DaXMan
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A possible revelation about my days in high school
DaXMan replied to DaXMan's topic in Dating Advice
Perhaps there were other things, but I don't know if they made a real impact. Using myself as an example, I remember people for who they were in high school, not middle school. In middle school, I was just a normal guy - nothing special about me. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't an outcast either. I wasn't very very attractive, but I wasn't ugly. In high school, things changed. Some opportunities that would help me in the long run presented themselves to me and I took advantage of them (involves that whole broadcast/journalism thing from my first post in the thread). Because of these things I did, my name started getting around and before I could even react, people I have never talked to or seen before knew who I was. 9th grade was more like middle school, in terms of being just "a face in the crowd." The girl situation was normal for the time (I was still young) and nothing out of the ordinary was occurring yet. Girls in my classes talked to me since we got along. It was all seemed normal until... 10th grade. As I began to take advantage of the opportunities, things got interesting. I went to the Homecoming dance Junior and Senior year, but won my grade's Homecoming King both Sophomore and Junior year. When I was there Jr. year and won, I never was able to get my dance with the "Queen" from my grade. I think she was a little intoxicated at the time, but her and her friends was walking out of the gym, where the dance was being held, after they announced my name and were announcing hers (she was still at the dance later and said "sorry" while laughing and walking away later on at the dance). Remember, 10th grade was when I believe this whole "rep" and "blacklisting" by some began. Again, I don't think every girl banded together to blacklist me lol. But I think many of the more social girls did. And I like the remark about the reunions...should definitely be interesting lol. -
A possible revelation about my days in high school
DaXMan replied to DaXMan's topic in Dating Advice
I agree with you. I doubt I was "blacklisted" by every single girl at my high school, but girls who knew me (that I've talked to or encountered before) acted a bit strange around me, such as being "closed", restricted, etc. I have no clue how this all developed, but I do believe it had something to do with atleast one of the first two girls I asked out in 10th grade (that I mentioned). This whole "blacklisting theory" of mine I believe has enough proof/argument to present itself as a valid case. What I'm really surprised about with all this was how powerful it was. It seemed to affect almost every single girl I made contact with immediately from the beginning - before I even spoke to a particular chick. No matter what I did, it seemed like I had no chance from the beginning (either for a friendship or relationship) and when one of these girls would see me, a "flag" or "reminder" popped into their heads. As you said, reputation is hard to change. I did change a lot in my last two years of high school (maturity, confidence level, etc.), but maybe something from a year or two back stuck in their minds. College is a completely different scenerio though. Things are a lot different, there isn't going to be a big rep that follows me around, and it depends on what I do that will yield the result. -
I haven't posted here in a while, but a thought hit me a couple days ago and I am posting here to see if it could make sense to anyone else. First, I am now home for the holidays (I'm in college) and the girl situation is going much more smoothly. I am single right now, but when it comes to getting a good vibe from girls and being able to get girl's numbers, I am doing much better. Maybe this is due to a drastic improvement in the "girls" category since entering college, since I really wasn't successful in my high school. While that possibility could be true (though I woulddn't say I made such vast changes), upon some deep thinking, another theory hit me, and I feel I can back it up: I was blacklisted by girls in my high school. Yeah, I know it seems far-fetched, but before you look for the red X in the top right corner of your screen or make any half-hearted, general opinions, hear me out. 1.) You're probably first assuming I was some sort of social outcast or generalized as a big loser. Why else would girls simply avoid me as I walked towards them, right? Well, this was certainly not the case. Sure, I was well-known in my school, but not for being a notorious loser lol. During high school, I took opportunities to further myself (i.e. for college and career), and in the process, became known. Desiring to become a broadcaster/journalist, I was titled (by a staff member) the "voice of (name) high school", as I announced our football games and presented the morning announcements. I also created a sports publication highlighting school sports several times per year, worked closely with the football team, and anchored the only TV broadcast our school ever had. I don't want to brag here, but I'm trying to paint a clearer picture for you. 2.) That's all good DaXMan - but you still haven't mentioned anything that makes us know you weren't some sort of outcast. My bad. In high school, I would say I had many acquaintances and a small group of very close friends. All the general cliques existed, including the jocks. Like in many schools, the jocks were the most popular kids in the grade and the more attractive and more desireable girls went for them. There was also a decent-sized group of people who weren't big jocks (played a sport or two, but weren't nearly as flashy and did better in the classroom) - they looked alright and girls liked them as well. I knew people from all corners from the school, but I talked with these two groups the most. I had several friends in the "quasi-jock" group since