also, if a girl is playing hard to get will she tell her friends that she likes you and maybe you can get the info out of them, or do they hold ALL their cards really close. In otherwords, do girls tell their friends everything?

[mahlina]

No, at least for me, I don't. With my friends, we don't always get into the little details about these things. I only tell my girl friends about a guy that I like, when I'm for sure that this guy is someone who I consider is serious about me, and if I am serious about him. For me, I don't like to waste my time talking about a guy who's busy playing games. If he's playing games, then he can play games with himself.

 

In general, for both Guys and Girls, if they like playing games, then to me, that just shows someone who's either slightly immature or lack experience in the dating department.

 

I have a lot to deal with in my life. Trying to get a life together. So, game playing is really the last priority on my list. Also, I like someone who has a bit of experience, in terms of dating. That way, I know that there is a balance in the relationship. At least, we both understand each other enough, where we know that playing games is useless.

 

P.S.- Re-Edit- I agree with one of the previous posters on not wanting to get hurt. Although it may appear to be that she's playing games, she really isn't. To me, when a person plays games, they intentionally do it as a way to seduce their partners. But with others, they take their time in getting to know the other person. So it's misinterpreted as playing games, when they're just only wanting to be able to trust the other partner, by not jumpoing into things too quickly. It really depends on each person. But when someone's playing games, it's a bit more obvious.

[Scout]

DBL, I just sent you a PM about the whole situation, so get out your best male advice thinking cap...

[acts12]

is the whole thing just one big test? If it is, how do you pass it?

[arwen]

I agree with Scout! We are like 'programmed' to be chased, not to do the chasing. Showing too much interest often leads to predictability, and we like it if the guy keeps making the effort.

 

However, on the long term, I think the effort should be 50-50. You can't play games all the time.

 

Ilse.

[reborn]

Hey scout,

I will let you in on a secret. Take a look at a book called the rules. It is deemed stupid by some people, yet others swear by it. It is the bible of girls that play hard to get. It teaches girls to be that way.

[acts12]

shes trying to make sure that your still interested. girls like to play hard to get to see if the guy is really worth going out with or if they're just playin them. at least thats what i think

 

Now what would you guys say about this quote that I found? I really dont understand girls. In my opinion, if the guy kept going after the girl after she ignored him, that would make him look like a worthless little puppy dog. I personally would never do that if a girl ignored me. Thats for sure

[eagles04]

i play hard to get w/ guys, beacuse ive been hurt so many times, iam not afaide to tell them how i feel but when evey i do i also get rejected all the time, ( more then 100x ) so i tend to be this way. right know iam doing this cause this kid in my class , well i dont know if hes interested in me or not, this is what he does in class to me , he stears @ me all the time, we do make eye contact, he makes sounds w/ his feet to get my atention, i do look his way when he does this, his legs are crossd, and facing my way. we do say hi when we see each other, he only came up to me once, but i go to him and talk, when i see him having a smoke, he puts it out before he comes over to me. well today in class, some of the kids was making fun of him, dont know why , he told them to stop. one of his girl thats a friends told him this, when he told eveyone thats his b-day is fri. " dont reveale to much info. " dont know what she mean by this. he always give me hints in class, what he likes and have.

[acts12]

All the guarding your heart thing is, in my opinion, is a protective wall that girls put up to keep from getting hurt. The fact is, it does more damage than it does good in my opinion because you end up sending the guy mixed signals, because you are gonna be so hot and cold (even if you are always hot, you may act cold.) The mixed signals will either a. throw the guy off and he gets uninterested. or b. He will feel that you are uninterested and, if he is smart, he will move on. Either way its not good. Like it or not girls, take it from us guys who will face rejection ( a.k.a risk) after rejection (a.k.a. risk) to find a girl who finally good for him, that you have to risk something in order to gain something good. AND, the greater the risk,.......what......yep...........the greater the payoff. Sooo, with that said, I think if girls want guys to "man up" and not be afraid to do the approaching and not fear rejection, then the girls need to "woman up" and do their side a little too! Open up, and not do things in fear of getting hurt. Things that are done in fear are never done the right way anyways. It takes two to tango.

[Breea]

Scout has it right!

 

It's just part of "the game" that cannot be avoided unfortunately. I wish it didn't have to be that way. But it's necessary as to not be taken advantage of in the long-run IMO. -Bree

[Breea]

Oh ya... and may I add:

Play or be played! It's all about control unfortunately. Again that's only my opinion.

[jamama64]

honestly NOT all girls play hard to get, but the only reason we play hard to get is because we like to see how desperate you are over us before we make a decison on if we like you or not....but hey, guys play hard to get too...so dont blame it all on us

[birdgirl]

Scout hit the nail on the head.

When I show too much interest, they lose interest. It happens almost every time! Then when they show less interest, I shift my focus to other things, and they come running back.