Ex asked me to pet sit while he goes out of town with new GF

[heythereinsd]

Hello,

 

My ex and I were together over 7 years, we bought a condo together then built a house that I currently live in till it gets sold. Of course up to this point I was hoping that we would get back together once everything settled because we were both under a lot of stress and had a lot of disagreements etc. etc...... But knew we had the fundamentals of a good relationship or we wouldn't have come this far... Bygones!

 

So we had been broken up for 4 months when he met someone new. We have been on LC because of the house and other things but he called me on Mon to see if I would watch his dog for him while he went out of town this weekend. At first I said yes because I thought it was a family emergency or something and I do miss puppy, would love to see him etc. But then I found out it was not an emergency and he updated his fb status to in a relationship with "her" today (they have only been seeing each other for 6 weeks).

 

His last conversation with me: Oh he wants to be single and travel for a few years next year, she knows where I stand, I don't want to plant any roots, we're not serious.. Yadda yadda..... My A$$, this chick is in her 40's and jonesing for a relationship or she wouldn't have been updating her fb profile pic every week with a new pic of them. Side note: As soon as she made her profile pic a picture of her with my dog, I started telling myself... he's not my dog anymore and I have to accept the fact that I will never see him again and wham, a call. (Sorry went on a tangent lol )

 

I am so taken back because it's like a slap in the face! How could you??? I mean, I love his dog (he was mine for 7 years too) and I miss him but to ask me while you are telling the world that you are in a serious relationship with someone else and asking your ex to pet sit while you go on a trip with your new girlfriend. What the heck do I look like? A fool?

 

Anyway... once I found this out I called him and told him as much as I love puppy, he is not my dog anymore and I admitted it was a slap in the face to ask me while he is taking his new girlfriend on a trip. He doesn't understand my position, thinks I am the bad guy here and said he only asked because he knew I missed puppy and thought it would be beneficial for both of us and it doesn't matter if he is with someone else because we are not together anymore. Right !! but he has only let me see puppy 1 time since he left 5 months ago and we are not friends. So it's only beneficial when he needs it to be!?!

 

I am no fool!!!! He is showing me more of his true colors every day and every day I get stronger and stronger

[bw92116]

Good for you. He can hire someone else to be a dog sitter. $20 per visit. I admire your strength.

[sportsguy9981]

I would honestly tell him you would, then I would take the dog to the pound, just to prove something to him. Maybe then the dog would get an owner who doesnt have a screw loose.

[HeartGoesOn]

Wow...How sleazy is that!

 

I'm sorry this happened, yet happy that you stood up for yourself. You Go Girl!

[InkedDragon]

Great job! Just note that the only benefits were for HIM not for both of you. High five!

[luminousone]

I about choked when I read the title of your thread! He must be related to my narcissistic ex!!!

 

See one of my old threads from a few years ago:

 

 

 

How self centered and insensitive.

 

I know it hurts now, but in a year you will be thanking him for setting you free from his narcissistic ways...

[luminousone]

I would honestly tell him you would, then I would take the dog to the pound, just to prove something to him. Maybe then the dog would get an owner who doesnt have a screw loose.

 

But please don't take it out on the dog...

[heythereinsd]

But please don't take it out on the dog...

 

No way! I Love that dog and it killed me to say no because I know as well as my ex knows he is best with me or my mom (who used to be the pet sitter for the past 7 years) and of course his family. But I just couldn't let myself be a doormat! Sux

[heythereinsd]

I about choked when I read the title of your thread! He must be related to my narcissistic ex!!!

 

See one of my old threads from a few years ago:

 

 

 

How self centered and insensitive.

 

I know it hurts now, but in a year you will be thanking him for setting you free from his narcissistic ways...

 

LOL I am starting to believe that he is a narcissist. Started writing down all his good and bad qualities and that was what I came up with. I love him and would have done anything to make it work but he has wasted enough of my time.

[shellyf62]

Maybe you need to stop reading his FB...it sound too upsetting for you!

[heythereinsd]

Thanks everyone!! I am proud of myself even though I do want to see puppy and he thinks I am the crazy one. He actually hung up on me after saying "I wish you would have told me this on Monday... " Well on Monday I didn't know it was to celebrate your new relationship A$$. Of course I didn't say that. hehe sucks being let down doesn't it... Ok I promise I am not bitter, just venting!

 

I don't hate him but now I know it's over..

[heythereinsd]

Maybe you need to stop reading his FB...it sound too upsetting for you!

 

Actually knowing is what is making me stronger. Before I still had hope!

[heythereinsd]

I about choked when I read the title of your thread! He must be related to my narcissistic ex!!!

 

See one of my old threads from a few years ago:

 

 

 

How self centered and insensitive.

 

I know it hurts now, but in a year you will be thanking him for setting you free from his narcissistic ways...

 

 

WOW.... I read your thread. Totally the same. My ex probably thinks I am being vindictive and trying to punish him too. But I am not! I am not like that at all and deep down he knows it but he is probably telling everyone that I am.