I probably was most similar with them, but the big jock group seemed to like me as well. HOWEVER, it was the guys in these groups who seemed to really get along with me...not the girls, even though they were in these groups as well. 3.) Duh DaXMan - it was probably your looks. Were you a scrawny creep? Nope - not at all. I definitely was no Brad Pitt, but I presented myself well and wasn't "ugly". As a Varsity sprinter on the track team, I had to keep myself in solid shape, so I had an athletic build. I was also clean-shaven and I felt I looked as good as people in the "quasi-jock" group. However, this group did get girls - I did not. 4.) Have you ever tried approaching girls, DaXMan? Sure have - probably moreso than most. After my first couple rejections, I never felt all that devestated over a "no." I felt confident in myself and continued to approach several girls - some I approached hoping for friendship, otheres for a dating relationship. In my school though, I simply wasn't too successful. 5.) Hmm...so what's with the whole blacklisting thing? Nothing in here makes it seems like a possibility. You're right. And I'm about to prove that blacklisting could be the case. In my Senior year of high school, I won a scholarship and went to DC for a week. There were 51 girls there, many of which are attractive and desireable. I hit it off very well with them - smiles, jokes and physical contact going both ways, and this occurred quite a bit. Things went very well, and a few of them even waned to visit me at my college. Speaking of college, same thing happens there. I get along well with many girls, and a sizable amount have given me their numbers. So why not in my high school? To further strengthen my argument, I can pinpoint a time this whole event could have started. In 10th grade, still very new to the whole "dating game," I pursued two girls in particular that year. The first one seemed to get along real well with me, but she was also very flirtatious. She also was pretty popular, but again, my social status wasn't real low either. However, when I asked her out, she LASHED out against me and she hasn't really talked to me ever since. She made sure to explain some of my "faults" in detail, some of which were, to be blunt, not even true. She simply seemed so mad that I asked her out. I was a bit desperate at the time, but not in a very unhealthy way. As for the second chick, I was a bit desperate there too, but it wasn't so bad. This chick was basically begging me to ask her out and fellow classmates who knew us both gave me the green light (one said "I was gonna fix you two up, but it doesn't even seem like this will need my help"). So, I asked her out with confidence. Instead of a "yes", I heard she was telling people I was a stalker and a creep (yet I only saw her twice all day, one of which was sports practice). She blocked me in every way possible for a few months as well. These two "failures" were a sign of things to come. As I grew more mature and confident over my last two years of high school (and lost the desperateness from my sophomore year), nothing changed regarding the girls. Most girls were very closed, silent and restrictive when I was around or when I conversed with them, and anyone I asked out harshly refused, and made sure things were awkward afterwards. A girl or two looking for Prom dates in my Senior year decided not to go instead of accept my invitation. My close friends (who I was very similar to) weren't unsuccessful with girls at my school (they did alright). When we hung out together at school, girls passing by would almost tune me out, or try to stall until I introduced myself to them. I know I am just going on and on here, but I feel my claim could be true, as strange as it is. I may sound a little stuck up and feeling I am the "moral compass" to some, but I am trying to convey very clearly what occurred. Since you are all reading this on a forum, my intention was to help create the image of what this situation looked like. This post is long (as I said before), but any thoughts on this I would really appreciate.
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Yes I am very confused lol. I don't know what I'm truly thinking right now...it seems I have feelings for her, but also don't want a long term relationship so early in college (two weeks in). And by "let it slip", I meant her thinking I was interested instead of just general flirting...even giving her that idea in her head is what I meant.
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hmm...contrasting thoughts from ultraviolet and ShroomzGod. Both reasonable options, but which one should I choose?? Hmm... let's see: -USUALLY (like if I was in college for a few months/semster already), I would perfer ShroomzGod's option of "nexting" her if this didn't work. Because I'd be a few months in, I'd know other girls and this one wouldn't mean much to me. -HOWEVER, I can always use the chick friend (or some chick that I know and can talk to) at the very start of college (adds social proof too) like ultraviolet suggested. My campus has a TON of girls, so I think I'll meet a few more along the way as well. As I mentioned before, I kinda missed out on the whole "befriending attractive chicks" thing in high school, so it would be nice to be friends (or friendly) with a few chicks at college, enough so I can just talk to them at any time and it would be normal. And about the PUA thing...I wish lol. 3 years ago, I had little confidence with girls, had no clue what to do and was VERY VERY desperate and needy when it came to trying to get things to work. All it took was a couple harsh rejections in a row and my anger/resentment took me from major "wussy status" to being very (almost too) confident, and yes, using things like C+F. At first I had transformed due to anger, but now I feel more confident overall and the C+F stuff comes naturally. I still don't consider myself a PUA (pick up "artist") though because I haven't made many "crafts" yet.
