bad boys vs nice guys

[joe45]

what exactly is a bad boy? nice guys yea i sure now what that is? but bad booy what are they and what is a BB. how would i act or talk like a BB and why do gals love BB. myself and 2 of my buds i would are single b/c we follow through from the nice guys and that is why we lack a gf. so how do u act or do something that is BB boyish. i mean do u wear a leather jacket, talk like how u doin . lol

i thought and was taught to treat ppl like ur going to treat urself and how would u feel ....

one way i thought about it was like this don't pay for every date u go on just for the first couple of dates b/c if ur a guy who pays for every date even if ur old school and have the money-ur considered a nice guy and chixs hate that.

[Beec]

I think that one of the things so-called "nice guys" do is be timid. "Bad boys" are unlikely to be so. Often, NGs take a woman out, open doors, pay for dinner, look into her eyes but wihtout showing any animal lust, jsut seeking to see if she has any feeling for us. BBs are more likely to look at woman with lust, to look at her and make it clear he is checking out more than her mind. NGs ask for a kiss or finally lean in for a gentle one of the third date. BBs just kiss her. You don't have to be a BB to adopt some of the things they do.

[Starkitty]

Please don't act like a badboy just to get chicks. You gotta be yourself otherwise you'll be doing something you won't feel comfatable with and it'll look weird to anyone that already knows your a nice guy. I agree with Beec, I just noticed his post and hes said all that I wanted to..

[Darknova12]

I consider myself to be a "nice guy" and its hard.... but it DOES pay off...holding doors and paying for drinks and movie tickets does eventually give you an edge (a subtle edge)

 

I heard the best quote from an X-Man movie if you'll believe it, but its true flirt with the bad boy, They go home with the good guy though..."

 

all of the girls I know who saw the movie agree with it, so if your a nice guy, use it to the best of your abilities, knowing full well that 98% of the time you'll come off ontop in the end, and you dont have to act like a pompous jerk to get there....

[DopeStar]

What are you gonna do? I mean it happens, they like the "BB"s. It's because they're not nice all the time. You know that little kid that looks up to you like your a god of some sort, to him you are the coolest person in the whole world? Think about how annoying that is.

 

Would you like to hang out with that kid all the time? Have him around asking questions? Always standing at your feet waiting for you to go somewhere so he can follow you.

 

That's what a "NG" is to a girl and it's not just annoying, it's boring. The BB is exciting to them. He says "We are going here for dinner then we are going to do this" while the NG says "What do you want to do, are you hungry or do you want to go do something?". See the difference yet?

 

Oh and the NG are lying to the girl. Now that's messed up but it's true. Think about this, girls like to have sex just as much as guys do, really. BB let the girl know this, they do it through touching her, smelling her, checking her out while she's looking at him. The NGs don't do this, they hold that back because it's not "nice". Instead they buy her things, ask her for the kiss when you barely touched her all night.

 

Ok guys, why do we like girls? We like them because they're soft and they smell good and we would like to have sex with them.

 

You NGs though, You buy her things hoping she will like you more, you ask her what she wants to do to make sure she is happy but you never show why. You give and give in hopes that she will wnat to have sex with you but in reality she not getting horny, shes getting confused. You ask her to go out with you but what happens is you follow her around buying things for her. You don't touch her or stand to close to her(because it's not polite) and she has no idea what the reason you asked her out for. Maybe its not lying you do but your definatly not telling her the whole truth.

 

 

This is not the truth either

 

"Girls flirt with the bad boy, They go home with the good guy though..."

 

Ok a quick recap since I doubt that I manages to explain all these points

BB

Makes descisions so the girl doesn't to do all the work

Doesn't hide how she makes him feel

Is fun and exciting

Oh and doesn't take her crap(girls liek when you say no to them)

 

NG

Boring

Makes the girl make all the descisions

Doesn't show the girl how she makes him feel

Obeys her every command

 

Now the BB is not the girls first choice either and thoses lists are teh shortened version but this post is long enough and I don't feel like explaing right now.

 

IF your confused on any of this I will gladly explain it for you later, let me know.

