miss_sunshine86 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hi, This is the first time I'm posting in here, I was in the break up forum for years as I was dealing with an on off relationship which finally ended for good 3 months ago. Anyway, a few months ago I met this guy, as a friend. He's a year younger than me and we speak everyday, as friends. I think he has always liked me a little, but we only spoke as friends as he knew I was getting over a break up. Anyway, we didn't see eachother for a while (months) as we were always busy and because we spoke so much I think I thought maybe it might be something more. Anyway, I met up with him last night and although I had a great time with him, I kind of realised for sure that he is physically not my type to take it any further. I said goodnight and went home. Now he's been texting me all day saying how much he likes me and I just don't know what to say Don't want to loose his friendship. Help ENA I feel like a huge Link to comment
freedomaddict Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 It's better to be upfront about it than to lead him on. If he's a man at all, he'll appreciate you being straightforward and he's gonna have to get over it. Link to comment
brickheart Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I agree, leading him on will only hurt him more later. I would definitely lead with "I really appreciate your friendship" then go into "but I don't see us going out." Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Your apprehension has absolutely nothing to do with his feelings. That is the Ego projecting. You simply don't want to be viewed in a negative manner. Own your decisions objectively and set yourself free. For the love of God though don't lead him into a friendship thing with a word track. One text. "I have decided that I do not want to pursue things beyond the platonic level." Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 I am so bad at being direct. I do want us to stay friends and I do quite like him liking me. I guess I want my cake and to eat it to, I would not like it if he had a GF, I really am a terrible person lol Link to comment
Furbys Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 You have to be direct, you like the attention of a guy liking and wanting you but it is not fair on him. Just imagine how you would feel if this was the other way around and a guy led you on because he liked the attention. Just tell him you want to stay as friends. Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Please be direct. It's not fair to keep him dangling. All you have to say is "I really value our friendship but I'm just not feeling a spark. I'm sorry." ESPECIALLY if he is a friend. He'll realise you're not into him eventually. Drag it out and he's going to feel like a bit of a berk. Link to comment
sandeepjaswal Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 I agree, But we are really get the value in our friendship but just feeling a spark. really, We tell for these guys and talking about in friendship. Just imagine she feel like so good and then she near to us. Link to comment
Steve55 Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Right, if you are sure, then it's best to be direct. Take it from a guy who has been on the other side of that several times. It hurts for a while, but it's better than being strung along. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Just be honest and tell him you don't feel that way about him. Also, what was your old screen name? Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Hi, Anyway, a few months ago I met this guy, as a friend. but we only spoke as friends as he knew I was getting over a break up. He would only know if you were just friends if you told him you were just friends. And if you did make it clear early he wouldn't be hitting on you, and you wouldn't have to worry about 'having your cake and eating too'. Cut him lose now. You've had your fun. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 I was heartbroken310...... I told him anyway and he was upset for one day but now seems happy being friends I also had a horrible unexpected with my ex which made me realise although i'm getting over my ex i'm not quite over the hurt so need a bit more time alone. Link to comment
Dusk1983 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 I was heartbroken310...... I told him anyway and he was upset for one day but now seems happy being friends I also had a horrible unexpected with my ex which made me realise although i'm getting over my ex i'm not quite over the hurt so need a bit more time alone. That's not strictly true, is it - if this guy was more attractive, you wouldn't need another second to get over your ex. The ridiculous thing is that if this guy went out and got a stunning new girl, you (by your own admission) would end up jealous and probably re-develop feelings for him. It's messed up, but so typical of women. You all want "the prize". Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 That's not strictly true, is it - if this guy was more attractive, you wouldn't need another second to get over your ex. The ridiculous thing is that if this guy went out and got a stunning new girl, you (by your own admission) would end up jealous and probably re-develop feelings for him. It's messed up, but so typical of women. You all want "the prize". I think you might be blinded by your own bitterness towards women. He's not her type physically. It's her right to move on. Link to comment
Dusk1983 Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Bitter? I'm in love and living with an amazing girl. Doesn't mean I won't call someone out on BS. I am so bad at being direct. I do want us to stay friends and I do quite like him liking me. I guess I want my cake and to eat it to, I would not like it if he had a GF, I really am a terrible person lol Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Generalizations about a gender sound like bitterness ... especially since those generalizations are not true. Link to comment
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