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I get what you mean - I think I may be a little confused on my intentions as well, although I do know I don't want a LTR. I'll break down your post though: C+F - I do this with many attractive girls, not just ones I have some feelings for. Joke w/ stalker - I wanted to make light of the situation b/c we ran into each other so many times. Touching her - I touch girls I don't "like" either...it's normal. I can definitely see where your angle is coming from, but I don't see anything I did as being conclusive. I do think you are correct in her thinking I was flirting with intent towards her as well.
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Other than trying to decipher what her response really meant, I am stumped on where her sudden "friends" resposne came from. Possibilities: 1.) She is just very smart and great at picking things up with guys. No I was not thinking LTR again, but a date...perhaps. 2.) I let something slip during this IM exchange. That did not happen, so I'm counting it out. I gave exactly 0 compliments. 3.) I gave a clue prior to this. Probably is the answer, but I'm not sure where or when. The first time I met her in person, I may have talked a little more than I wanted to b/c I didn't really know anyone else there and some other guy was trying to bump me away from her so he could be the one talking to her, so I got a little competitive (just by nature). Also, when I'd talk to her, if I was going up to her, a I would touch arm/shoulder for physical contact, but I did make it seem natural. IN ADDITION, at the time last week, we were made aware of how cool intramural football was, espcially co-ed. Knowing she used to play a sport or two in HS, I asked what she thought of the idea last week. She said maybe at the time (I eventually decided to screw that idea and make a team w/ guys on my floor), but perhaps this was what may have given it away? What do you think? Is she just very smart, or did I flash my hand too soon? EDIT: We are both in a 400+ person Freshman lecture class. Of course, as I'm leaving and on my way back to my dorm, who do I run into...again? Yep, you guessed it - her. We did say hi, but that was it, as both of us were headed back to our dorms (hers is a mile away in the other direction).
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During my first two weeks of college, I've had a great time. However, while going to parties and talking to chicks, one has caught my eye. We both go to the same part of the University (like same school), which has some events for the class of incoming Freshman. I've seen her and talked to her at both of these events, and there are still a few more of these events to go. Also, two of the last three days I've done my running workout, we coincidentally run into each other. This chick is a bit on the protective side, so I came up with an idea to loosen her up a bit, by teasing her and accusing her of "stalking" me (again, a joke lol). At the bottom of this post, I explain my views on my feelings towards her (where the star is). Since I only have her online sn right now, I wa forced to use IM here. I explain to her how some girl is stalking me and while it's interesting and amusing, it's a little odd. I use SPECIFIC EXAMPLES of when this "stalking" occurred - I even quoted something she said when we were talking on one of these trips (to kinda give the hint it was her - why else would she care?). I used a LOT of cokky+funny and made sure w/e I did, not to give her any positive comments/compliments or start drifting from my story. She played along with the entire thing (and gave detailed responses, which beats one-word answers - also was teasing that I may be the one stalking lol...this obivously isn't true), but then all of a sudden she says "You and the stalker you are having all these coincidences with may work out as friends." My facial expression here was like . How the h*ll could she have atleast thought this was me "liking her?" (more in this at the bottom, where there is a star). Basically I kept playing out the whole "stalker" thing like I had no clue what she was inferring and "of course" being friends is fine. Actually, it really is...I don't want/need a gf the 2nd week in college where there are MANY HB's and even having a cool chick friend as social proof OR as a FB if it comes to that is OK too. *I do NOT like her. I do however, view her as someone who would be cool to get to know better. In HS, I didn't know a lot of chicks real well, so establishing this in college seems like a good deal - I'm going to need to know atleast a few girls well for things down the road (not dating, but other things...ways to get into parties, dates to dances, etc.).
