sunflower Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Well what I wanted him to say he said it. He asked for me back. But now IM thinking second thoughts. His exact words were "It feels really good seeing you again. I missed u so much. I really would like to start over with you. Act as if we first met. Fall in love all over again. Im not ready for anything serious RIGHT NOW but Im open to the possibility. WhatI am trying to do now igs get my life together. And I see you are too. But Id love to date you and see what happens. Im not promising it will turn into someting serious because I dont know. You want to go to europe etc...I d like to just gow it the flow and if we get serious see what happens--see if its emant to be. But we'll never know until we try. All I know is I really mis you a lot." What THE HELL do I do??? These are ALL THE THINGS I wanted him to say but everyone says Im walking on glass! And it DID feel good seeing him, yesterday....I had a great day at work so when I saw him he saw I was happy and moving on. I think whenever Im like that it attracts him to me more. The independent thing. So Im just gonna do my own thing like Ive been doing this month and maybe he WILL realize its tme to change? I DONT KNOW!! Link to comment
Australia Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Hi Glad to know that he is contacting you again with such letter. However, before you get back with him. Ask yourself why he broken up with you in the first place, otherwise, having this relationship again could fall for the same reason one day! See if both of you can solve the problems from last time. Best of luck. Link to comment
SwingFox Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Hi sunflower, Thank you so much for your update. I am pleased to hear that things are going so well for you. I understand that you're not quite sure wether you should go back to him or not and that you feel somewhat uncertain over it. My rule in life is: "Communication leads to a better understanding." I am not in favor of mind games like you suggested. I just would come upfront and tell him either that you ARE going back or that you are NOT going back, but that's just silly ol' me. Before you go back to him, though, try to set boundaries. Think of what you would and won't accept in a relationship and evaluate if he can meet those needs or at least meet you somewhere in the middle. I hope that this helped you on your way and I wish you good luck and a bright future starting here. ~ SwingFox ~ Link to comment
sunflower Posted May 10, 2003 Author Share Posted May 10, 2003 Hi! Well...its hard because all my friends and family are against it simply because he is young and their scared of me getting hurt. I decided that I am going to tell him that for now I just want to be friends...and maybe hang out once a week for a few hours at a cafe or sometrhing. And Im not gonna jump into anything serious with him until I see he is making changes for himself as well as for me. Once I see that, yes I can fall back in love with him and start over. (I am still in love with him but Im not gonna let him know Im giving in) . Every time hes asked me back out (well we only broke up twice including this one) I always gave in. Not this time. This time its going to take a litle more effort than that. What do u guys think? Am I wasting my time? I mean Im asking him to set more ambition in his life, stop lying, and proove to me Im worthy. he just turned 20 is there a chance or am I wasting my time.... Link to comment
Der17 Posted May 11, 2003 Share Posted May 11, 2003 Sunflower, I think your cautious approach is the right one....most people on this site are caught between moving on and holding some hope of their ex wanting them back...I'm one of them but that's another story. Be careful, something didn't work the first time and that is the baggage that will come in the second time unless it is dealt with immediately by talking it out....it's much easier to deal with the issues now that you are not as involved than throw yourself back into a relationship only to find the same issues coming back to haunt you. Trust me, they will if they are not dealt with. I wish I was in your position to have that choice but if I ever am I would insist on both myself and my ex partner dealing with the issues that caused her to leave the relationship the first time. You are the one in control now and have the right to call the shots. Get all the questions and concerns and any doubts that you have out now.....it's up to him to justify and earn the right to come back into your life.. Good luck Der17 Link to comment
Bones28 Posted May 11, 2003 Share Posted May 11, 2003 Congrats Sunflower, I know you missed him very much and understand exactly how you feel. If you love him, meet with him discuss what went wrong previously and then decide what to do. Follow your heart and let it mkae your decisions, while they may not always work out, I know you've be heartbroken so maybe you deserve some joy. But be careful not to let him hurt you again. I think we all wish we were in your position and I pray that someday I am...sounds pathetic but as you know, its something to hope for...good luck, you deserve it Link to comment
sunflower Posted May 11, 2003 Author Share Posted May 11, 2003 Thanks a lot guys... But how come I dont feel so lucky? my mom is against it, my friends are against it... We broke up because we were always fighting because I couldnt trust him because of past lies hes given to me. they were all dumb lies. But I do still love him--we been together for 2 yrs and its oly been a month since weve broken up. We have discussed what went wrong--he knows all his faults. And that is why he told me he wants to start over and go very slowly this time. As if we first met. I just need advice on what I should do--hes 20 yrs old--I am looking for true committment--am I wasting my time? Will he never change? Will my family and friends accept him? Its very difficult. My heart is saying go for it but the logical part is saying--BE CAREFUL. So I really honestly need some advice....I thought Id be jumoing for joy at this. But I am just afraid hes going to continue lying and talking and not putting action to his words. Link to comment
Bones28 Posted May 11, 2003 Share Posted May 11, 2003 Sunflower, I guess I can understand why you are not jumping with joy. This decision is harder for us to make then telling you how to get oer him or make yourself feel better. Only you can truly tell if he is going to be the Man you want and the man you think he can be. Do take it slow, but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, so maybe this is what you needed to realize he is the right one and your just going to have to work at it. I wish you luck and keep updating. Link to comment
sunflower Posted May 11, 2003 Author Share Posted May 11, 2003 yeah your right. I thought a lot about everything...hes giving me time to think. And I think I am just going to totally go with the flow if hes willing to try and change. Im going to London in November for 8 months...so its all a big risk all this. Thats why I need to see him once in a blue moon get updates on hown hes doing and if he really changed for himself it will draw me back to him. If hes still the same then at least Id have moved on .... This is all so complex! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now