Should i leave my husband

[CharlieCheese]

Ok so me and my husband have been having issues since our son was born about 7 months ago and its been going down hill since then. It started with my husband and my supposed best friend talking about running away together and how he would divorce me for her, leave me, our son and bring up her child as his own, this has been going on for several months and i only know this because i went through his phone, which i know was wrong but i got paranoid, especially when he started to get very protective of his phone to the point where i couldn't even check the time on it. So i went through his phone again this morning when he was in bed to see if he had sent her anything else, to find not only more messages to her but also when i went to bed last night he had started dirty texting his ex describing what they would do to each other in bed, what happened when they had had sex before and that they met up when i was heavily pregnant when he was meant to be working and if he hadnt have had his friend with him they would've had sex. among these texts were naked pictures of her, pictures of him and her masturbating sent to each other. When he got up i pulled him up about it he said i was a paranoid wreck and he was only filthy texting his ex to hurt her feelings and said that i was hallucinating the pictures he sent to her! Then he started to blame his Aspergers. He's now saying it was me who drove him to wanting to be with my "best friend" because for a couple of months after having a c section i was hurting to much to have sex but she was there poisoning his mind saying i didnt want him anymore. I dont know what to do he knows i love him with all my heart and would never hurt him intentionally but he seems hell bent on hurting me. Please help any advise would be much appreciated

[FYI]

It sounds like your husband has already left, so there's really no reason to continue sticking around.

[CharlieCheese]

But since bringing it up with his he has deleted their numbers and said he wouldnt talk to them again i just dont know whether to believe him and stay or go

[becomingkate]

I'm so sorry. Obviously, he's desperate and trying to turn it around on you or blame anyone or anything without having to take responsibility. It's been going on for some time, so it doesn't seem like he's going to stop this behaviour.

 

Are you able to leave?

[CharlieCheese]

Thats another thing i cant leave because my husband has said if we get divorced he'll get a residency order so i cant go to england with my boy and i'll not leave my baby

[Crazyaboutdogs]

But since bringing it up with his he has deleted their numbers and said he wouldnt talk to them again i just dont know whether to believe him and stay or go

 

I would not believe him. Look at the level he has stooped to..cheating, lying, nasty accusations at you...he has now shown you who he really is. This is a major dark side and you will never be emotionally safe with him again. For your own emotional well-being it is time to leave. With his attitude, chances are he will do this again to you.

[CharlieCheese]

If i did stay with him i know i'll never trust him but at the same time i dont want to split him away from our son i personnaly want to leave but its easier said than done because of our child

[becomingkate]

Thats another thing i cant leave because my husband has said if we get divorced he'll get a residency order so i cant go to england with my boy and i'll not leave my baby

 

Then I would discuss the issue with an attorney so that you know what your rights are. It sounds like he has it all worked out so that he can keep cheating, and that doesn't sound like it would be a very happy childhood for your son.

[Miss Firecracker]

The cruelest thing you could ever do to your son is stay in this marriage. He deserves a real life. I would rather be dirt poor than have a husband like him. Your son's life and yours are over if you stay with this man. I feel sick calling him a man.

[CharlieCheese]

Thank you ladies for all the advice it really has helped. I hope im making the right decision by leaving him. All i want is for my wee man to be happy

[Seraphim]

Talk to a lawyer right away.

[IAmFCA]

Anyone who uses your need to recover after surgery is a louse. A selfish, inhumane, ground-slithering underling of the underworld. Go, heal, with haste. He will be low mean and underhanded in the divorce process. Go. I am so so sorry this has happened to you. You will recover.