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That type of thing could work...it sounds pretty good EDIT: I asked some chick I'm friends with, who is "hard to get" and is very clever what line she thinks would work. She can get guys to chase her frighteningly easy, so I figuured her opinion here could be valuable. (I met her on a scholarship trip, but she lives like 1000 miles away from me). She thought both were good, but said she preferred the "more blunt" one. Of course, I won't be going solely on one person's opinion - I'll see what the situation is like at school and then use the one I think fits better, since I like both lines.
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lol. I'm going to ask her - don't worry (and it won't be "as friends" - it's to Prom). Now DD, I know you were explaining to me C+F. Does work (when I ask her): ME: I know we've been "taunting each other" (over the scholarship), so I have decided. HER: Decided what? ME: We're going to prom together. Wear something nice. I don't want to ask the question in the way where she could just say yes or no - that has never worked for me in the past (also gives her too much power IMO). A C+F approach however (especially on this chick) could work. If you have any ideas I could use (if you don't think mine sounds good), feel free to post them.
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Thanks for the advice so far! I will try to ask her tomorrow (given today's school day ended already lol). I was considering asking today, but my friends today were always talking to me and I couldn't really find myself alone with her at any point of the day.
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I haven't posted here in a long while, since I haven't exavtly been trying to ask out girls lately or anything like that. But I'm back for the time being lol, and I need your help. Senior Prom is just over a month from now at my sxhool (June 16), and if I want to go, I'm going to need to ask a chick pretty quickly. While I am looking for a chick to ask, one chick has been acting a little "weird" towards me lately. We've known each other a little bit over the past two years, but over the past week or two, it seems I know her much more now. I need a little help "reading between the lines" and seeing what her true intentions mey be: - First, we're both competing for this scholarship. Once she became aware that I was going for this scholarship as well, she began joking to me about how she is going to win. I made some c+f (cocky + funny) comebacks and soon, this "joking" became a class event, as the entire class (we share one class together) now tunes in to see what will happen. Some of my more witty comebacks have resulted in some kino, which is good. It seems to be all good though, and we're both smiling as we do this. - Every day now, atleast for the past week, she stares as me as we pass through the hall during a certain part of the day. The past few days, after she has her eyes fixated on me , she says hi. Today, as I'm walking past her with one of my friends, I can see her already looking at me as she's getting closer to me. As we're about to pass, I jump the gun a little and say "hey" because I was sure she would once again say hi. She ends up smiling, shaking her head, and passes (my friend is laughing at me at this point). I made sure to tell her when we had that class together how devastated I was that she didn't say hi (jokingly of course) She'll pretend to ignore me sometimes as well (atleast today)...This could be a tactic on her part? I think it could be. -She came out by my car b/c she had to drive to a track meet. I was hanging with my friends, some of which know her too. As she's leaving, I step in front of the car and she said she wants to run me over (pretty sure that was a joke). I wait till her car creeps towards me and then pretend she hit my leg (I hit the car so it made a loud sond). It was funny though. I am pretty sure that she, for some reason, said she "liked" someone out of me and my three other friends though, which was kinda interesting (she wouldn't say who). -I'm at the movies the other day with a different group of friends. We're talking about Prom dates and one of my friends out of nowhere says "(girl I've been talking about) doesn't have a date!" Maybe that's just a coincidence, but it was odd how he just says her name out of all people. No one (none of my friends) even knows I am considering asking her to Prom, so I was a little surprised. Anything jump out at you here? I'm not 100% sure if she does or does not have a date. I just though this was interesting - I think she could be trying to use some games or tactics here perhaps. Any help here is appreciated.
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Sounds like a good plan to me. The only problem with this is that I'm actually going to DC for a scholarship for most of next week. But for now, I will definitely try to execute this strategy/plan. Hopefully, it works!
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Thanks for the advice here. As you mentioned, specifying my search to two or three girls and learning about them is a very good start. If I did what you suggested, I'd have "choices", which is always a good thing. Hopefully there are a few more good weeks before I HAVE to ask someone. I agree with your advice with starting out more slowly (like as "friends", but not exactly "friends). I had tried to move too quickly in the past, once I thought I saw the signs, but it never worked. As for Ying-Yan, I am calling you a target! Just kidding, but you need to know that guys talk like this - in fact, a lot of them. We don't see girls in general as "targets." It's just a word/phrase for when we like a girl and try to see if we can make things happen. I don't go around calling girls targets, so I don't think they're going to feel objectified. And, do consider hot guys you see/like as "targets"?