[chanceit]

I think nice guys and bad boys both are bad. I mean they're both looking to just get laid - just happens the bad boys are actually good at it.

 

I'd rather be me.

[Beec]

I think nice guys and bad boys both are bad. I mean they're both looking to just get laid - just happens the bad boys are actually good at it.

 

I'd rather be me.

 

I disagree. But I also disagree to just categorizing.

 

What we think of as the bad boy, may or may not be looking just to get laid. But, generally, he knows how to tell her he wants her. He may be looking for more than just sex.

 

What we think of as the Nice Guy may be looking for just sex or more, but he watches too many things like that stupid new movie with Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon, learn to dance and show up with flowers and she will love you. Right. It's not a bad thing, if he does this, but that's not a real answer.

 

The answer is for the nice guy to learn some of the skills of the player. Then hopefully, he uses it to get her for more than just sex.

[ComputerGuy]

Personally, I'm the type who will open a door, help a girl out of the car, pay for dinner, ask for a kiss, etc. and even if its the opposite of this, the bad boy image, that gets the girls, I blatantly refuse to lower myself just to get a g/f.

[DaXMan]

Personally, I'm the type who will open a door, help a girl out of the car, pay for dinner, ask for a kiss, etc. and even if its the opposite of this, the bad boy image, that gets the girls, I blatantly refuse to lower myself just to get a g/f.

 

I am the same way. Anyway, if a girl doesn't go out with u for whatever reason, they'll still likely want to keep the relationship going if you are more "nice" than "bad"/

[Bjourne]

If you pay for all the dates, the girl will get used to it. That is probably not good cause you probably dont want to and cant afford to pay for all her meals. thereforeeee you should ONLY pay 50%. Why?

 

Cause I think on dates, you should ASSERT that she enjoys it as much (if not more than) you. And if you pay, she will think that you think she's a hobo who cant afford to date.

 

I think BB = assertive and NG = submissive. And girls like assertive guys.. In general.. Some DO enjoy boys they can boss around. But would you want such a chick ... ?

[DopeStar]

Personally, I'm the type who will open a door, help a girl out of the car, pay for dinner, ask for a kiss, etc. and even if its the opposite of this, the bad boy image, that gets the girls, I blatantly refuse to lower myself just to get a g/f.

 

 

Then I hope you enjoy getting used, because that's what your setting yourself up for. The holding doors, that's cool, help her out of the car that's cool too, the paying for all her meals, not good, as bjourne put it, she's gonna get use to it and then begin to expect it all the time and she will never pay for anything. At the end of your dates when you ask the girl for a kiss, she gonna realize that you think the world of her after only one date. She's going to see this and depending on exactly what type of girl she is she will start to abuse this priviledge you gave her right away, by not kissing you and the such, or later on when she gets bored of having to tell you when to make a move. Girls are going to get bored of you taking all there crap and buying them things to "fix" the problem instead of being a man and telling them to shutup when their complaining gets out of line(when they do that they are testing your manhood and would like to see you tell them to shutup over being bought something, since that's what a man would do)

 

You need to stop being so polite and start being a man about things, girls don't need to be or want to be treated like queens. Queens have to much responsibility and girls don't want to take on such a task, they would rather you do that so they can just tag along and and feel special becuase they are with such a strong confident, no BS man.

 

If I remember correctly your last GF went out to a bar and had sex with two different guys in a car one night. Do you know why? Because she was bored and needed a man who was going to "just do things" instead of waiting for her to give the ok.

 

Edit Added this here since it won't fit in my Sig.

The only way to really understand what is going on is through humility, for it is only in that state of humility that Nature is viewed undistorted by our petty systems and philosophies.

[MiquelAngelo]

Well actually I've been the BAD BOY and one thing I notice is that women would actually confess their love for me and THEY would invite me to the movies and dinner. That was actually quite cool for me BUT when I really sat down and thought about it I noticed that I didn't love any of these women. I was just enjoying the attention (not to mention the great sex). I didn't really respect these women because they liked the BAD BOY in me and that just showed me how LOW their self esteem was. On the other hand I get pissed because if I were to treat them like a Princess they would probably not be interested in me at all.

