A Moment with the EX (HELP)

[ryan14]

hello iceesnowbubble

 

thank you very much for the reply i really appreciate it.

 

just an update my ex-girlfriend's mom called me up and ask why KC (not real name) and i brokeup, she didn't know because she's living in a different city (she's separated with my ex-girlfriend's dad also)

 

i told her that i dont really know why, so she ask me to come over at her office on wednesday to discuss the whole thing and i accepted the invitation.

 

should i go and meet my ex-gf's mom? please help me

[Foz]

Will it make you feel better to talk to her mother and are you going to be the one to tell her mom she is now with another girl??

i dont know would i get involved with the mother, to be honest no matter how badly your ex has treated you, her mom is going to stand by her and stick up for her so i dont know what you will gain by talking to the mom!!

 

 

 

By the way, my ex has a new gf!! we are only broken up 3 months and he already has someone else!! didnt take him long to move on from a 3.5 year relationship now did it??

[ryan14]

Hello Foz

 

I accepted the invitation because i wanna hear what's the other side of the story and i would tell her mom that i really want KC back.

 

got a bad dream this 4:30 AM, it's so horrible i had the chance to meet my ex-gf and we talk but she was really so cold talkin to me, she said that she doesn't want to see anymore and she said that we dont have any future at all, what does this mean is it really gonna happen man this dream is so getting into my nerve, i am crying right now while typing this reply to you.

 

i can't understand why other people have the ability to forget the whole thing (the long relationship) Foz they are so cruel, they dont deserve us, but we still love them, i hate myself i can't really understand why, i feel like i am back to square one!!!

[dontknowwhattodo]

Ryan, I read all the posts in this thread and what I have to say is you need to clear your head. May be take a trip to go somewhere, sit down and take your mind out of this situation (in my case I moved to another continent). It will allow you to "be yourself", enjoy what you have in life and be able to look at this from other angles. I was abused and led on by my first ex bf consistently for a total of "five" years (same things as your ex did to you i.e., email, text, phone call, intimate, jealousy, etc.). No matter what people told me, I wasn't able to let go until my head allowed it to go. I am greatful that I now have a new life and am much better off without him.

 

We all have been there and done that and we all know that only you can help yourself. No matter what people tell you, if your mind is not clear, you will only be struggling in it. Good luck.

[Ated]

FOZ,

 

I think your ex found a new girl in such a quick time in order to fill in the void. I'm almost certain that this new gf is a rebound. I've just read the whole post and I'm actually 8 motnhs since my ex brokw up with me. Same story, he initiates contact (always; i never call him) and he has replaced me with another girl only after a month.

 

I think we al need to step back the "square" and look at it from different angles. If you put someone else in your shoes, what advice would you give them? The same!

 

RYAN14,

 

PLEASE>>>LISTEN TO THE POST! Do not contact her! Just leave her be! MOVE ON! Sorry, but its frustrating to know that your letting her control you like this. You deserve better man. I was reading your post and its long... but quite frankly, i think your being a wuss! BE a man!~ Over and over people tell you to just STOP, THINK

 

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Just apply NC religiously! As others mentioned, if she's willing to make an effort to get you back, then thats a different story. However, from what you;ve been posting, it's all bovine fecal matter! Don't go out of your way to find out things about her... Once again, this will hurt you. You know this! I do not need to say it!

 

Listen man, I understand, TRUST ME, it does hurt like a bloody beeping beep! But save yourself.

 

SOrRy! I just don't like to know that a person can control their situation. I don't like tha fact that you can prevent yourself from getting hurt. You're only human, it's very easy to succumb to temptation -- to call, reply or look and enquire about her relationship status...

[ryan14]

ated

 

thank you very much for bringing me back to reality!!!

[Ated]

You're most welcome. Sorry tho. I didn't wanna come off as mean. But you have to understand that if u really want to stop hurting, do it! Don't think it, DO IT!

