Could you have sex with someone that stood for everything you were against?

[scared and alone]

Especially if you were desperate and they were physically hot? If it was just a one time only fling and you never even had to converse, but, you knew how their values were 100% everything that you hated and you could not STAND them?

[blueidealist24]

I honestly don't think I could.. are you thinking of doing that or is this just hypothetical? I think you'd have to talk with someone you've slept with at some point lol, even if it was just a short conversation.

[Your Prince]

I probably could have a fling with them, assuming I thought they were really attractive. I wouldn't care about their values because I didn't value them.

 

Then again, I don't do that. I'm loyal to a fault, & I dont think I'll ever be with a person besides my princess until she's long gone, which shouldn't be more than 20 years, considering her drug use.

[scared and alone]

I honestly don't think I could.. are you thinking of doing that or is this just hypothetical? I think you'd have to talk with someone you've slept with at some point lol, even if it was just a short conversation.

 

I could NEVER do that. My values are very intact and on a moral level from MY point I could NEVER go for someone that was everything that I hate. so I could NEVER do that. i dont care how hot you are. And, im married, so no. But, if I was single, NO.

[greywolf]

I don't think so. If their values were completely opposite from mine, I don't think I could find them attractive, no matter how hot.

[Generation]

Yeah, easily, but I'm a guy and it's sort of a twisted fantasy. i don't know if i could define someone like that though, but the worst that my mind has to work with is good enough.

[Lockwood]

I don't think so. If their values were completely opposite from mine, I don't think I could find them attractive, no matter how hot.

 

Agreed. If I found them intellectually repugnant (as opposed to merely less than ideal), I couldn't find them sexually attractive. It's all tied up together.

[scared and alone]

Yeah, easily, but I'm a guy and it's sort of a twisted fantasy. i don't know if i could define someone like that though, but the worst that my mind has to work with is good enough.

 

what do you mean twisted fantasy? And why is it easy?What does being a guy have to do with it?

[greywolf]

what do you mean twisted fantasy? And why is it easy?What does being a guy have to do with it?

 

I think when you have sex with someone you don't respect, it can make you feel like you're degrading them, and it can make you feel powerful. Don't know what it has to do with being a guy though.

[scared and alone]

I think when you have sex with someone you don't respect, it can make you feel like you're degrading them, and it can make you feel powerful. Don't know what it has to do with being a guy though.

 

but, how can you have sex with someone you dont respect? Im sorry, my mind just doesnt work that way. if i cant respect you on some level, i cant sleep with you.

[greywolf]

but, how can you have sex with someone you dont respect? Im sorry, my mind just doesnt work that way. if i cant respect you on some level, i cant sleep with you.

 

Are you actually trying to understand, or are you just going to judge the people that feel differently than you do? Because the bolded suggests the latter.

[scared and alone]

Are you actually trying to understand, or are you just going to judge the people that feel differently than you do? Because the bolded suggests the latter.

 

im trying to understand, but thanks. thats why i asked. im curious.

[greywolf]

im trying to understand, but thanks. thats why i asked. im curious.

 

If you're curious and want answers, then don't look down on things you don't understand.

 

It has to do with viewing a person as an object.

[DN]

I am not sure of the purpose of this thread. It doesn't seem to be asking for advice since you have clearly made up your mind already. Is it about someone you know and are trying to help?

[Your Prince]

Alot of social scientists have this idea of what's called "the madonna - ***** dichotomy" I dont know if it applies to everyone, but basically they think men either respect a woman or they are attracted to them- not both. A sexy woman is seen as ****ty or raunchy, thus not respectable. Respectable women are too stiff, so they're not hot. I think this might be true in some cases, but for me, It's a matter of trying to find the girl with all the good parts of both without the bad parts. I ended up with a girl who is difficult to respect...too much of a bad girl for my taste.

[pl3asehelp]

No, but then again, if that's what their values were, I wouldn't find them hot as values are more important to me than looks.

[Unknown1607307972]

No, I couldn't sleep with someone who had radically different views to me. To totally stand for everything I am against would also include being homophobic, racist, sexist, cruel to animals, etc. Sex doesn't necessarily have to come with love for me but I just couldn't be attracted to someone whose views I strongly disagreed with, even if he was just sexist or racist that'd be a dealbreaker.

[drummergirl]

I've never met somebody who stood against EVERYTHING I stand for. I have at least a few common values with everybody that I've met.

[dancer179]

Nah. I need a connection with someone before I can have sex.

[MizzGee]

No, I couldn't sleep with someone who had radically different views to me. To totally stand for everything I am against would also include being homophobic, racist, sexist, cruel to animals, etc. Sex doesn't necessarily have to come with love for me but I just couldn't be attracted to someone whose views I strongly disagreed with, even if he was just sexist or racist that'd be a dealbreaker.

 

perfectly stated.

[Day_Walker]

I think that some would be capable of completely superficial sex with a person. The question really asks does a persons views matter in order for you to have sex with them. It seems to me that the first time you have sex with a person, you dont know that person completely or how they would respond to a given situation, in a way there are a lot of unknowns.

 

My question is that if you were going to have completely superficial sex with a person and it was only going to be a one night stand why would views even come into the picture? It would be about the sex and that is it.

[littleL_RN]

This thread reminds me of an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." Ted goes on a date with this completely wretched, miserable girl. Since he doesn't care about pursuing anything serious with her, he decides to pull the "Naked Man" move where he gets totally naked while she's in the bathroom and hopes that when she sees him naked, she'll think it's funny enough to have sex with him.

 

It sounds so sexist, but TV/movies/even peers reinforce that men have more of an ability to turn off their emotions and have superficial sex with a person with whom they share completely different values... provided that they're reasonably attractive.

[itsallgrand]

Are you talking about hate sex, or just sex where you don't care about the person?

 

If someone actually stood for everything I am against, and I knew it in a real way, there would probably be some pretty ugly feelings there ...for them to even be on the radar that much.

 

I think in order for me to have sex with someone like that, I'd have to become the monster side of me: it would be hate sex. And I don't do that. That would lead into something sick to me, a type of merging of violence and sex that though I believe is latent in every individual, is not healthy at all.

 

And to me, total indifference is just as bad. To have sex with someone you are indifferent to, except as a body to use, that is hate sex too. Casual sex is possible while still having some level of caring about who a person is: at least, I think so! Different animal than when you introduce actual things you feel s/y about being part of that person you are having sex with....because it is more about you as a person and your attitude to sex/your own sexuality/whole personhood, then about them.

 

just my personal opinion/feelings on it.

[Unknown1607307972]

I think that some would be capable of completely superficial sex with a person. The question really asks does a persons views matter in order for you to have sex with them. It seems to me that the first time you have sex with a person, you dont know that person completely or how they would respond to a given situation, in a way there are a lot of unknowns.

 

My question is that if you were going to have completely superficial sex with a person and it was only going to be a one night stand why would views even come into the picture? It would be about the sex and that is it.

 

Because I don't feel comfortable around these people, I may even feel angered by some of their views. Unlike some people I don't have to feel emotionally connected to someone to have sex with them, but if they make me angry and stand for things I hate it'd be too hard to forget. I wouldn't feel attractive or sexy, I wouldn't be able to forget that this person represents everything I hate. This is of course in the instance that I knew what they stood for.

[Fudgie]

I can't separate emotion from sex, so no I can't.

 

One of my exes from years, years ago (he was my age) revealed to me around the time that I dumped him that he held almost Neo-Nazi-like views. I had no idea before, we were together just over a year. I recoiled. We had great chemistry and physically, he was very good looking and muscular, but I could never, ever touch him again.