Sad but true,but whats a guy to do?

[Beec]

What's a guy to do? Be a little of both. Which would make youan enigma, and then chicks will really dig you.

 

The nice, smart, church-going guy who can impress her parents, he's the guy if he can also hang with the bad boys, live a bit on the edge and let her he wants her in a physical way, and then make it so she never knows which of part is going to show up when they are alone. That's the guy to be.

[SecondChance]

OK, OK, this one's way to good to pass up

 

First of all, ComputerGuy, although I don't always agree with Dopestar, his comment on the "paying for dinner" is RIGHT ON. If you're the kind of guy who always pays for dinner, you'll attract the kind of girl who expects you to. And believe me, there are plenty of smart and independent and (add whatever adjective you want) women out there who understand that gender equality means that money is about power, and power works best when it is shared equally in the relationship - so sometimes the guy pays, sometimes the girl pays, sometimes both pay, whatever - but it's EQUAL, or mutually decided and agreed upon.

 

OK - Secondly, everyone has their own definition of Nice Guys and Bad Boys!!! If you define a Nice Guy as a submissive, wimpy, Mama's Boy, then sure, NO woman wants that! (well, most women...) And if a Bad Boy is assertive, flirtatious and promisuous --- well, a lot of women like the assertive and flirtatious part, at least.

 

BUT, let me redefine the categories from a female point of view - a NICE GUY is honest, emotionally healthy, and can talk about his feelings. He is ALSO assertive and can stand up for himself in a relationship, and at the same time, knows how to COMPROMISE. He is direct about sex but willing to wait, TOTALLY able to be friends with women, and isn't afraid of committment. And I DO know SOME guys who are like this.

 

BAD BOYS, on the other hand, are promiscuous, unfaithful and commitment-phobic. They may be good looking and extremely sexy and exciting to be with during the early stages of a relationship, but they can't talk about their feelings or resolve conflict, and they also may be prone to anger-management problems.

 

Now, I know these aren't the original definitions, but this is from a female viewpoint. The question of course then, is, why do "all the women" go for Bad Boys? To be honest, most women I know want Nice Guys, according to my definition, and are constantly moaning about the LACK of Nice Guys around them - which I'm sure is nowhere near around YOU guys, because you all are Nice Guys, right?

 

It's the women with the self-esteem problems who go for the Bad Boys in my experience. Some of these women are very beautiful, and are probably pursued by Nice Guys, and when the Nice Guys lose out, they ask the very question that started this whole post.

 

So there - this question has been answered now and forever more. 8)

[MiquelAngelo]

a NICE GUY is honest, emotionally healthy, and can talk about his feelings. He is ALSO assertive and can stand up for himself in a relationship, and at the same time, knows how to COMPROMISE. He is direct about sex but willing to wait, TOTALLY able to be friends with women, and isn't afraid of committment. And I DO know SOME guys who are like this.

 

THANX "SECOND" YOU ACTUALLY DESCRIBED ME

[jw43677]

It is amazing how wrong some of you really are about women. You may be very right when it comes to shallow women, who care about money, image, and what their friends will be saying about them the next day.

 

ComputerGuy is right. Women appreciate the kinds of things he is talking about. A GOOD woman, will never take advantage of a man offering to pay for all her meals, she will actually refuse it a good portion of the time, but she will appreciate the thought. It seems like you guys out there all want to attract a "hot" woman who has no real personality. But let me tell you there are plenty of "hot" women that will be just as nice, and they really do not go for the "bad boy." Because to a "good" woman, a bad boy will just hurt her, and that is not something she is looking for. ComputerGuy seems like the only one who really understands a woman on here, at least, understands the good women. In the end, a good woman is looking for a "nice guy", not the kind that is pretending to be nice, but the genuinely nice guy. Because, trust me, we can tell when you are trying to get us into bed, or when you are really just being nice, because that is how you treat all your dates.