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Ah, there was something else I wanted to mention. I see, by the way I posed the question, "be yourself" and "u gotta try" are going to be the popular answers here. But I'm looking more for a plan here. If I was to all of a sudden start talking to these girls constatly out of the blue, it may seem a little weird. So doing it subtly and letting it grow is the best route. The only real problems with game planning is: 1.) I need a target. Right now, I don't have one. 2.) I need to find a good way to break the ice with my target. I do not want this to look obvious, since I've done that in the past and it has not worked out. 3.) I do not want to sound arrogant/cocky in any way when I say this, but it seems word gets out whenver I do something in this realm. Word speads quickly, and a lot of people know who I am (i have some close friends, but a lot of acquaintances), so it's almsot like I'm under a magnifying glass at times. I don't want it to appear that I'm panicking here, but I only have three months, so I'll need to do something pretty soon.
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I haven't been on these boards in quite a while (I was last on here in like November-December), as I've been trying to improve my game in the field. Although I've been flirting and such a bit better than before I took a break from this board, I am still without a gf...and a date to Senior Prom! My Prom is three months away (it'll be exactly three months in six days I think). Out of my close friends, one has a date so far (his gf). Me and my other close friends are still single and looking. For me though, the problem is that I don't even know WHO to ask. I don't have real strong feelings for any girls right now, which may be a bit weird, considering it's near Prom time. I am searching though and looking for a good chick to ask. My last resort would be to bring a chick from an hour or so away to the Prom (there are three possibilities - I know a girl that lives 1000 miles from me though, so I don't think that'll happen). I don't really want to have to do that though, if I can just bring a girl that goes to my school or lives a lot closer. My main obstacles here are that I'm not real close to any girls and that whenever I've asked a girl on a date, I've received a harsh or surefire no and the girl makes things awkward afterwards (I ask in a good, not ab-normal fashion too). Any help on how I should approach this is appreciated.
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I agree with what you're trying to say here, but once I get back into school after the break, I got just over 5 months till Senior Prom. I gotta find a chick to go with, so I gotta stay focused on them, at least a little bit right now.
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I quoted what I said here on my first post, because I just realized this exact thing is occurring with the last girl I had asked out (I color-code so it's easier to break down if you're analyzing btw). Around the start of November, I had asked this chick out...or at least tried to (keep reading to see what happened with this). She definitely showed "signs" of interest, some of which seemed obvious, so I felt pretty good. When I did ask her out though, she ran away. I didn't even get a yes or a no - she mumbled "uhh, i have to see" and went to her car rather quickly. I felt I asked her out using the wording I wanted, which was fine, but for w/e reason, she couldn't just say no. Before I asked her out, we had talked a bit, but not really a ton. We share one class together, and we did talk a decent amount in there. But after I asked her out, NOTHING. I waited 2-3 days for the awkwardness to drift away (I'm fine after that), then started talking to her again like normal. But I began to realize she wasn't talking as much to me as before. One month later (now)... Now this girl, while being a "nice, safer girl", seems to be able to talk to a lot of people easily and not really in a flirty sense. So, you figure after a month and a half since I asked her out, all the awkwardness would be gone on her end, right? Nope. She still doesn't talk to me much, and I have tried starting conversations. There are me and two other guys she usually talks to. She asks them what they're doing after school one day, but not me (she knows them a little more, but I was right there too). She tends to reply to anything I say to her with one or two words as well, if that. In fact, the day before winter break (yesterday), I asked what she's doing over break, just to have a short conversation with 5 minutes left in class (I don't "like" her anymore btw) and we were all waiting by the door. She doesn't even say anything - shurgs her shoulders and mumbles that she doesn't know - looking the other way as well. So I dunno what this last example's all about. I have talked to her, but ever since I had asked her out, she doesn't talk to me. I still treat her the same way, still try talking to her, etc. She's a sociable person who enjoys talking to people, but obviously, I must not be worth talking to at all, in her eyes.