[chickydoodle]

I think unfortunately you are going to have to let go of 'puppy' and your Love for him or it will keep you in some way bound to this guy; a guy who is 'missing something ' regarding sensitivity, empathy, selflessness, apropriatness, honesty, nobility.......all the traits you deserve to have in a r'ship.

i think you should be relieved you didnt waste more years with him. Altho 7yrs is long, it isnt as long as some. People like him have a knack of making you feel you are the crazy one, perceiving things in a warped way....they are clever at this....

 

For true NC and moving on and healing , you are gonna have to give up on the dog also IMO.

[heythereinsd]

Thanks Chickydoodle....In his defense he probably feels ( I do as well) that I owe it to him since he is paying all the mortgage on our house while I am the one living in it. When he left he knew I couldn't and he made that choice because I offered to leave.

 

Everything you have said though is true and my head needs to repeat it because people have been telling me this for years about how they view him. Gosh I was so blind.

 

Not saying I didn't have my own faults, well heck... At least I admitted my faults in the relationship and apologized. He has not yet offered the same. Oh, he said " Thank you for the kind words I'm sure I made mistakes too.."

[buddha55]

what a crazy guy! plus I could only imagine all the "new" gfs crap you would have to see floating around the APT. probably exactly what he wanted.

 

good for you!

[heythereinsd]

what a crazy guy! plus I could only imagine all the "new" gfs crap you would have to see floating around the APT. probably exactly what he wanted.

 

good for you!

 

Actually he was going to drop him off at our (I mean my) house

[Elektra22]

Wow he sounds like one sick, manipulative, disgusting slimeball. Giving mad props to you for not losing it on him and telling him no in a grounded way. Just the absolute sheer nerve of him astounds me. He doesn't deserve a dog, just what comes out of a dog's hind end if you ask me!

[toby17]

no way! I love that dog and it killed me to say no because i know as well as my ex knows he is best with me or my mom (who used to be the pet sitter for the past 7 years) and of course his family. But i just couldn't let myself be a doormat! Sux

 

good on you!!!

[heythereinsd]

He doesn't deserve a dog, just what comes out of a dog's hind end if you ask me!

 

Naaa.. he is a good dog daddy (even though I was the one that taught him to be a responsible pet owner and walk his dog, pick up the poo- before he met me he just let him in the back yard- had him get fixed, made him go to the vet, was the disciplinary in the family (ex would let puppy get away with everything), etc...) But if I got even half the love he had towards puppy we may have not had so many issues I guess.

 

I always felt second best to puppy and was a bit jealous. Sad because I am a huge animal lover, taking care of animals is what I do for a living.. Which is why of course he would ask me I guess.... He knows I love puppy and have been involved with him for 7.5 of his 10 years and he only has a couple more years left.

 

And when I say I will do something I do, so going back on my word was really hard.

 

Just the absolute sheer nerve of him astounds me.

 

My thoughts exactly!

[Ms Darcy]

Well, I would not want to dog-sit either in that case. Good for you.

[Elektra22]

Sorry Heythereinsd that was just my poor attempt at humor (although I still maintain ok maybe he can be a good pet owner, but is still deserving of some dog poo considering what he just tried to dump on you), not that what he's done to you is funny in any way whatsover. I am a huge dog lover also and when me and my ex broke up he got our dog too and it killed me that I couldn't take care of him so I cannot imagine if he had asked me to do what your ex expected of you... I probably would have developed some new Italian curse words exclusively for him, but you handled it with total class and grace. I just cannot tolerate how cruel and thoughtless exes can be in matters regarding pets or something of this nature- knowing how attached you can be to them and expecting you to accommodate this request (while you're still trying to deal with the double loss of him and your pet & maybe or maybe not intentionally rubbing his new relationship in your face) was just beyond asinine! Additionally, he just really is outdoing himself in the douchebag department by also trying to make you feel guilty and disparage you on top of everything else for not going along with his imebecilic request.

[heythereinsd]

No harm, I get it lol.. I would love to rub poo on his car... Just kidding! But you are right, I am dealing with the loss of my best friend, my love, my dog and he is forcing me to sell the house we just built. he is a jerk! At the same time telling me he wants to cut all ties to me, but then asks me to watch puppy. He may not be rubbing new girl in my face but all other doings he is a complete douchebag!

 

 

 

Not sure about that, but I do know I didn't lose my cool or cry

[heythereinsd]

Wow, this feels great! For almost 8 years now I have been defending every action he has done. I now see the light on how I was treated and am finally realizing he was not good for me. Me standing by his side ALL THE TIME while he didn't stand by my side and me accepting it was my own fault. This situation was the eye opener! I don't wish ill will on either of them but it feels good to be honest with myself on how I was treated instead of making excuses.

[CeeLambrini]

I feel for you, last weekend I took the bait of dog-sitting. It was supposed to be an overnight trip and he was going somewhere 2 hours away. I went upstairs to "our" room only to find that it had a girls stuff everywhere. Still the same furnishings as how we decorated it as well, my pillows, my bed sheets etc. He had told me he had a girlfriend, but she had broken up with him weeks ago. I was fuming that he'd put me in that position. We were supposed to be friends, but I've deleted him off all social networks and messengers - we're obviously not friends when he lies to me about things like that.