[vimora]

I gotta agree with secondchance on this one. Most of my friends and I prefer the nice guy. Sure, if we're dancing in a club and get pursued by bad boys we enjoy it and it makes for good gossip the next day, but we know it won't last. They're just there for fun. Sure we like to check them out and say stupid cliché things like " I'd like to take him home with me" but again, all in good fun and nothing lasting.

 

The guys we talk about as being ideal guys are nice guys, they're the ones that somehow worm themselves into your mind and stay there. They're charming and galant- open the doors, protect you from the rain, pay for meals (initially-then we gotta try to even things out). They're the ones that are comfortable talking with you and are honest about how they feel about you.

 

There is a difference however between nice guys. Some can be assertive and decide on what we should do on a date- we girls like that, sometimes asking "what do you feel like doing?" back and forth is pretty annoying- you should ask that once and then be ready with a suggestion so you don't look indecisive and unsure. We like guys that are respectful to the elderly, your parents, nice to kids etc. we also like them sexy, handsome and charming. I've met these guys, they exist- they can take charge when it counts, they can make you melt but at the same time they are thoughtful and just plain old funny and nice.

 

Disagree if you want but the majority of girls I know echo my sentiments more or less.

[RayKay]

I agree with a couple other girls who posted above me here. Personally don't have ANY time for bad boys. Mess with me, or treat anyone with disrespect (whether you know them or I know them or not) and I will be out of there. That is NOT attractive to me in any way. Compassion, tolerance, kindness and a big heart are tremendously important to me.

 

Those who go for bad boys have self esteem issues of their own - come on, I want a partner - not someone I have to rescue or worry about all the time. Someone who adds to my life, not diminishes it or adds stress! Bad boys sometimes seem more present - and seem to win more, but only because they are also the ones to brag about it. Bad boys will only break your heart if you let them, and since they are not for me...no thanks, I won't have to worry about it!

 

Sure they say nice guys finish last - but only because they mean no one else comes after them

 

I am a big lover of nice guys...so all nice guys, stay strong and you WILL be well rewarded in the end! I promise. Good people find good people, those who look over you because you are nice, are not the ones you want anyway, trust me!

[JustBlazeBabe]

im the typical good girl who falls for the bad guy

why?

Because its so damn sexy to have an independent, tough man beside me who knows what he wants and does anything to get it. But when it comes to me he would do anything in the world to make me happy. I like the bad boy because when he goes out of his way to be romantic it means so much more, because you know its not part of his routine on how to treat a girl. It makes me feel more special. And its so cute to know that even though it seems he doesnt care about anything in the world, if he didnt have me he would be completely lost and helpless. I like the bad boy because i like the challenge of getting to know them, get them to let down their guard, because under every bad boy their is a good guy inside. And its so cute to watch the bad guy turn into the good guy just for me

[mahlina]

What is a bad boy? Everyone has their own preference. But for me, a bad boy is a guy who I will never bring home to meet my mom, and will never let him meet my baby cousins! My last ex was a bad boy. Sure, he was sexy at times, but his potty mouth was disgusting. After a while, his attitude was silly. It was nothing but pathetic. Instead of looking 'manly,' to me, he looked like a little 'prick.'

 

A Real Man to me, is someone who's not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. He's compassionate, intellegent, open-minded, has a good heart, and is brave. If he believes in fighting to keep chivalry alive, then he's a keeper, somone who I will bring home to my mama. Nothing's more sexy than a guy who has a good heart, and doesn't give up the fight, by not buying into the BB image.

[ComputerGuy]

If I remember correctly your last GF went out to a bar and had sex with two different guys in a car one night. Do you know why? Because she was bored and needed a man who was going to "just do things" instead of waiting for her to give the ok.

 

OK, I think that warrants some defense on my behalf. First off, she went out and did this in the back of a car while I was hospital awaiting surgery. Secondly, what makes you so damn sure that just because I am nice and respectful towards women that I'm just an indecisive pushover and will put up with anything. From where I stand all her actions did was show a complete lack of respect for herslef and a complete lack of respect for me. I may be nice, but I am certainly not boring and submissive.