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Thanks for the advice. I've been off the site for a couple days due to HW (my dad still forces me to do stuff although I'm already accepted into my first college choice), not feeling real well over the weekend, etc. But there was one point that really made me think: Interesting. I think you may have a point. At school, people seem to always have something to say to me - sometimes it's criticizing my morning announcements, which I've done for three years just so their voice gets heard, or even if I get something wrong in a particular class. I thought about your quote and you may be right. I realized the first time, I'll ignore it/laugh it off or whatever. After the 2nd or 3rd time though, I start to get a little ticked off because usually they're just trying to be annoying. That's when I'll become defensive. When it's really stupid things people say to me in front of a lot of people (**some moron asks who I'm asking to prom right in front of a few hotties a short while ago), my ticker becomes shorter. I used to say absolutely nothing when this sort of stuff happened. But then, some "anger" started to seep out and that's why I become defensive. One common example is how students critique my announcements each day...I can guarantee none of them can do it if I made them do it cold for one day (there's a lot more than just reading cards...trust me). It's frustrating. When someone says something like this when no one else is around, I'll make up some joke. But when it seems like someone does it just to get attention in front of a lot of people and they have no clue about what they're saying, I get frustrated. **This fat moron, as I mentioned before, only started acting this way when I "destroyed" him in a debate in one of my classes. I was presenting something, he thought he had a question to disprove my thesis (he bragged about it too right before I replied), but I rattled off many facts and details, and pretty much said he was wrong (not in a mean way, but I was presenting my point). He may not have cared, but it may have been humiliating for him a little in the class.
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I am looking for criticism, but usually on these boards it's constructive criticism. I don't want people saying I'm perfect and they're all nuts (as u mentioned), but I think your opinion came out the wrong way a bit. I know I got some faults and there are things to improve on as well. I get what you're saying about presentation. On these boards, I usually need to describe more things, so I come off a certain way. At school, where we know the people, it's a bit different. I'll look into it though, although I really try not to brag in school if something good happened(again, there's that difference here w/ the background). OK, I know you didn't write your response out of pure hatred...although it does look that way. I dunno if you read your reply, but it is a little harsh IMO. And I've seen some pretty odd moments on other board where people go to war with each other. I appreciate the advice, I think it was just your delivery that made things sound a bit differently the first time around.
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You're not suggesting I always say nice things to girls, right? Cuz that's just funny - if a guy says nice things to girls ALL THE TIME, it's never gonna work - "nice guys finish last." Anyway, the girl I said this to knew I was just joking around. Of course I wouldn't just say this to some stranger. Again, this goes along with what I wrote in red font. Being nice 24/7 does not work - I don't even think it can be done. Sounds more like you're St. Peter here. And when did I say people in general did not like me? If that was the case, I'd have no friends at all, no one would want to say anything to me, and no one to talk to. Outer whatever? You make me sound like Satan. I don't go around dissing people all day. And if you read the post, you would see that I referred to this as "negative hitting", which is not a bad thing. In fact, it can work pretty well if timed correctly. Two things here. First, since you don't know me, I have to provide some background to the situation (in this case, it sounded like I was bragging, but that's because I'm trying to say what I feel is good about me - I'm not gonna start saying negative things all the time). Second, I said in my post that this is what people have SAID to me. I'm not trying to brag (though it could have come accross that way), as I had already mentioned. Maybe I didn't make that part clear enough? In fact, in some of my previous posts, I have written negative qualities about myself, so I don't always brag. I don't sugarcoat anything here - I write what I think is real, so I get real answers. And remember, no one is perfect - everyone obviously has flaws. Now I know you probably skimmed the entire post. If you read the post, you will see that I am not really "such a smart person." I mentioned that people appear to think that of me sometimes, not that I actually am "so smart." I never said that I was. I know how I responded is exactly "how you view me." But you can't just go onto a board and start criticizing people and pretty much calling them a bad person. I don't think you wrote one positive thing in this entire post - constructive criticism is positive at heart - this sounded like pure hatred. I get pretty mad when people THAT DON'T KNOW ME start telling me I should rot in hell or whatever. You can't start belittling me if you don't know me - it doesn't work like that.