 

We can't make you stop calling her or replying to her messages... But the thing is, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself! Stand up... and IMPROVE YOURSELF! Improve meaning, learn new skills, taking up a new hobbie... Make her see that you are new and improved. This will make you feel better and PERHAPS, make you want her back. I strongly recommend you do this to get her off your mind first and all. Just so as not to get your hopes up for a waste. If it works to get her back, then hey, it's a great bonus.

 

Bottom line is Ryan, stop being the victim! Make things happen and just be positive! You won't get her back by being a "im such a loser... pls come back to me.... my whole world is nothing without u..." Think positively. Think : "Ok, no more playing games. You want me, make an effort! You dont, I'm fine with it. I'm not a part-time lover! Either with you and with you all the way, or nothing!"

 

You are not a spare tire Ryan. Your a man! Be a man. Tell her how it is! If she's being so difficult about it, well tough. Suck it up. She missed out! Why waste time in someone who only wants to string you along? Wouldnt that time be better spent on looking for a NEW potential lover who you can have an even better r'ship with?!

 

NC! K?

[Ated]

Another thing, if you continue to always ask for advice and not take it, people just might get tired of telling you wat to do. They may feel that there is no need to give you advice seeing as though u refuse to apply it.

 

I don't know... but all i know is, the sooner you be confident and work and make yourself feel good. People (girls) will find you attractive and love you for ur strength! Furthermore, if u stay positive, ppl will admire you and can look up to u... In example, fellow enotaloners who are going through a rough time too...

 

 

LIFE IS WHAT U MAKE IT.

[ryan14]

hi again ated

 

thank you for being brutally honest and i'm sorry to all of you guys out there who have taken the time to give me advices, i guess i am so stubborn to listen like my stubborn ex.

 

ey, wait i shouldN'T really speak about my ex (STUPID STUPID STUPID)

 

hope everyone learned from all the mistakes i did for my ex (STUPID ME AGAIN).

 

NC WILL COMMENCE RIGHT NOW! 5,4,3,2,1......

[Ated]

I'm glad you're gonna do NC, just see how it works for u...

 

Don't ever feel you're stupid just because you talk about your ex. Once again, i UNDERSTAND how you feel. 8 motnhs since my ex broke up with me and i still think about him everyday... I talk about him at least once a week to my friends... It's not stupid to talk about your ex. It actually helps when you talk about them. What i think is stupid is, not picking one-self up. Letting an ex bother you, restrain you from healing...

 

You're not stupid at all. Your not stubborn either. I think sometimes, like u said, you just need to hear it and hear it agian for it to sink in. However, we can't just keep telling you the same thing. If u want, i can just save what we all say and copy and paste it! lol

 

Anwyays ryan, we are all here for u. But you have to put a real effort. Don't let us down. Most importantly, don't let yourself down.

[Recovering_Lover]

Ated,

 

I lvoe your motivational speech. It helps me too. heh. I miss talking to my ex, Although I don't want her as a g/f anymore, but I miss her unique intellectual conversations we had and the games we played and the stupid jokes we made etc...

 

These are all memories, so time to time, you think about them, and you feel tempted to call, and at that time, I often log on to enotalone and read postings' like yours and the advice Munceia gave me etc...and ponder, why I shouldn't call, and then I stop calling.

 

So thanks to your motivational speech and all others esp. Mun's. She is great moderator!

 

R.L.

[Ated]

Yeah i know. Muneca helped me a lot too!

 

I'm glad that i'm not only helping one person... the more the better! How long has it been now RL?

 

Yes, i know about the memories. You know sometimes i wish i could just cut that section of my brain. Just like others i tell u. I know others also want to fast forward to the time when they are healed... (again, just like me)

 

Everything will be alright tho... I mean, how long were u dating? i mena, you've lived MOST of your life without that person, and what you shared was special, indeed, but the time you spend is just a TINY TINY dot in your long life line...

 

Besides, there will be plenty more times where your heart will be broken agian. I know. WHAT?!?! hehehe but thats life!

[ryan14]

Recovering lover

 

listen to ated, she's an online version of a slap in the face when you dont understand things, and you dont know how to get back to reality.

[Ated]

I'll take that as a compliment... lol