 

There is a difference however between nice guys. Some can be assertive and decide on what we should do on a date- we girls like that, sometimes asking "what do you feel like doing?" back and forth is pretty annoying- you should ask that once and then be ready with a suggestion so you don't look indecisive and unsure. We like guys that are respectful to the elderly, your parents, nice to kids etc. we also like them sexy, handsome and charming. I've met these guys, they exist- they can take charge when it counts, they can make you melt but at the same time they are thoughtful and just plain old funny and nice.

 

That there is a lot closer to what I am like. I will have a plan in my head if I decide to go out somewhere, If I dont have a particular plan, than yeah, I ask "What do you want to do?" but at the same time I always have something in my head for if they say "I dont know what do you want to do". Asking them where they want to go isnt anything about needing their approval in the sense I'm too weak to make up my own mind, its more that there is no point taking her somewhere if she actually hates the idea and wants nothing to do with it. As for paying, yeah I pay, I trust the girl not to use me, but I puit the offer there.

 

You only know me from what I have posted on here so i won't hold it against you, but don't presume to know every aspect of someone's characteristics based on ur stereotypes until you actually know the person. I am not weak, I do not let girls walk all over me, I just show them respect and as long as they dont give me reason to do otherwise, I trust them to be respectful back. Being submissive/assertive has nothing to do with being nice and respectful.

[JonnyG]

Afaik when it comes down to it many younger girls like the BBs and older girls (30+) like the NGs.

 

Girls love the excitment a BB can offer, more excitment generally than the NG. They also have the habit of hurting them more often as BB tend not to want to stick around too long on their endless conquest to meet many women, however it is worth the risk.

 

When girls get older and are hurt enough or come to their senses they realise that overall the NG is the 1 they want. Perhaps he isn't the most fun, but he is ideal in terms of being a faithful and loving husband and would make a good father.

 

Im the nice guy, and will continue to be the nice guy, although I sometimes add the odd BB trait. Like som1 mentioned, treat other's how u would like to be treated. Just because u treat some1 well doesnt make u a push over, there are limitations as Computerguy mentioned. A nice girl or a girl with common sense will realise that u are much better overall.

[PAdreamer]

Alright, gotta put in my two cents here! ComputerGuy is anything but boring! He's a fun guy with a great personality. Let's not make it personal alright? Everyone is here doing there best to get help or give advice. Let's leave it at that.

[Andy Scott]

A little off topic for a moment...but I noticed that when the women came in and put their 2 cents in, everything seemed to....slide into place. Anyone else notice that?

 

I think a lot of nice guys in their early years of dating and going through relationships may, at some point in time, feel like being a bad boy would make the girl want him more. I'm talking bad boy in the respect that he's direct enough to get attention and let the girl know he wants her. But, even though I don't remember who, someone mentioned before that trying to act like someone other than what you come 'equipped' with is going to come out akward. I really agree with that! Why should you have to change yourself for a girl if she's special and potentially someone you could live with for the rest of your life? She will love you for who you are, and that's all. Then again, as the relationship goes on, especially into marriage, there's nothing wrong with changing small things about yourself for the better, right? You can be willing to change, but not who you are in soul and in heart.

 

The difference between a nice guy and a bad boy is maturity. A nice guy has taken the time in life to realize that doing nice things for women will, in the long run, come back to reward them (wink wink). A bad boy is stuck on being direct and in denial of expressing his own feelings. The wall built up by someone who is stuck on getting attention and lust rather than love and compassion cannot commit, and have an even harder time staying happy. Example:

 

Anyone seen 'Something's Gotta Give?' Harry had been dating younger girls for most of his life, up to his current age which was 63 (i think). Anyway, not important. What really mattered was that what he was mistaking physical heart problems for emotional heart problems! He had moved on from his old self that was unglued from commitment and the feeling of being 'together' and transformed into someone who felt lonely and in need of love, compassion, and commitment.

 

Now, out of context, most bad boys are PROBABLY younger than 63, and will move on to needing a soulmate much earlier than that, but you get the idea right? Msg back with comments or if you want more clarity!

 

 

- Andy