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As you can see by the title to this thread, I think there is a chance I don't have a gf or some girls lining up to see me because I can be intimidating...? I thought this out: A lot of people know me or know of me (some of that may be due to doing morning announcements - who knows), I speak pretty well compared to most other students at school (not really really big words, but not gansta either), I apparently seem to be "respected" (everybody, guys and girls alike congratulated me when I got accepted to my desired college - seemed like a lot of attention. Also, a lot of people say hey to me in te halls and such) and, according to some girls (who have decent social standing too), I am "confident and mature", which is always good. Although I am just around 5'6" and have decent body build and I think I look alright (but again, I'm short - a lot of girls are my height), I don't feel I am a bad package at all. That wasn't meant to be bragging or anything - just background. I think the biggest factor to my "thought" is that I don't flirt all the time. A bunch of guys flirt 24/7, or at least more thna I do. But it's not like I don't flirt at all - I do, just not all the time. I also talk to girls about things like who their next game is against and other conversational things, unlike a few of these big flirters. Here are a few examples of where I may be getting at (each one is short): -I am walking down the hall w/ a friend. Some girl comes over and hugs/talks to my friend, right in front of me! If I don't know her, then it's no biggie. If I do know her, I wonder why she wouldn't even acknowledge me (I'll pop in a "hey" or "what's up", but it usually doesn't get far). As you can see, this has occurred more than once. -My experience with asking out girls has been interesting. I do aim for girls that are more attractive, but are also good people (I got guts lol...I have a "no one is out of my league" mentality). The thing is, when they've said no, they never throw out that awkwardness. They lead me on apparently, say no when I ask them out (one or two even just ran away - dunno why) and then after a week or so when the awkwardness should be gone, they don't really talk to me much again. I try to start a conversation like normal, but the girl's answers are usually very short and it appears she doesn't want to even talk to me. Usually, this results in a loss of contact - it's odd that this seems to happen most of the times I've asked a girl out though. -Some girls (not all) seem to get rather serious and not as open or loose when talking with me. These girls can be very open to my friends, laughing, etc. But when I come along and say hey with a smile/smirk (I'm just like the rest of my friends), they don't have that same attitude they do with my friends - even if I know the girl. They act more closed towards me compared to others I know (even if we know the girl just as well), and I don't know why. I can get girls to smile, but it's not the same. -A little off-topic, but I am no "nice guy" either. I used to be in 9th-10th grade, but not now. I "neg-hit" on girls when there's a good opportunity and I won't necessarily say the "nice thing" (girl scored nine points...I comment how the team blew a 15-point lead, just to bust her chops). Yesterday, some girl walked towards the garbage can to toss her lunch bag, but she missed by a mile and hit me. Before she and her friends could finish saying "ooo, u hhit DaXMan" and sat down, I had tossed the bag back to the girl and her friends, with a smirk on my face. I think this is just trying to improve rep here though. Those are just a couple examples. I can be funny and laid back, but also serious when it comes to getting things done. A lot of people think I'm very smart, but I've never touched an AP in high school and I'm just in the top quarter of my class (near 400 kids). They also find me aware of whats's going on, which surprises me. So, could I possibly be a bit intimidating without know it in the eyes of girls?
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Ah - I figured this would come up. In fact, my friend said the exact same thing to me the other day, when we were both talking about Prom. While this statement is probably correct, there is one little problem that I have to conquer... I am not exactly the most successful guy when it comes to girls at my school. A lot of these guys are friends with a lot of girls and also have many girls lunging for them, so these guys will easily have a date by the time Prom comes around (more likely). I don't have a lot of friends that are girls and I've never gotten a real "yes" when I've asked a girl out to anything (two times, the girl said yes, then totally changed her mind within 24 hours). So getting that "yes" to the Prom doesn't seem so easy anymore. To answer your last question in the quote, I want a date that I care about and want to be there with (the latter). I am hoping things will work out.
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haha yeah, I do seem to make things exciting (sometimes that includes an ounce of drama ). A lot of it I feel is just overthinking on my part - I tend to strategize situations and then try to carry those plans out. Anyway, I can see your point of preparing for the prom as being mostly "spontaneous." I have no idea who I am going to end up going with (hopefully) or what other things may happen. I read your last paragraph - at my school, it's "bring a date or bust I do not expect many people to go with a pack of friends and at my school, I'm not even sure you are allowed in alone! Most of what it is is just that I want to end up with a date for this thing. Since I've never gone on a "real date" and the few "yes" replies I've gotten (maybe around 2 outta 7 or 8 ) when I've asked a girl out oddly turned into "no's" within 24 hours. It's just building up the confidence that a girl will say "yes" when I ask her and mean it. Once I hopefully get a date, then the whole thing becomes a lot less stressful.
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hmm...maybe I'm alright where I am now... I'm not real close "friends" with a bunch of hotties, so maybe based from what you said, this is a good thing. I think I just need to get to know some chicks better so they can consider me as a possible Prom date, but not so much that they will only view me as a friend. I still have some time, since I don't plan to go on my "find-a-date" spree until late February/March. 8)